LiveLikeGold6

lessgravity

AA is t's a wonderful program and works for millions, including many people here. However I'm approaching 2 years sobriety without AA. Happy to chat with you about my methods or you can just look through my posting history. Rational Recovery is a book that worked for many of us. And this website is unquestionably the number one tool that I've used. Do the work. There's no question that it can certainly be done.

Dee74

Hi LLG

You can get sober without AA sure, but it's hard to be always be the Parent and never the Child..

I think you've had better results with your recovery within AA than not.

To me it makes more sense to add things to what I've been doing, not subtract - more support, more changes, more effort, not less.

Why isn't social anxiety a problem when you go out on the town?

D

Nathan57

AA is wonderful -- it helps so many people but you can absolutely get sober without it.

At my worst, I was drinking around the clock. Got drunk, fell asleep and got drunk again

I just stopped one day. Withdraws were not fun but I got through it The desire has to be there. If you have the desire to get sober, you can get sober on your own or with programs.
'
You have to figure out what works for you.

Derringer

There seems to be some kind of misnomer that AA is for and full of naturally exuberant and extroverted people.

Its really not.

Its mostly full of naturally introverted, anxious, awkward, socially constipated types who have simply learned to be able to socialize without having to resort to a drink.

gypsytears

You can certainly get & stay sober without AA as unpopular as that may seem. Honestly I go to AA only on the rare occasion I feel like listening to a speaker meeting and depending on the snacks available.

D122y

I love AA, they definitely helped me get to this level of sober living.

I love SR, the USAF, American Idol, my wife, son, sister etc etc etc. too.

All of these things and people have gotten under my skin more than a time or two.

Still love them.

The main thing was sober time. Now this clean, I have seen a whole myriad of triggers. The AV morphs, but not enough to temp me past my battle scars, education, and my newly found wondrous mental and physical energy.

To boil it down. Time and suffering.

Thanks.

nez

It is entirely possible to stay sober without AA.
It is also entirely possible to stay sober by working the 12 steps of AA without ever attending a meeting.
The possible methods for staying sober are endless.

The success of the method used comes down to the individual and the bottom line of the degree of their desire to stay sober and their willingness to do the work required.

DriGuy

At first I thought I shouldn't reply, because I used AA to quit, but you are asking what people do to "STAY QUIT." These are two different things requiring different strategies. Lots of people quit, but don't stay quit very long. Quitting is the easy part. A hundred people may quit, but perhaps only 10 of them make it permanent. Many people quit over and over again, so staying quit, which I think is the real goal, seems like it requires more attention.

AA got me over the hump, and I stayed in it for several years, because I liked the people, and I did pick up useful information during that time. But for me staying quit was a plan of my own rather than the program. The main thing is there are lots of ways to make it permanent, so I can't say, "Just do this, and you will be fine."

However, I think there are a few common threads that run through all programs of staying. First, your sobriety is your responsibility. I would resist putting my sobriety in the hands of anyone else that wants to decide for you what you need to do. It's much too important for that. Your sobriety is your responsibility and yours alone, and it is so in the most selfish way possible. You need to be uncompromising in this respect, both with others and with yourself.

Second, learn about your alcoholic voice. Look this up and understand what it is. Learn to recognize it, because after you are done with cravings, this little voice inside us tries to deceive us into thinking we are done quitting and are now ready to achieve the golden fantasy of drinking in moderation. It's a killer, it pops up when you aren't expecting it, and I believe it ends recovery and gets us back on the addiction coaster more often than any other mistake we can make.

Third, pursue dreams that don't require drinking. I like your bike riding idea. In sobriety, I bought my third bike, a recumbent for long distances. I averaged 40 miles a day, 7 days a week weather permitting. But that was just a start, there are lots of wholesome activities, some just social activities that don't require drinking. Mainly, do things you can do without drinking, and of course, don't drink.

Fourth, make a new effort to get to know yourself deep down, counseling, therapy, mindfulness, or meditation are good ways to do this. Combine this with changing your behaviors when appropriate.

But that is the abbreviation of the way I did it. You are the architect of your own sobriety. I think deep down, we know how to do this. But we resist, thinking we don't need to work that hard. The odd thing, once you get into it, it is not hard.

Anna

You should do whatever works for you, and I think recovery depends a lot on motivation. I'm not an AA person, but I have a framework in my life that works for me.

Ringside

I urge you to reconsider sticking to things that are "comfortable" or avoiding things that are "kind of a burden", and instead do the opposite of what you are used to doing whether that is AA or something else. If nothing changes, nothing changes

Silver11

Ringside

I had never thought about it this way...that's great. Similarly, even if nothing else, a meeting is a place I can go and let go of the reins an hour at a time.

least

I got sober (initially) using weekly sessions with my addiction counselor and daily visits to SR. I no longer see the counselor, but still come here many times a day to read and post.

I'm sober over 10 yrs now so it's working for me.

fini

yes, entirely possible.
the person who founded Lifering Secular Recovery is just one example
i mention it because there are lots of LSR meetings in Northern California, where you live.
no doubt hundreds of thousands, if not millions, got and stayed sober before AA ever came along.
i was sober for years before i went to AA when i knew i wanted what they had to offer. but that’s a different story.

Lines

My vice isnt alcohol so I was reluctant to share. But alcohol is still a drug, just legal I suppose.

I found CBT helpful as well as therapy especially in the beginning. Exercise also always helps. Biking, hiking, swimming. I try to focus on a healthy lifestyle. I recently relapsed and I believe it was because I wasn't handling stress well, and I dove into work and let the life / work balance deteriorate. Those are my weak spots. Otherwise I think living a healthy life with exercise, proper rest, things like meditation and reflection are important to keep me centered. And last, family and friends who accept me, and are good influences. People I share similar interest with (or beliefs) to help make life more enjoyable and meaningful.

Wastinglife

I can relate. I suffered bad social anxiety as a child. It's largely gone now but there are some remnants. I have ADHD and am particularly sensitive to personal space. I don't like it when a random stranger comes up to me and tries to shake my hand and talk to me. I also leave before people hold hands and pray at the end. Hopefully, that tradition will end now. In this day and age, with all we know about disease transmission, it should have ended years ago
.

AAPJ

Thought/question:

Over time I have seen a number of posts regarding sobriety w/o AA. They usually attract a good number of responses. So why have I never seen a similar thread about recovery w/o other recovery methods like SMART or LifeRing?

fini

there are tons of threads about other methods in the Secular forums farther down.

lessgravity

Whats up LLG? You posted an interesting topic. How are you addressing your obstacles to sobriety?

I see from your join date it's been a long time since you started on this path. How can we help you get it right?