Going to Do It & Become a Didit
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 68
Going to Do It & Become a Didit
I really hate starting a thread, it puts me out there and I can’t take it back. Makes it real. Will I actually do it, or will I just be a talker about it, like I have been for so long. I have been quitting for so long but not succeeding.
When I make mistakes in my life or I share my feelings, there are a few people in my life that sometimes throw it back at me and use my vulnerability to hurt me or make fun of me so writing here I am glad that I can be anonymous, I need help from people that care and this will help me to be honest about this dark place I am in and how I find my way out of it and I can get help from people that want to help me and are like me. I can’t do this alone, I need to talk about it, so here I am.
I have been reading SR for a very long time, and what I have read and learned here so far has helped me to make some changes. I have gone from an everyday evening drinker to sometimes getting 2 days or if I am lucky 3 days without drinking. Then it is back to drinking and back in to that dark place again. I am in the worst physical and mental state that I have ever been in, and I have to break free of drinking alcohol so I can start to live again. I really am so tired of this. I want to be able to think clearly again, to have hope, to love the life I am living, not just getting through the day, not enjoying my life, but wasting it.
It is drink o’clock, but I am not going to drink today. I am tired and I have wasted yet another day with no motivation because of last nights drinking. I want out of this hell hole. It has taken me over an hour to write this, my brain just doesn't work anymore, this has to change.
didit
When I make mistakes in my life or I share my feelings, there are a few people in my life that sometimes throw it back at me and use my vulnerability to hurt me or make fun of me so writing here I am glad that I can be anonymous, I need help from people that care and this will help me to be honest about this dark place I am in and how I find my way out of it and I can get help from people that want to help me and are like me. I can’t do this alone, I need to talk about it, so here I am.
I have been reading SR for a very long time, and what I have read and learned here so far has helped me to make some changes. I have gone from an everyday evening drinker to sometimes getting 2 days or if I am lucky 3 days without drinking. Then it is back to drinking and back in to that dark place again. I am in the worst physical and mental state that I have ever been in, and I have to break free of drinking alcohol so I can start to live again. I really am so tired of this. I want to be able to think clearly again, to have hope, to love the life I am living, not just getting through the day, not enjoying my life, but wasting it.
It is drink o’clock, but I am not going to drink today. I am tired and I have wasted yet another day with no motivation because of last nights drinking. I want out of this hell hole. It has taken me over an hour to write this, my brain just doesn't work anymore, this has to change.
didit
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
You can be anonymous and you can have faith in our wonderful members to be supportive of you. This is a safe place.
Getting past Day 3 is often difficult, because it's at that point that you start feeling good again and your AV will be making itself known. You can be the person you want to be by getting and staying sober.
Getting past Day 3 is often difficult, because it's at that point that you start feeling good again and your AV will be making itself known. You can be the person you want to be by getting and staying sober.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,536
Wonderful to have you with us, Didit. I was a talker for a long time - but now thanks to participating here, I have 12 yrs. sober. I was reluctant to post at first, but soon it became natural and a regular part of my life. I couldn't imagine a day without SR & the encouragement I've found here. You are definitely on your way to a better life. Be proud of yourself for taking action. We will always be here to listen and help if we can.
I was a talker for a long time - but now thanks to participating here, I have 12 yrs. sober. I was reluctant to post at first, but soon it became natural and a regular part of my life. I couldn't imagine a day without SR & the encouragement I've found here. You are definitely on your way to a better life. Be proud of yourself for taking action. We will always be here to listen and help if we can.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 568
I wasted so many days to because of feeling bad from a hangover. I'm 2 1/2 years sober. I come here just about every day to read and sometimes post and chat with friends I have made thru the years. I couldn't have done it without SR! Welcome!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 68
Thank you for the warm welcomes. I didit today. I ate an early dinner and watched the movie Seven Pounds and cried at the end. It felt good to feel a real cry and not a mind altered feeling. Thank you for being here, I am going to be sticking around.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London, England
Posts: 7,057
Originally Posted by didit4meXO 
Thank you for the warm welcomes. I didit today. I ate an early dinner and watched the movie Seven Pounds and cried at the end. It felt good to feel a real cry and not a mind altered feeling. Thank you for being here, I am going to be sticking around.
Cravings will obviously come at times, the key is under no circumstances act on them.
