pcraig71

Hello. I have struggled with liquor most of my adult life. I am not an everyday drinker or even any every weekend drinker, although I use to be. The problem is now that when I drink, I can't stop once I start. I am a binge drinker. It has been several weekends since I drank, but I did yesterday. Started late afternoon at a party and went home alone and drank until sunrise. Somewhere around 26 beers in one sitting. With every beer I want to stop and it be the last, but I generally can't stop until I drink everything in the house or on the verge of passing out. I am so tired of this. I have to do something. It is all or nothing with me and drinking, so I have decided it will be nothing.
When I was younger I had severe social anxiety and drank to overcome my fears before a social event. That led to me drinking around 5 and 6 nights a week all through my 20's. Even several DUI's wouldn't stop me. Now, in my 40's I can go weeks before drinking, but as I said that when I do drink, I go way overboard. I can't sip one or 2 drinks, something is triggered and I must guzzle the swill. And now today, after drinking for 14 plus hours straight, I am stuck in bed sick. Tomorrow I will go into work, still sick. With some lie about why I am so out of it. I will start feeling normal on Wednesday. I'm tired.

itsmaria

Hi pcraig71 I'm sorry you're struggling, but glad you're here. I'm a binge drinker too, although with me my binges got more frequent.
I don't know what to say, except this is a very good site with a lot of good people & support. Take care.

Anna

Welcome!
When you can't stop drinking once you start, it's a big problem. And, it leads to great frustration and disappointment in yourself that you can't stop.
The simple, but not easy, fix is to not start drinking. The next time you get a craving to drink, don't pick up that first drink. Try to come up with a plan for what you can do to distract yourself when you get that urge.
I'm glad you posted.

Surrendered19

Welcome to SR pcraig. I hope you can be done. This is a great site and collectively we have seen it all and drank it all. You don't ever have to feel like this again. Get to work tomorrow and stay hydrated. Make it through and then do some work on a plan for when the cravings come. What makes you start thinking about a binge? If it is weekends, parties, social events, let's perhaps restructure those things coming up and even avoid get-togethers if they open the door for a binge. I hope you feel better soon.

least

Welcome to the family. It is hard at first to stop drinking but it gets easier the longer you stay sober. If you get the urge to drink, come here and post about it instead of drinking. We'll try to talk you out of it.

I didn't think I could stop drinking either but I did, over 10 yrs ago. Every night when I go to bed, I give thanks for another day sober. It was hard at first but I'm glad I put in the effort.

Tryharder2

Welcome Craig, in the exact same cycle of binging here too and like you I am sick of it. This place is a great resource and everyone is very supportive. Why not join the class of May where there are others trying to get sober at the same time? It’s helpful to be able to chat with others on the same part of the journey and it’s definitely helped me get to day 3. Hope to see you around and all the best.

AAPJ

Hi Pcraig,There are many different ways alcohol problems express themselves. For me in the end I was an every day drinker. And for you it's not every day but it sure can cause problems. We both have a place here. Welcome.

Reid82

Hello and welcome to SR. I was the same, a bad binge drinker. I could stop for months at a time but then would go on titanic benders. Like you, drinking 12-14 hours in a day easily and being sick for days at a time after it. You can break that cycle now.

DriGuy

I was a daily drinker. I would start drinking right after work. I'd be pouring a drink before I even took off my coat, so I avoided cravings. If I didn't drink right away, cravings would set in, and I'd always give in. Once I had that first drink, always with the best of intentions, I would just keep pouring them until I couldn't drink anymore.
As pointed out, you must avoid that first drink, and that is forever, because one drink leads to the next. Sure the cravings will drive you nuts for the first few days, but then they diminish, and you are then in control, as long as you don't pick up that first drink. Does this sound overwhelming? It can be done, and eventually you won't even think about a drink.
As far as I know, this is the only cure. Hang onto your chair for a few days, and then choose never to pick up a drink. You will eventually feel so normal you will think that you can handle one drink, but you won't. Recovery is a life sentence, but one which you can enjoy more that you think is possible.

brighterday1234

There is a solution. A sober life is entirely possible. Commit to not drinking one day at a time and stick to SR. AA has great recovery program too.

pcraig71

Thank you all for taking the time out to reply. I have been doing well since I made this thread. The MAIN thing that keeps me from drinking would be the horrendous hangovers that I now suffer through in my 40's. I had one last year that almost sent me to the hospital. I never want to feel that way again. Why do we deliberately poison ourselves?

PMAZ

One of the things that kept me drinking for so long is that I rarely feel a hangover. Not sure why. 5 years of elevated liver enzymes and no real hangovers. It’s a recipe for a lot of self-denial. At least you have that horrible day after that you know is coming. Embrace it.

least

I'm glad you're doing well in your sobriety. Getting sober didn't solve all my problems, but it solved the biggest one.

TiredCarpenter

pcraig71: I hear you.

49 years old

6 impaired driving charges, a few nights in the drunk tank, many humiliating moments.

The complete and utter loss of any esteem I’ve ever had....

I drank just like you described. Once started, I would drink ALL of it for days.

The good:
‘Like you, I got tired. Ready to be done with it.

Reaching out here and sharing from my heart made all the difference. Trusting others with my feelings.

There are the AA tools of course. ( I’m sure you’ve been)
‘A world of tools wouldn’t help me until I started listening to what was going on in my heart. Tired, sad, broken...ready for a change...

I’m thrilled, now, to say that I’m 49 days sober. Today was a great day. Relaxing, fun, calm, safe, happy.

Glad you are here with us! Stick around, post often.

A lot of good support here.



​​​​​​​

anxiousrock

Wow. I have been in the same binge cycle as you for the past 7 years or so. Its on and off, but more on.
I feel for you because I know how bad it is.

pcraig71

I remember reading once in a book, I think it was actually Jimmy Buffet that said it, "The hangovers started to feel like recovering from surgery, that is when I knew it was time to quit."

Surrendered19

I'm glad you are doing well pcraig. Being sober is so much more simple. And I'm here to tell you not to test the theory of progressively worsening hangovers as we age. I had them until my mid-50's and they just get worse and worse. Soul crushing and ultimately life threatening. I am healthy now but drinking so long has done some permanent damage and I think that last 5 years really took its toll. Trust me on those things, stay quit and let's live as healthy as we can from here on.