Newbeginning421

So today is 30 days of booze and friend is going to be stopping by nyc to take care of something. He has a house in a pretty remote place so would not be stuck in this tiny apartment all day and would be able to get fresh air. Also a good friend and we get a long great so would be fun. Only thing is he is even a wilder drinker than I am. Which when I say that to people who know me in real life their mouths drop! While I am probably going to go figure I would get some opinions here first.

itsmaria

Does your friend know you don't want to drink? Will he want you to join him? Can you be around him and not drink if he does it?

Bilr44

For me it might be too early because of the peer pressure. I am trying to keep myself in safer situations because I only have 45 days. But then eventually we will all be put to the test.

Surrendered19

An easy way to go and have some fun would be to level with your friend ahead of time. Tell him you don't drink anymore and that he needs to hold you to account and that if you start drinking with him over the weekend, it will be devastating to your health.

If he is a good friend and will respect that, my vote is to go. But if he wants a drinking buddy, I would stay home, because you are already clearly conflicted and my guess is planning to drink.

If he and you are in it together with all eyes open, then I think you are safe.

Reid82

Well done on a month sober. Protect yourself and your recovery first of all. I know it would be nice to go and get out too but maybe think of the bigger picture. You will probably find it easier to say 'no' when you're stronger and longer down the road. Good luck with whatever you choose though.

Dee74

Hey NC

reading between the lines I reckon you know exactly what its going to be like.
Stay home and stay sober, man.

D

crown86

Newbeginning421

I only have 2 weeks and nothing has happened yet with my fishing crew due to Covid. I do plan to avoid a few guys this season when Covid breaks. Not because I don't like them but I figure 1. the will annoy the **** out of me sober and 2. I don't want to be tempted. I told the rest of my good friends I quit and an honest explanation why. I told them so I would be held accountable and look and feel like a real ****** if I say **** IT.

It's nice to get out...good luck

Newbeginning421

Thanks for the responses! He never pressures me to drink or anything. Just can't imagine it not happening at some point though. He hasn't been drinking the last few weeks so will make up my mind tonight whether I will go as he will be in city tomorrow.

Rsanchez920

But that's just from my experience... The few times ive gone into similar situations with drinking friends ive always relapsed. Then after i wished i would have had serious time under my belt and been stronger before going...

Anna

Aren't we supposed to be 'staying home'?

soupcon

It is way too soon to put yourself in such a precarious situation. Stay home, stay sober.

Newbeginning421

Well we are both in our 30s and he lives in middle of nowhere so much easier to stay there and isolate then where I am now. i know I am not sick as have not left the house in week and a half. So not like we will be cruising around town or anything

Dee74

I agree with Anna on the isolation thing - aren't you in NY?

I only have a small apartment too but it is what it is.

I'm not only staying home for myself - I'm staying home for everyone else's benefit too.

Also...you may be well but what about your friend and all the people he's been in contact with?

Its great you've hit 30 days but I want you to hit 60 and then 90 too.

You're thinking about making a whole heap of bad decisions IMO.

D

Newbeginning421

I am also thinking about my mom who is in her 60s and obese who i have been staying with. Less risky for her being alone than two of us here. Getting into a car and going back to his place is not risky as we won't be interacting with others.

suki44883

Do you know everyone your friend has been exposed to over the past two weeks? You would be putting yourself in all kinds of possible danger...the chance of relapse and the chance of being infected, then taking that infection back to your mother. In my opinion, you should just stay home.

Dee74

C'mon man.

I wouldn't like the possibility of bring something back to your mom. I also wouldn't like leaving my mom alone right now.

It's not a risky situation if you stay there where you are - you said you haven't left the house for a week and a half.

Most of us have rationalised a get away like this.
You can't BS champion BSers, man

If you go you're going to drink.

D

Willow00

Newbeginning, I totally agree with everything Dee said here.

I can tell myself complete BS stories and convince myself I believe them, when deep down I know it’s really the AV setting me up to drink.

And you said it yourself
“just can’t imagine it not happening at some point though”.

The fact that you’re posting about it means that a little part of you, your authentic real self, doesn’t want you to go, because it knows the risks. The AV is trying to get you to go because once there, half it’s battle is won. It wants you to drink. But the real you knows that going is a bad idea. Don’t listen to the AV, it just wants a drink. The real YOU doesn’t want a drink.

Newbeginning421

Well that is the whole point would be gone for a month or so. So i would not be taking it back to her. The ride back would be tricky though.

Bilr44

least

A lot of rationalizing going on there. You asked the question but said you would likely go. I'm among those who say, don't go. Your friend can put off the visit for a while. We're supposed to stay home and isolate, not be around people who have been ? wherever.

I hope you do the sensible thing and cancel the outing and tell your friend it's not wise nowadays to do this type of thing.