Cheering you on.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 68
On to day 2. A rough night sleeping which is to be expected. One thing I notice every time I quit, that sounds so bad saying, each time I quit, because I do plan on making this my last quit and not having to go through this again. One thing I notice is how much my legs jump and hurt, it is like they are rubber bands being stretched out till tight then let go to jerk back. It had my hip hurting too with all the tossing back and forth and legs jumping, very restless and the waking up sweating, all though I will say that the weather is very hot, but I know that it was the alcohol trying to get out of my body any way it can.
I also had a strange drinking dream, I never use to have drinking dreams, but this month of May that I have been working to make this work, I’ve noticed so many drinking dreams. It is if my mind and body are having a war inside of me with conflicting interests and needs. In my dream with the drink(s) being brought to me, I was ordering two at a time, instead of one at a time, silly, but the cocktail waitress started drinking one of my drinks and I could see the Covid thoughts blending in to my dream, I did watch the news before bed.
I woke up exhausted, but as a few hours passed, I feel good now, and I am glad that none of that drinking either in real life or dreams happened.
I’ll check in later if I am struggling and also to say at the end of day two that ididit.
A little bird made a nest in my patio and gave birth to some cute fuzzy little babies the other day, there has been so much chirping going on out there, so sweet to hear. The nest is getting some sun and with the heat I hope they will be ok, they have slowed down and don’t sound so perky since it is getting hotter today. We all have our challenges, I hope we all make it.
I am listening to you all, I'll watch for the Av as I feel better, I will make new routines, I'll be proud of my progress, I'll post and I'll talk it out.
I also had a strange drinking dream, I never use to have drinking dreams, but this month of May that I have been working to make this work, I’ve noticed so many drinking dreams. It is if my mind and body are having a war inside of me with conflicting interests and needs. In my dream with the drink(s) being brought to me, I was ordering two at a time, instead of one at a time, silly, but the cocktail waitress started drinking one of my drinks and I could see the Covid thoughts blending in to my dream, I did watch the news before bed.
I woke up exhausted, but as a few hours passed, I feel good now, and I am glad that none of that drinking either in real life or dreams happened.
I’ll check in later if I am struggling and also to say at the end of day two that ididit.
A little bird made a nest in my patio and gave birth to some cute fuzzy little babies the other day, there has been so much chirping going on out there, so sweet to hear. The nest is getting some sun and with the heat I hope they will be ok, they have slowed down and don’t sound so perky since it is getting hotter today. We all have our challenges, I hope we all make it.
I am listening to you all, I'll watch for the Av as I feel better, I will make new routines, I'll be proud of my progress, I'll post and I'll talk it out.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 68
Thank you Anna. I am tired, I am pretty sure I'll sleep tonight, I can barely keep my eyes open.
Another early dinner and I am going to watch a movie, something light hearted so I don't get crazy dreams.
I made some comfort food snacks for dessert so I am looking more forward to dessert in a bit. Looking forward for tomorrow so the holiday is over and it will feel calmer.
Thanks for cheering me on and support, and now I can say that I didit another day.
Another early dinner and I am going to watch a movie, something light hearted so I don't get crazy dreams.
I made some comfort food snacks for dessert so I am looking more forward to dessert in a bit. Looking forward for tomorrow so the holiday is over and it will feel calmer.
Thanks for cheering me on and support, and now I can say that I didit another day.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,848
Welcome to SR didit4meXO!
We would love for you to join us in the class of May, it is fantastic for extra support. Class of May
We would love for you to join us in the class of May, it is fantastic for extra support.
Class of MayMember
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 510
Congrats on day 2 didit! Wishing you all the best. I'm almost at the end of my day two as well. I had the crazy dreams when I quit last year. They were so random but I always ended up drinking in them and waking up so mad at myself. They would just pop up out of nowhere and stopped after a few months. On to Day 3!
Hope
Hope
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
way to go on day two, didit.
and yeah, give yourself something to look forward to each day, or even a few times a day. whether that be dessert, or a phonecall, or a movie, or a walk, or a fresh tomato, or a crossword or planting some seed or...whatever!
carry on
and yeah, give yourself something to look forward to each day, or even a few times a day. whether that be dessert, or a phonecall, or a movie, or a walk, or a fresh tomato, or a crossword or planting some seed or...whatever!
carry on
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