Max update and advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Eastern US
Posts: 1,386
Max update and advice
I was going strong and then suddenly I was drinking again. A perfect storm came up with a few things and my anxiety just took over. Guess I am looking for advice. I was really loving AVRT and thought that was my ticket out of this mess. The problem is, once I knew I wasn't going to be working for a while I already started to plan my binge. Not sure why I couldn't hold it off. Advice from anyone? What did you do to finally make it stick because, like many, I am still stuck in this pattern of quitting and relapsing and am starting to exhaust all of my plans.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
i relate. it took a major physical and mental issue to scare me enough quit this long.
until then the addiction was too fierce.
my way out initially was heavy exercise to provide the dopamine etc. i craved.
lots of sweets too.
then i started being able to get by with less stimulus. but, the addiction is always present.
education has been key. i don't want to die a drunk.
thanks
until then the addiction was too fierce.
my way out initially was heavy exercise to provide the dopamine etc. i craved.
lots of sweets too.
then i started being able to get by with less stimulus. but, the addiction is always present.
education has been key. i don't want to die a drunk.
thanks
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by MaximusD 
I was really loving AVRT and thought that was my ticket out of this mess. The problem is, once I knew I wasn't going to be working for a while I already started to plan my binge.
How were you doing in that respect?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 546
This won't rid you of the impulse, MaxD, but a suggestion I've seen here before:
You say that you started to plan your binge, so it sounds as if you saw it coming. If that happens again, then how about posting here as soon as you get that inkling, and talk it through, and get some real-time support *before* caving to the AV.
SR = open 24/7/365, even during a global shut-down.
You say that you started to plan your binge, so it sounds as if you saw it coming. If that happens again, then how about posting here as soon as you get that inkling, and talk it through, and get some real-time support *before* caving to the AV.
SR = open 24/7/365, even during a global shut-down.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Max, I'm sorry that you're struggling now. Have you made other changes in your life besides stopping drinking? Have you changed activities, friends, hobbies, exercise, that kind of thing? I hope you can find something that works for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I got sober at home, living alone, not working, no family in the area.
I made a one-time, no-turnback-in-it decision.
Any thoughts I had of drinking in early days of sobriety I tried to call up the many many memories of all the bad things that happen when drinking. There are so many.
Maybe write out a timeline of your drinking history. All the bad stuff, type it out from the very beginning.
At some point I had to be D.O.N.E.
No matter what, I wasn't going to pick up a drink.
I made a one-time, no-turnback-in-it decision.
Any thoughts I had of drinking in early days of sobriety I tried to call up the many many memories of all the bad things that happen when drinking. There are so many.
Maybe write out a timeline of your drinking history. All the bad stuff, type it out from the very beginning.
At some point I had to be D.O.N.E.
No matter what, I wasn't going to pick up a drink.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
After a car accident where I hit a concrete culvert
sitting on top the ground in Feb 1990 that landed
me in the hospital for 10 days with numerous broken
bones, contusions, a punctured spleen that was
removed and putting my family thru all that.
Then turn around after not drinking for 3 months
to heal almost perfectly, I picked up a drink and tried
to end my life with a hand full of pills on a dare.
My little ones couldn't wake me the next day for
their last day of vacation bible school. However,
in a far distance I can still vividly recall today, the
phone next to my bed ringing. With slurred voice
I answered with my mother in law looking for us
at church.
I tried to explain what was going on and all she could
do was yell at me to get up, in which I did and went to
throw up all that was in my system.
This is August 1990.
That phone to me was my Higher Power calling
me to wake up because He was not done with me
yet here on Earth. There still was work for me to
get done.
So, with love, care and concern, my family placed me
into the hands of those capable to teaching me about
my addiction and hand me a program of recovery, a gift,
that I would listen, learn, absorb and apply to my everyday
life once I completed my 28 day rehab stay and a 6 week
outpatient aftercare program upon release.
This program of recovery AA is the program that I am
using and incorporated in my everyday life on a continuous
bases to help me achieve sobriety, health, happiness,
honesty and many more amazing gifts life offers to us
to be grateful for.
Of course this is what has worked for me to remain
successful in my own recovery. However, there are
other options available to all and many have found
success in their own recovery and sobriety.
Find those whom you like what you see in them in
the way they are living a recovery life each day and
follow them until you are strong enough to continue
on your own journey passing on the knowledge and
experiences to others struggling giving them hope
they if you can get and stay sober each day, then so
can they.
With 29 yrs sobriety, I know that with out a doubt, if I
should ever pick up a drink, I will certainly end up drunk,
crazy or dead.
No matter what life throws my way, I know for a fact that
alcohol wont make it better.
Find what works and begin building a strong, solid recovery
foundation to live your life upon for yrs to come, just like so
many have.
sitting on top the ground in Feb 1990 that landed
me in the hospital for 10 days with numerous broken
bones, contusions, a punctured spleen that was
removed and putting my family thru all that.
Then turn around after not drinking for 3 months
to heal almost perfectly, I picked up a drink and tried
to end my life with a hand full of pills on a dare.
My little ones couldn't wake me the next day for
their last day of vacation bible school. However,
in a far distance I can still vividly recall today, the
phone next to my bed ringing. With slurred voice
I answered with my mother in law looking for us
at church.
