Mags1

Welcome to the Weekenders
FOMO Do you feel like you’re missing out not drinking? We’ve had this topic before, but with today’s climate in the world it can be easy to feel that we are missing out on everything.ÂÂ

When I stopped drinking I realised I had to keep away from anything or anyone that I thought would tempt me to drink. I hadn’t enough sober muscles yet.
I recall one Christmas when 6 months sober a few work colleagues went out for drinks, I really wanted to go but I feared I would have a drink forced on me and not be able to say no, or even worse they’d spike my orange juice, so I refrained from going.ÂÂ
For days after at work they talked of their Christmas after work do, which spread into the evening. I really felt like I’dÂÂ ÂÂ missed out on a good night and isolated at work.
When I put things into perspective I realised I was still sober, I wasn’t hung over all weekend as I heard the stories unfold and I could hold my head up. If I had gone there’d have been stories of how drunk I had gotten, I’d have been embarrassed for another week.
Phew, I didn’t miss out after all!
I had a clear conscience, had a sober and productive weekend, maybe considered boring by others but for me, I kept my promise to myself, to stay sober.
Nowadays I wouldn’t want to go on a boozy night out at any cost. Drunks aren’t that funny, they repeat themselves and things are often said that would be regretted later.ÂÂ
FOMO? No chance!


Of course you may be like myself and having to stay put to be safe. It’s what we need to do and remind ourselves that everything comes to pass, we’re all in this boat in choppy waters. Have faith in the knowledge that it will pass and the waters will become still again.ÂÂ
If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. (We’re here all week too!)

andyh

thanks Mags. hope your jabs go okay.

Reid82

Thanks Mags, shotgun for the weekend ride!

Dee74

thanks mags

freedomfries

Thanks Mags. Happy weekend

I'm not sure I'll ever not feel FOMO, but it's only day 2. I'm sure with some months sober I'll realize all the things I've been missing out on by drinking

Mags1

Congratulations on shotgun Reid!


I did it! I did the injections. Yaaaaaay. I feel really grown up, well for a minute or two.

Cityboy

"things are often said that would be regretted later." - Yep, I was bad about saying terribly inappropriate things the last couple of years of my drinking career. Now it seems so silly when my friends are sending text messages back and forth in the evening and someone is obviously drinking.

harriet11

Thanks for the new thread Mags. And well done on the injections

Be123

Thanks Mags - this is a very timely topic for me as tomorrow is my first social thing in the ten weeks I've been sober. Our road is doing a socially distant street party for VE Day and my neighbour is preparing the bar, the drinks, "is going to be out there all day" and reminded me earlier of the 'brilliant party' we had about ten years ago when we all got smashed.

I am not going to drink, that isn't a worry for me, but I do feel a bit anxious about being around alcohol. I am limiting the time I will be involved and also we have to keep our distance so I have an easy way out away from alcohol. And I am cooking some nice food on a BBQ which always helps.
Just sharing, no panic, no need for anyone to do anything, just putting it out there

Surrendered19

Thanks Mags. Great topic.

MLD51

Thanks. Mags. Glad your jabs went well!
FOMO. I felt it a lot at the beginning. Every once in a great while I still feel it, when my man friend is meeting up with some of our friends and I'm left out (mostly by my choice) because mostly what they will be doing is hanging out and drinking. But I'm not missing the drinking, just the laughs and fun. Don't get me wrong, I still have laughs and fun. It's just a little different now. (Man friend drinks but respects my sobriety immensely, so we manage. He drinks very little in my presence, and I can handle that just fine.)

I used to wonder how people got so much done around their houses on the weekends. I figured most people hired people to come and mow their lawns, rake leaves, wash windows, etc. Because I never had time for that kind of stuff. I managed the bare minimum when I was still drinking. But guess what? When you are not spending the weekend drinking and recovering, there's time for all of that! With time leftover for some fun, too! There's such a sense of satisfaction when I get things accomplished that I used to sort of think about doing. I'd much rather have that satisfaction than go out and party all weekend and regret so many things. Maybe it looks boring to other people, but they are the people who are doing what I used to do. I don't find it boring. I finally feel like a responsible adult at age almost 57, and it's about time!

Cityboy

"When you are not spending the weekend drinking and recovering, there's time for all of that! With time leftover for some fun, too! There's such a sense of satisfaction when I get things accomplished that I used to sort of think about doing. I'd much rather have that satisfaction than go out and party all weekend and regret so many things."

^ This.

Since I quit in January there have been so many things accomplished at home.

Hawkeye13

Me too. I think I am going to get many projects done this Summer that have been delayed two decades. That will make a great July 13 one year continuous sobriety reboot gift to myself.
I find myself looking forward to each sober day. I literally feel anticipation to wake up and jump into what the morning brings. No more hangovers and regrets. Just positive actions towards long delayed goals. . .

MLD51

I cleaned out my garage a few weeks ago, and every time I go in there, or pull my car in, it's such a feeling of accomplishment and almost pride. It's not a showcase yet, there is still some stuff I need to dispose of that could not go into the dumpster, but it SO MUCH better, and I don't feel embarrassed by the mess when the door is open anymore. There are other similar, smaller projects I have done or am doing to make my home a nice place to be, and not something that causes me anxiety. One thing at a time, my life is falling into order. There will always be things that happen that are out of my control, but if I take care of the the things I CAN control, when the uncontrollable does happen, I'm in a much better position overall to deal with it. If that makes sense.

biminiblue

Since I quit I have not really suffered from FOMO about drinking very often.

I was seriously DONE.


Nothing there for me anymore, at all.


I just ease past people who could be dangerous or annoying these days.

MLD51

That poor dog!!

biminiblue

He/she (the dog) was just being respectful! I imagine the dog learned that through instinct and experience. The kitty didn't take a serious swipe.

Labs are the gentlest, sweetest dogs. Ginger-cats deserve a wide berth! They have very pointy bits...

MLD51

I had a golden/setter mix once who was absolutely terrified of our cat. And the cat was a big blobby neutered male who would actually watch mice cavorting right in front of him in our old drafty farm house without batting an eye or lifting a paw. Not sure what happened between those two that the dog was so afraid of him. Currently, one of my cats and my dog are mortal enemies, and have been since day 1. They growl, bark, hiss, yowl. The other cat and the dog get along fine. It's so weird.

saoutchik

I'm in!
Thank you Mags, glad the injections went OK.
Congratulations on shotgun Reid.
Mostly being older is pants but when it comes to missing out I am sort of glad I am not from the generation that relies so much on social media in that regard. I think I would suffer real anxiety if I was still a teenager or in my early 20's. Us drinkers get things the wrong way round as it is the booze (and hangovers afterwards) that cause the missing out, not the other way around.

andyh

Happy Friday! I know it's Thursday, but we have a public holiday tomorrow, so it's an honorary Friday today as far as I'm concerned.


sourdough watch: my starter has actually risen today for the first time, after ~a week, so I might actually be able to make some bread over the weekend. on the upside, feeding it every day has made a dent in my huge bag of flour.



hope everyone is staying safe & well.