Oh where to begin, I guess the very beginning. I meet my ex boyfriend through a dating site. At the time he was newly separated from his wife of 11 years, she moved to California and took their three children with her. We started seeing each other after three weeks of talking online. Things went well in the beginning. I went on a vacation with my sister and her family to Disney World and a Disney Cruise. During that time we still talked and texted every day. He called me upset one day because he “quit” his job - construction - Because the supervisor wanted him to go get an alcohol test because he thought he was under the influence. Red flag I ignored but now recognize. When I got home from my trip we saw each other right oaway. He began to spiral out of control. He lost his truck because he hadn’t made a payment on it in over 4 months. He was huffing air duster and on prescription opioids for back and neck pain due to injuries from combat when he was in the Marine Core. His brother came to town to get him and take him to rehab. I thought at this point I should be down with him. Nope! I got sucked in. He went to rehab and listed me as his emergency contact and the only person any information about his care should be shared to. He got out of rehab after three weeks. I went to get him and take him back to his brother’s house to stay until he figured out life. He relapsed less than two weeks and began huffing again. His brother threw him out and I’m begging him to go back to rehab. He spent the night out on the streets and then finally went back to rehab. He successfully completed rehab and this time came back to the area we lived in and not his brother. His house was destroyed by his roommate. She sold all the appliances and trashed the place. There was no water, electricity, or gas. His insurance policy was cancelled by his wife. He couldn’t stay there, but he couldn’t stay with me so I put him up in a hotel. He took forever to find a job but finally did. His house was eventually foreclosed on. When he came out of rehab I told him we shouldn’t drink. He said he didn’t go to rehab because he has a drinking problem it was for the huffing. I eventually caved and we started to drink together. At first I didn’t see any problems, we were just having fun together. We eventually got our own apartment together and that is when I noticed drinking was a problem. We talked about it and he said he would do better. Two weeks after moving in together I found out I was pregnant. We did plan this. I have always wanted children and neither one of us was getting any younger. He stopped taking the prescription opioids because he wasn’t going to the pain clinic anymore. All the guys he worked with were smoking pot so he started to. In the beginning it was just for pain then it became a habit. We started to fight. I had the baby In January of 2019. He never did much to help with our son. He would just drink and smoke weed and pass out. The fighting got worse. I think I developed post partum depression but couldn’t really deal with it. We were fighting every weekend. I told him almost every week I was done and wanted him out. He had no where to go so he never would leave. He would just say I’ll be out the end of the month. Then he would do something nice and we would be ok for two seconds. The end of this January he went to visit his other children. He told me he was going to be staying at his ex wife’s aunt’s house and ended up staying with his children and her-they live with her parents and siblings. The kids sleep on pull out couches. He was supposed to come home on a Thursday but missed his flight because his daughter couldn’t say goodbye. He hadn’t seen the kids since April of 2018. When he came back he had an epiphany out in California that he was on the road to killing himself with his alcohol and drug use. He wanted to take time to work on him. He said he was moving out the end of the month but didn’t know where he would be going. I said fine because we were not working and it is not a good situation for our baby who is now 1. The next day the baby is playing with his phone when a text comes in from his ex wife. He was going back to her. I called him out on his lies and he said he was going back to California to take care of the kids because she had a new orders in another part of California. He said he fell back in love with her. I was done with him at that point. I threw him out. He did not go willingly. He blames me for everything, including his drinking. This was on February 5th. He left our area on February 15th for California. He harassed me via text and calling before he left but never came to see his son before he left. I hired an attorney and have filed for full legal and physical custody of our son and child support. Our court date was supposed to be tomorrow but thanks to corona virus it’s postponed indefinitely. I’m seeing a therapist to help me get through this. She recommended this site to me. Some days are harder than others. I don’t know why it hurts so much still. He has only checked in our son once since leaving. He says he is going to fight me for custody. I’m hoping the judge gives him nothing. He wants to be able to take him to California but my attorney says that won’t happen since he is so young. Does anyone is else have any experience with this?

Thank you for your very supportive words. I sobbed like a baby but it was what I needed to read/hear. I just got my copy of Co-Dependent No More on Friday. I am not that far into it yet as I spend most of my time chasing around my 15 month old trying to keep him out of trouble.

Today is a hard day for me because it was supposed to be the status hearing for the custody and support. I have no idea when it will be now because the courts are on a very limited docket due to the corona virus.

Thank you again for your words of support.

Thank you for your words of support. I am not to worried about him getting custody but I worry about visitation. In the almost three years that I was with him he saw his other children twice. Both times were a year and a half or more. I do not want that for my son. I have no idea which way the court will go on visitation but my lawyer said we are going to fight for him to have to pass drug tests and for him to only be allowed supervised visitation. If he could get his life together, I would love for my son to have a father. I just don’t see that happening though.