A feeling you thought you lost but got back?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 519
A feeling you thought you lost but got back?
When I was 17 years old I turned away from a promising path in contemporary dance and choreography to drink.
Simple as that.
I threw it all away in order to numb out for the next 17 years and never thought about it again. I didn't allow myself to think about my lost passion for a second because the pain was too great.
Instead, I lost years and decades poisoning myself, placing myself in more dangerous situations and places with people who didn't care about me. I became lonely, sick and tired.
Every now and then I would watch a dance show, search a routine or just give myself one memory...just to remember. It hurt. I loved it so much. But it wasn't important anymore, I told myself. It was ok.
Today, I met with three young girls and began choreography on a contemporary routine for a competition in August. This opportunity was given to me through my job. My new job that I was hired for at one month of sobriety. The fitness director heard that I used to dance and offered me a chance to teach. We started and today, I saw the routine come to life, I saw these girls getting excited and I felt myself remembering. The feelings I had when I was 17 years old came flowing back, and I was taken right back to that dance studio. Me, young, full of life, present and happy. All of it was there for me. Creating, moving and teaching something I loved so dearly has moved me to a place of gratitude so profound that I am in awe.
Today I thanked these girls with a quick message; "You're doing great girls, very happy to be working with you." A short message that doesn't even begin to cover an iota of what is happening to me.
They wrote back their gratitude as well at working with me. I will see them next week and they don't even know that they are doing so much more for me than I could ever do for them.
These are the miracles of sobriety, these are the promises.
Night
Nic.
Simple as that.
I threw it all away in order to numb out for the next 17 years and never thought about it again. I didn't allow myself to think about my lost passion for a second because the pain was too great.
Instead, I lost years and decades poisoning myself, placing myself in more dangerous situations and places with people who didn't care about me. I became lonely, sick and tired.
Every now and then I would watch a dance show, search a routine or just give myself one memory...just to remember. It hurt. I loved it so much. But it wasn't important anymore, I told myself. It was ok.
Today, I met with three young girls and began choreography on a contemporary routine for a competition in August. This opportunity was given to me through my job. My new job that I was hired for at one month of sobriety. The fitness director heard that I used to dance and offered me a chance to teach. We started and today, I saw the routine come to life, I saw these girls getting excited and I felt myself remembering. The feelings I had when I was 17 years old came flowing back, and I was taken right back to that dance studio. Me, young, full of life, present and happy. All of it was there for me. Creating, moving and teaching something I loved so dearly has moved me to a place of gratitude so profound that I am in awe.
Today I thanked these girls with a quick message; "You're doing great girls, very happy to be working with you." A short message that doesn't even begin to cover an iota of what is happening to me.
They wrote back their gratitude as well at working with me. I will see them next week and they don't even know that they are doing so much more for me than I could ever do for them.
These are the miracles of sobriety, these are the promises.
Night
Nic.
I needed to read that. 
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Thanks for sharing NicLin x It’s so motivating and uplifting to read and for those that feel like they are never going to get or deserve a second chance a reminder that it’s possible and everyone deserves that. I am really happy for you xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,588
Such a great testimony to sobriety NicLin.
There are passions I had that I left behind too. Slowly I am beginning to see that I can still, all this time time later, regain them. It is never too late.
Thanks for posting NicLin you have given me further reason to continue the journey.
There are passions I had that I left behind too. Slowly I am beginning to see that I can still, all this time time later, regain them. It is never too late.
Thanks for posting NicLin you have given me further reason to continue the journey.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
Originally Posted by NicLin 
When I was 17 years old I turned away from a promising path in contemporary dance and choreography to drink.
Simple as that.
I threw it all away in order to numb out for the next 17 years and never thought about it again. I didn't allow myself to think about my lost passion for a second because the pain was too great.
Instead, I lost years and decades poisoning myself, placing myself in more dangerous situations and places with people who didn't care about me. I became lonely, sick and tired.
Every now and then I would watch a dance show, search a routine or just give myself one memory...just to remember. It hurt. I loved it so much. But it wasn't important anymore, I told myself. It was ok.
Today, I met with three young girls and began choreography on a contemporary routine for a competition in August. This opportunity was given to me through my job. My new job that I was hired for at one month of sobriety. The fitness director heard that I used to dance and offered me a chance to teach. We started and today, I saw the routine come to life, I saw these girls getting excited and I felt myself remembering. The feelings I had when I was 17 years old came flowing back, and I was taken right back to that dance studio. Me, young, full of life, present and happy. All of it was there for me. Creating, moving and teaching something I loved so dearly has moved me to a place of gratitude so profound that I am in awe.
Today I thanked these girls with a quick message; "You're doing great girls, very happy to be working with you." A short message that doesn't even begin to cover an iota of what is happening to me.
They wrote back their gratitude as well at working with me. I will see them next week and they don't even know that they are doing so much more for me than I could ever do for them.
These are the miracles of sobriety, these are the promises.
Night
Nic.
Simple as that.
I threw it all away in order to numb out for the next 17 years and never thought about it again. I didn't allow myself to think about my lost passion for a second because the pain was too great.
Instead, I lost years and decades poisoning myself, placing myself in more dangerous situations and places with people who didn't care about me. I became lonely, sick and tired.
Every now and then I would watch a dance show, search a routine or just give myself one memory...just to remember. It hurt. I loved it so much. But it wasn't important anymore, I told myself. It was ok.
Today, I met with three young girls and began choreography on a contemporary routine for a competition in August. This opportunity was given to me through my job. My new job that I was hired for at one month of sobriety. The fitness director heard that I used to dance and offered me a chance to teach. We started and today, I saw the routine come to life, I saw these girls getting excited and I felt myself remembering. The feelings I had when I was 17 years old came flowing back, and I was taken right back to that dance studio. Me, young, full of life, present and happy. All of it was there for me. Creating, moving and teaching something I loved so dearly has moved me to a place of gratitude so profound that I am in awe.
Today I thanked these girls with a quick message; "You're doing great girls, very happy to be working with you." A short message that doesn't even begin to cover an iota of what is happening to me.
They wrote back their gratitude as well at working with me. I will see them next week and they don't even know that they are doing so much more for me than I could ever do for them.
These are the miracles of sobriety, these are the promises.
Night
Nic.
Finding lost values and purpose in life gives meaning to life.
When our values trump our addiction, there is no addiction.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Originally Posted by NicLin
they don't even know that they are doing so much more for me than I could ever do for them.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
