SnoozyQ

Hi, I’m really struggling at the moment and just looking for a bit of support.
Just when you think you have all your ducks in a row, that AV sits on your shoulder.
I haven’t had a drink for a year and a half and this past week I keep thinking, what does in matter, one won’t hurt
BUT IT WILL. I know this and know how it ends when I play the tape forward.
I’m seeing my doctor tomorrow so I just need to get these thoughts out of my mind. 24 hours is a long time when you are doing it minute by minute.
Thanks for listening, I hope writing it down and being accountable will help because I know picking up a bottle won’t.
Love to all xxxxx

Mags1

Snoozy love we’ve got your back. Always here for you xxYou’ve had a lot on your plate this year and you know the AV calls when we’re at our lowest. I’m glad you’re reaching out love. xx

Anna

Snoozy, I'm so glad you posted. It's tough when there are really hard days to get through, but you're doing it. And, we're here for you.

SnoozyQ

Thanks so much Anna & Mags, that means a lot to me xx

Anna

You're doing great!

Awake61

the av does like it when we're low. But you are not going to drink, because you know what always happens...

venuscat

Oh, so I was chatting to you on Messenger and did not see this. s

Love you honey...good to talk about it.....we are all struggling here I think. xxxxxxxx

Aellyce

I'm not sure what stage you are at with your sobriety (sorry), SnoozyQ, but I get the occasional urges even after years. The mental exercise that helps me the most is contrasting sharply all the good things, including mental balance and stability, that I've achieved in sobriety with the extremely transient (a couple hours max), superficial and eventually unsatisfying pleasure drinking could give, focusing on this until the urge has passed. I guess that's what some call urge surfing or playing the tape through. I'm always amazed at how good the gratefulness and certainty about my good choice makes me feel, once the craving has subsided.

venuscat

PS....and hello dear Aellyce s

I meant struggling due to the virus and a lot of difficult emotional stuff. s

saoutchik

All the best Snoozy. There are fewer distractions around under lockdown conditions which doesn't help. Maybe doing a task you have put off for a while will get you through it.
Good luck at the doctors tomorrow, you definitely don't want to be going there after drinking.

Be123

Hi SnoozyQ. Congrats on your sober time, that's brilliant.

Im just getting used to emotions. 20 years sunk in a bottle and now at 8 weeks sober they're coming back and they're real. Here's my amazing wisdom I've gained that I just shared with my monthly group:

Emotions - they go up and down!

I really should trademark that level of wisdom
and insight...!!!!!!

But seriously, you know feeling low will pass. I don't think you are seriously considering drinking but if you did drink then (for me at least) it would NOT pass until things had got a lot, lot worse.

Keep going, a day is a day

venuscat

I think Snoozy went to sleep. Which is good, after 3 in the morning there.

aasharon90

Folks that let go of their recovery support lines and go solo more than likely go back to the insanity of their addiction of drinking or drugs again.
Folks like you, me, us who have the courage and willingness to reach out for help will recieve it. Then, it will become easier and easier down the road when our a/v wants to talk to us begging usto give in.
The past few days here the weather has been super nice. Allowing me to want to stay outside more working with my flowers. Then, that little voice popped in reminding me how nice it would be to sit back with a cold glass of red wine.
Yep....folks with all kinds of sobriety and recovery time behind them, including me, are still tempted by devil alcohol.
Because I am and always will be an alcoholic in recovery and alcohol will always be a force to wreckon with. However, I have this recovery foundation I built one day at a time with a guideline to incorporate in my daily life and prayers and SR.
If I lot go of any of those vital tools in my life and recovery, then.....i'll be in big trouble.
Sooooo glad you reached out for help and never hesitate to ask anytime you need it. SR will always have your back.
All you sisters and brothers in recovery love, care, understand and support you.

venuscat

Awesome post dear Sharon and hello love. s xx

thomas11

As someone who just got done kicking my own butt out of my 3 days of stupidity, you are right, it is not worth it. In fact its horrible.

Reid82

Good job in posting before you have that first drink down your throat. It is too late at that point and good to see you're going to the doctor aswell.
A drink isn't going to solve anything and as you said, you've played the tape forward too. I just have to remind myself of my last bender to keep any "romancing the high" thoughts in check.

Surrendered19

I hope you wake up refreshed, not hung over and well-rested Snoozy. You are supported here and we are all in this together. Awesome that you posted prior to drinking. I don't have anything to say in addition to what aaSharon so beautifully said above. Jeff too has recent experimental evidence that reaffirms for all of us that, to quote Jeff - "it is not worth it. In fact it is horrible."

venuscat

^^^ Big nods. s

SoberLeigh

Here for you, sweet Snooze. These are trying times for all of us. We are navigating new and strange waters and unsettling feelings are plaguing many of us.


Keep talking to us. Go back to the basics; spoil yourself; have some treats; take warm, aromatic baths. Be gentle with yourself.


Remind yourself how very worthy you are of sobriety.


Remind yourself that you are well loved.

Dee74

Hey Snooz
these are hard times...but drinkings not an answer.
It wont help you worry less, it won't solve any of your problems and it won;t make you stronger or more capable - quite the opposite.
A lot of us are dealing with fear right now - fear that, in many cases, won't go away.
Its difficult to accept and to live with, but I believe we can - and there's nothing says you have to do it alone
You know as much as anyone how much BS the AV sells.Its not a road I want any here to walk down again.
I think living with life on life's terms can only make us stronger.
we will get through this
D