Today is hard

Old 03-28-2020, 07:44 AM
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Today is hard

I feel so depressed today. I’m not sure why. Maybe because we are trapped inside and aren’t allowed to go anywhere. But it’s a hard day. I miss him. Not drunk him. Just him. I miss my house. I miss my stuff. My parents have been so supportive but it’s hard living with someone else. It’s not my house. It’s not my dishes. Nothing is mine. I know that may sound stupid. But today just hurts. I wonder what he’s doing. I wonder does he miss me. Gosh it hurts. I feel so alone today.
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Old 03-28-2020, 08:41 AM
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kc...….of course it hurts...and, of course, you are going to go through missing the things that have been familiar for so long. This is normal and expected.
It is o.k. to miss those things and to admit it. It is o.k. to even cry about it....to even cry, a lot.
This is a stage of the grieving process. You will be grieving...and, going through various stages of grieving for a while....But, it won't always feel like this, and, it won't be forever.....
I call it the Short-term pain for the Long-term gain.....
This is why it is so important to try to stay, as much as possible, considering that you are grieving....to stay in the present and just try to get from one day to the other...(one day at a time)…..

How about making a list of all the things that you can look forward to....
Think about what you would like your new normal to look like.....
A good way to stop thinking about the past is to start thinking about the future....

Yes, it IS hard living in someone else's space....and, cooped up with children, to boot....I think that so many are in that situation, now.....we are all having a hard time with this virus thing.....
It won't be forever, though....
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Old 03-28-2020, 08:51 AM
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Does he miss you, well he has his Mom to complain to now. You know, the way he treated you is really not right, please keep that uppermost in your mind.

Being confined right now is really awful for you. Do try to get out as much as possible though, walks outside (keep your distance Whatever you can do that makes you feel free and uplifts your spirits a bit.

What is your plan? Do you plan on getting a place of your own, does your house need to be sold first or anything? Why is he sitting in your place while you are at your parents, can he not go live with his Mom? Sorry if you have gone over these details before, I can't remember.

Her opening your mail is a huge indicator of what she is like, total lack of respect.

I'm so glad you are not having to work side by side with her anymore.

Does he miss you? In his own way probably. However, that doesn't change anything. She says he is sober, I wouldn't bet any money on that.

Keep doing what you are doing but please take time for yourself and taking care of yourself, go for those walks, listen to your favourite music or watch your favourite programs, read what you like to read, eat what you like to eat!
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Old 03-28-2020, 10:04 AM
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kc

I am here right with you. I read some of your past threads, I can relate. It sucks and for me, I am terrible at pulling out of it when I let it take over (the pain, regret, memories etc....). I have taken to sit ups today and at around 60 already, but if I was true to myoriginal intent of: 10 situps everytime I think of XAW I should be at 10,000 already and I woke up 2 hours ago!!!!!

What are your plans for the day? Are you reading anything, making something for lunch, working out? I have started some of my own personal work in the last couple days as I have recently gone NC and hoping to get onto healing.

Anyway, I am around posting on the forums and trying to keep my mind out of the depths.

Take care kc
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Old 03-30-2020, 05:42 AM
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Thank you for responding to me. Saturday morning was hard. But I got out of the house and went down to the lake. No one was around. And me and the kids played. It was nice. Every time I get like that I should know his true colors will show. And they did that afternoon. My daughter wanted to see him. She’s not seen him in a while. So she went over there and him and his mom and sister basically hanged up on her and started talking bad about me. And saying I was the reason she wouldn’t come over to see him. And bless her little heart. She stood up to all of them. So needless to say he will probably never get her to go back. They took her phone so she couldn’t text or call me. Because they knew she would want to leave. And they wonder why she don’t want to be around them. Because it’s drama all the time. And they are mean. I wish I could get this custody thing squared away soon. I had being in limbo.
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Old 03-30-2020, 05:50 AM
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kc, the custody thing will be a great thing to have behind you. Helping your daughter build and maintain strong boundaries will see her through every challenge she comes across, long after the custody order is irrelevant.
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Old 04-04-2020, 01:26 AM
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How are you doing today?
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Old 04-04-2020, 03:04 AM
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Originally Posted by kc05 View Post
So she went over there and him and his mom and sister basically hanged up on her and started talking bad about me. And saying I was the reason she wouldn’t come over to see him. And bless her little heart. She stood up to all of them.
Hi, I can never understand why adults would lay this on children. Shame on them. It happens whenever my step granddaughter sees her father and his FOI, and she doesn't go back there now. How is a child supposed to cope with adults involving them in these disagreements? Your AH seems to put his needs before hers.
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Old 04-04-2020, 04:51 AM
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Originally Posted by FeelingGreat View Post
Hi, I can never understand why adults would lay this on children. Shame on them. It happens whenever my step granddaughter sees her father and his FOI, and she doesn't go back there now. How is a child supposed to cope with adults involving them in these disagreements? Your AH seems to put his needs before hers.
oh really does. I haven’t said anything to my kids about lawyers and court. They know I’m working on things but I’m trying not to worry them about anything. Anyways. When she was there this week. He told her that I had went to a lawyer and papers drew up and that the sheriffs deputy came to his house to deliver the papers. And told her some story about how mad it made him that they came and he was so embarrassed. And the proposal I had was not gonna happen. And on and on. Really why even tell her that.
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