I tried to explain what was going on and all she could
do was yell at me to get up, in which I did and went to
throw up all that was in my system.
This is August 1990.
That phone to me was my Higher Power calling
me to wake up because He was not done with me
yet here on Earth. There still was work for me to
get done.
So, with love, care and concern, my family placed me
into the hands of those capable to teaching me about
my addiction and hand me a program of recovery, a gift,
that I would listen, learn, absorb and apply to my everyday
life once I completed my 28 day rehab stay and a 6 week
outpatient aftercare program upon release.
This program of recovery AA is the program that I am
using and incorporated in my everyday life on a continuous
bases to help me achieve sobriety, health, happiness,
honesty and many more amazing gifts life offers to us
to be grateful for.
Of course this is what has worked for me to remain
successful in my own recovery. However, there are
other options available to all and many have found
success in their own recovery and sobriety.
Find those whom you like what you see in them in
the way they are living a recovery life each day and
follow them until you are strong enough to continue
on your own journey passing on the knowledge and
experiences to others struggling giving them hope
they if you can get and stay sober each day, then so
can they.
With 29 yrs sobriety, I know that with out a doubt, if I
should ever pick up a drink, I will certainly end up drunk,
crazy or dead.
No matter what life throws my way, I know for a fact that
alcohol wont make it better.
Find what works and begin building a strong, solid recovery
foundation to live your life upon for yrs to come, just like so
many have.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
That’s a compelling story, Sharon.
to answer your question, Max, I went through treatment (5 weeks in my case) and then started working the A.A. program
And I have been for many years with no relapses.
I have a fairly normal life.
Please stick around amigo and keep us posted as to how you’re doing.
to answer your question, Max, I went through treatment (5 weeks in my case) and then started working the A.A. program
And I have been for many years with no relapses.
I have a fairly normal life.
Please stick around amigo and keep us posted as to how you’re doing.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,438
What I did it 'make it stick' was work - really work - to make it stick.
No reason was good enough to drink again.
I was committed to backing up my decision not to drink with as much work and effort as it took for me to stay sober.
I'm not a superman, or a man of iron will, or anything - I just didn't want to drink anymore.
I did the hard yards and used the support here each and every time I needed it.
AVRT is great (so is AA and SMART and all the other alternatives) but like Carl said no technique is going to work if you refuse to use it.
D
No reason was good enough to drink again.
I was committed to backing up my decision not to drink with as much work and effort as it took for me to stay sober.
I'm not a superman, or a man of iron will, or anything - I just didn't want to drink anymore.
I did the hard yards and used the support here each and every time I needed it.
AVRT is great (so is AA and SMART and all the other alternatives) but like Carl said no technique is going to work if you refuse to use it.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 464
It takes commitment and sincere effort to avoid booze in early recovery. One thing I learned early on was to shake things up.
I was an isolated garage drinker....each and every night for many years.
So, I threw out all of my liquor, beer, mixers, mugs, and even gave away my garage fridge. I gave away my beer signs, my brewery stickers and my comfy drinking chair.
I moved stuff around in the garage, so it no longer appeared as a daily drinking hole. And, I stopped hanging out alone in my garage at night.
I realized--after a very short time-- that with bad addiction comes bad habit. Busting up both helps me to stay AF.
I was an isolated garage drinker....each and every night for many years.
So, I threw out all of my liquor, beer, mixers, mugs, and even gave away my garage fridge. I gave away my beer signs, my brewery stickers and my comfy drinking chair.
I moved stuff around in the garage, so it no longer appeared as a daily drinking hole. And, I stopped hanging out alone in my garage at night.
I realized--after a very short time-- that with bad addiction comes bad habit. Busting up both helps me to stay AF.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Whatever I thought alcohol was doing for me had stopped working years before I could no longer take care of myself. Which is what it took for me to stop.
My life had come to a halt, and nothing would ever be the same again. I went through a period of grieving. I was agitated a lot early on, and I was feeling overly fatigued.
I had nothing else to do but to go to meetings and consider suggestions from people who were getting sober. It took a while for me to recover both mentally and physically.
One of the most helpful things I learned was to either challenge or mute my internal critic. I must have thought that making myself miserable would work in my favor prior to that. After some time, I began to experience feelings of relief, gradually, and sometimes all at once.
I needed to learn how to live without drinking. I needed to start building a life for myself. I needed to acknowledge that my thinking and my way of doing things were not working. And, if I was being serious about staying sober, I needed to be a better person. But I had to stop hurting myself first.
My life had come to a halt, and nothing would ever be the same again. I went through a period of grieving. I was agitated a lot early on, and I was feeling overly fatigued.
I had nothing else to do but to go to meetings and consider suggestions from people who were getting sober. It took a while for me to recover both mentally and physically.
One of the most helpful things I learned was to either challenge or mute my internal critic. I must have thought that making myself miserable would work in my favor prior to that. After some time, I began to experience feelings of relief, gradually, and sometimes all at once.
I needed to learn how to live without drinking. I needed to start building a life for myself. I needed to acknowledge that my thinking and my way of doing things were not working. And, if I was being serious about staying sober, I needed to be a better person. But I had to stop hurting myself first.
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