It’s been a while - Update
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 308
It’s been a while - Update
Quick recap of my struggle for anyone new. I was drinking around the clock. In the morning, at work, middle of the night, etc. I could no longer sleep without waking up every two hours to have a drink. On December 17th, I crawled into the ER with alcohol withdrawal. My heart was at stroke like levels and my liver was failing. Pretty sure I heard a doctor ask if they should have paddles nearby in case they had to revive me. Scary stuff. They pumped me full of anti withdrawal drugs and off I went.
The first two weeks were spectacular. The pink cloud effect. I’d known I wanted to quit for a long time but I couldn’t physically do it due to the withdrawals. The meds they gave me solved that problem. It felt so good to finally be off the booze.
Then the reality set in. I could no longer drink. Everything in my life revolved around drinking and now I had to do all of it sober. Depression kicked in. Hard. Getting out of bed was nearly impossible. Mood swings were draining and uncontrollable. There was literally nothing I could do to break the depression. Reading posts on here promising that everything will get better were complete bullsh*t to me.
Then about a month ago, I got a call from my mom in the middle of the night. My dad collapsed and died. 66 years old. He was truly a great person. My mom being the angel that she is, told me the first thing she thought about was me going back to drinking. That hit hard. Her husband of 43 years just died and her first thought was my well being.
I am now 73 days sober. There are a lot of cliches in sobriety. None more important than “one day at a time”. I used to think of it as corny but come to find out it had a big role in saving my life.
The depression has finally lifted and I feel like I am just now starting to shape my new life. For those of you struggling in early sobriety, please take the advice of others and truly know that it does get a lot easier. Life really opens up and becomes a lot more manageable. One last cliche: if I can get and stay sober, anyone can. TRUST ME!
The first two weeks were spectacular. The pink cloud effect. I’d known I wanted to quit for a long time but I couldn’t physically do it due to the withdrawals. The meds they gave me solved that problem. It felt so good to finally be off the booze.
Then the reality set in. I could no longer drink. Everything in my life revolved around drinking and now I had to do all of it sober. Depression kicked in. Hard. Getting out of bed was nearly impossible. Mood swings were draining and uncontrollable. There was literally nothing I could do to break the depression. Reading posts on here promising that everything will get better were complete bullsh*t to me.
Then about a month ago, I got a call from my mom in the middle of the night. My dad collapsed and died. 66 years old. He was truly a great person. My mom being the angel that she is, told me the first thing she thought about was me going back to drinking. That hit hard. Her husband of 43 years just died and her first thought was my well being.
I am now 73 days sober. There are a lot of cliches in sobriety. None more important than “one day at a time”. I used to think of it as corny but come to find out it had a big role in saving my life.
The depression has finally lifted and I feel like I am just now starting to shape my new life. For those of you struggling in early sobriety, please take the advice of others and truly know that it does get a lot easier. Life really opens up and becomes a lot more manageable. One last cliche: if I can get and stay sober, anyone can. TRUST ME!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 259
Im sorry for your families loss. My dad passed away a couple of years ago at 66. I was still drinking then and alcohol doesn't take the grief away and makes it much deeper and prolonged. Thats why it's good to hear you are sober and taking life in as it comes. My condolences to you and your entire family.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 517
Hey Vinny, was thinking about you last few weeks.
Sorry to hear about your Dad ☹️
It is that time of life for me too, the generation that raised me is starting to go, one by one. Circle of life.
Good on you for staying sober through it.
Keep it up pal.
Sorry to hear about your Dad ☹️
It is that time of life for me too, the generation that raised me is starting to go, one by one. Circle of life.
Good on you for staying sober through it.
Keep it up pal.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,586
Dearest Vinnie. You started in my Dececember 2020 class and have been wondering where you were, and how you were doing. So happy to hear you are doing well. I too am very sorry about the loss of your Dad. You have a good mum.
I used to think it was all bullshite too, the depression, the sickness, the cliches, the everything, but like you the sun came up and I saw alcohol for what it was, and it was bullshite not recovery and sobriety. Amazing stuff. Beautiful stuff.
I'm so very happy for you Vinnie.
I used to think it was all bullshite too, the depression, the sickness, the cliches, the everything, but like you the sun came up and I saw alcohol for what it was, and it was bullshite not recovery and sobriety. Amazing stuff. Beautiful stuff.
I'm so very happy for you Vinnie.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by VinnyMcM 
The first two weeks were spectacular.
Then the reality set in. I could no longer drink. Everything in my life revolved around drinking and now I had to do all of it sober. Depression kicked in. Hard. Getting out of bed was nearly impossible. Mood swings were draining and uncontrollable. There was literally nothing I could do to break the depression. Reading posts on here promising that everything will get better were complete bullsh*t to me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Vinny I am so damn sorry about your Dad. Thanks for such an inspiring post. Really great to hear your online voice here on SR. My quit date was a little prior to yours but not by much. I haven't faced any huge life events since I quit drinking and your post will help me when that inevitably happens.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
What an honest & heartfelt post, Vinny. It will help encourage many - I'm sure.
I was exactly where you were - drinking all day, & kept one on my nightstand so I wouldn't shake during the night if I woke up. Classy. I was sure nothing would ever be fun or exciting again. So pathetic. I'm very thankful we got free of it. Thank you for telling your story for others to benefit from. Praying for you & your mom.
I was exactly where you were - drinking all day, & kept one on my nightstand so I wouldn't shake during the night if I woke up. Classy. I was sure nothing would ever be fun or exciting again. So pathetic. I'm very thankful we got free of it. Thank you for telling your story for others to benefit from. Praying for you & your mom.
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