Irritable and restless
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 15
Irritable and restless
Today I'm irritated, restless, can't focus on ****. Ever since I quit drinking I've been ON THE GO. But I can't stop thinking about how enjoyable it'd be to sit back with a couple bottles of red wine, unwind, relax, and let the worries of the world fade away as that glow permeates my body.
But I won't drink today. I'm 10 days sober. This is to be expected. That alcoholic voice in my head reminds me of all the good times but fails to bring up all of the bad it caused me.
The black outs. The phone calls I made with zero recollection of what was talked about the following day. Embarrassing texts. Inappropriate DM's. The shaking hands. The embarrassment of knowing I always reek of the booze that seeps out of the pours of my skin. The going days without shaving. Or, when I lived alone, the days that would go by with garbage piling up, the sink full of dirty dishes, fruit flies buzzing around.
The loss of friendships and relationships.
Always being late with my bills, phone or electricity always being turned off.
Sleeping on a dirty wine and cigarette ash stained mattress with no sheets, piles of dirty clothes on the carpet.
And then hiding the amount I drank from my girlfriend. Getting drunk and falling down one day breaking one of her vases. Getting drunk and falling against the coffee table and lying, saying the dog tripped me.
Being too hungover to go to work and calling in "sick" - "must have been something I ate".
Never EVER driving anywhere without fear of being pulled over for a DWI. Fear of getting injured at work and given a breathalyzer. The nagging fear that I'll eventually die a painful death from liver cancer.
So nah, **** all that. I will not drink today.
But I won't drink today. I'm 10 days sober. This is to be expected. That alcoholic voice in my head reminds me of all the good times but fails to bring up all of the bad it caused me.
The black outs. The phone calls I made with zero recollection of what was talked about the following day. Embarrassing texts. Inappropriate DM's. The shaking hands. The embarrassment of knowing I always reek of the booze that seeps out of the pours of my skin. The going days without shaving. Or, when I lived alone, the days that would go by with garbage piling up, the sink full of dirty dishes, fruit flies buzzing around.
The loss of friendships and relationships.
Always being late with my bills, phone or electricity always being turned off.
Sleeping on a dirty wine and cigarette ash stained mattress with no sheets, piles of dirty clothes on the carpet.
And then hiding the amount I drank from my girlfriend. Getting drunk and falling down one day breaking one of her vases. Getting drunk and falling against the coffee table and lying, saying the dog tripped me.
Being too hungover to go to work and calling in "sick" - "must have been something I ate".
Never EVER driving anywhere without fear of being pulled over for a DWI. Fear of getting injured at work and given a breathalyzer. The nagging fear that I'll eventually die a painful death from liver cancer.
So nah, **** all that. I will not drink today.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
So nah, **** all that. I will not drink today.
I am not good at multitasking. Try as I might, I can't be irritable and restless at the same time as being gratefull. I like the way grateful makes me feel, so I usually default to thinking about how enjoyable it'd be to sit back sober, unwind, relax, and let the worries of the world fade away as that glow permeates my body.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 637
Originally Posted by Jttx81 
Today I'm irritated, restless, can't focus on ****. Ever since I quit drinking I've been ON THE GO. But I can't stop thinking about how enjoyable it'd be to sit back with a couple bottles of red wine, unwind, relax, and let the worries of the world fade away as that glow permeates my body.
But I won't drink today. I'm 10 days sober. This is to be expected. That alcoholic voice in my head reminds me of all the good times but fails to bring up all of the bad it caused me.
The black outs. The phone calls I made with zero recollection of what was talked about the following day. Embarrassing texts. Inappropriate DM's. The shaking hands. The embarrassment of knowing I always reek of the booze that seeps out of the pours of my skin. The going days without shaving. Or, when I lived alone, the days that would go by with garbage piling up, the sink full of dirty dishes, fruit flies buzzing around.
The loss of friendships and relationships.
Always being late with my bills, phone or electricity always being turned off.
Sleeping on a dirty wine and cigarette ash stained mattress with no sheets, piles of dirty clothes on the carpet.
And then hiding the amount I drank from my girlfriend. Getting drunk and falling down one day breaking one of her vases. Getting drunk and falling against the coffee table and lying, saying the dog tripped me.
Being too hungover to go to work and calling in "sick" - "must have been something I ate".
Never EVER driving anywhere without fear of being pulled over for a DWI. Fear of getting injured at work and given a breathalyzer. The nagging fear that I'll eventually die a painful death from liver cancer.
So nah, **** all that. I will not drink today.
But I won't drink today. I'm 10 days sober. This is to be expected. That alcoholic voice in my head reminds me of all the good times but fails to bring up all of the bad it caused me.
The black outs. The phone calls I made with zero recollection of what was talked about the following day. Embarrassing texts. Inappropriate DM's. The shaking hands. The embarrassment of knowing I always reek of the booze that seeps out of the pours of my skin. The going days without shaving. Or, when I lived alone, the days that would go by with garbage piling up, the sink full of dirty dishes, fruit flies buzzing around.
The loss of friendships and relationships.
Always being late with my bills, phone or electricity always being turned off.
Sleeping on a dirty wine and cigarette ash stained mattress with no sheets, piles of dirty clothes on the carpet.
And then hiding the amount I drank from my girlfriend. Getting drunk and falling down one day breaking one of her vases. Getting drunk and falling against the coffee table and lying, saying the dog tripped me.
Being too hungover to go to work and calling in "sick" - "must have been something I ate".
Never EVER driving anywhere without fear of being pulled over for a DWI. Fear of getting injured at work and given a breathalyzer. The nagging fear that I'll eventually die a painful death from liver cancer.
So nah, **** all that. I will not drink today.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Keep listening, learning, absorbing and applying new healthy
recovery tools to your everyday life on a continuous bases to
achieve many of lifes amazing blessings and gifts like so many
of us are already enjoying each day when living a life in recovery.
One day at a time you go walking side by side with many
of us here in SR.
recovery tools to your everyday life on a continuous bases to
achieve many of lifes amazing blessings and gifts like so many
of us are already enjoying each day when living a life in recovery.
One day at a time you go walking side by side with many
of us here in SR.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
You're doing amazing by reaching 10 days - the first part is the hardest BY FAR, and you're moving through it. Keep those awful memories top of mind, especially whenever your AV suggests a "harmless" (HA!) drink. One of the things that really helped me early on was to flat-out refuse to entertain romantic thoughts of drinking, I would even say "NO" out loud whenever it happened, and I would immediately do what you did, which is skip ahead to the horribly bleak place that alcohol takes us. Believing that we're depriving ourselves from a lovely, relaxing experience is such a destructive myth, you know?
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Are you working on a program of recovery? You may want to look into the programs that are available such as Men for Sobriety, (Women for Sobriety), LifeRing, SOS, Refuge Recovery, AVRT, SMART, AA.
Congrats on 11 days of sobriety!!!
Congrats on 11 days of sobriety!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: DFW area, Texas
Posts: 521
Congrats on 10 days...that's around the timeframe when I feel a real transition going on with my brain (some good vibes and of course some bad vibes like the ones you mention). Keep up the great work!!
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