Stylz

I found out back in January that my boyfriend of almost 3 years has been smoking crack for awhile now.
all he does is promise things that doesn’t hold true, and lies daily.
He blames me for everything.
I used to be happy go lucky, great self esteem.....now I just keep my mouth shut I’m depressed all the time.
I know what the problem is.....I need to let him go. I can’t help him, but I love him.

nikegoddess112

Nar-Anon can help you recover.https://www.nar-anon.org/

Online meetings are available.

Dee74

Hi and welcome stylz
I'm sorry for what brings you here but you will find a lot of support and understanding here.
I think if you think you need to let him go, that's your answer.
Some loves are not forever y'know - especially if this one is eating you up?
D

Surrendered19

Mouth shut and depressed is no way to live life and certainly no way that the person you love should make you feel. I would break it off for now if you can do that safely. It doesn't have to be forever. He'll whale and cry and curse the gods, but until he shows you the respect you deserve, don't waste any more time on him. Us addicts are experts at spreading misery, self doubt and destroying peoples' trust and confidence in us and themselves. You don't have to live like that.

Anna

Your instinct that's telling you to let him go is right. Of course, it will hurt because breakups are always painful. But, I suspect you will find that you feel more like your old self before too long.

nez

Letting go of him would be a loving act. Most people don't change until they have lost enough things from their life that they finally one day say that's it no more, I can't lose anything else, I must change.

It will hurt and be painful, but let him lose you. It will also be a loving act to yourself. You deserve his best, not his worst.

teatreeoil007

I'm impressed you recognized the above in yourself and came here to articulate it. Good on you. What you wrote above just says it all, doesn't it? You don't really recognize yourself anymore...you are not free to be the you you should be. These are some of the main signs you are in an abusive relationship. Now, when many folks think of abuse they think of black eyes, broken bones, etc. But emotional and verbal abuse can work badly on your self esteem!! There are many on line questionarres you can take about whether or not you are in an abusive relationship. From what little you have written here, I'd say you are. So, take care of yourself.Â

teatreeoil007

I'm just going to add a little more. This caught my eye partly because I see it as a red flag when a typically happy go lucky open person becomes too quiet, doesn't seem to interact like they used to and it's literally like they have just "shut up". There can be many reasons for this, but depression is a big reason. I once had a co worker who always seemed to be light hearted and on top become withdrawn, closed mouth, flat affect and then I also noticed weight loss. I thought to myself, "Something's not right". But, I didn't feel free to voice this to him. I don't know how he ended up as I quit working there and haven't seen him since. I just remember thinking that he had changed somehow. I don't know if it was just plain depression of relationship problems or what. But when you feel these changes within yourself and you know what you need to do, listen you your instincts. Crack is a wicked, possessive mistress.

least

Welcome to the family. I agree that you deserve better from a mate who is supposed to love you. I had a boyfriend like that once, and I still loved him, but eventually let him go and it did wonders for my self esteem. Change can hurt at first, but you deserve better.