Wastinglife

I am a son of doctors. My father was a Coroner who was in the news often. I need to vent this out. Mom was an alcoholic, maybe a sociopath. Watched me ruin my life over 10 years after countless pleads for help. She only cared about herself. She was like a 'witch' in the Wizard of Oz. She is dead now and it is a relief. She was just poisonous and may have poisoned my food.

DaisyBelle7

That had to be a horrible way to grow up. I’m sorry. Have you found a therapist who can help?

Dee74

If it was me, with recurring issues in my past I could not get closure on, I'd look for a counsellor or a therapist. Sometimes you need the outside perspective WL.

Isn't the Canadian system pretty good for getting people the help they need, regardless of income?

D

Wastinglife

Thanks everyone. I am 43 now and coming to terms with things. I have ADHD, completely neglected as a child. I remember vomiting when my mother would spoon feed me. My sister almost died too when she choked on her vomit.

My father was busy. He was not complicit as far as I know. But mom was probably looking for attention.

"Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome" is just devastating for a child growing up. The famous rapper Eminem also suffered from it. This is my conclusion.

Kjma

I'm so sorry you had a mother like that. I know what it's like to have a mother who abused you. I did too. My mother's was more overt, but nonetheless seriously damaging. I finally had to get closure for my own sake. I had to find a way to forgive her, not for her but for me. I couldn't let the abuse she gave me continue to mess with my life. If you aren't able to do this alone, seek counseling. It's no doubt a big part of being emotionally healthy enough to make a positive, upward thinking life, and may well play into your ability to remain sober.

HeadEast

I agree with the above posts. You really need to see a therapist or other professional. It sounds horrible what you had to grow up with.

MaximusD

I just got a therapist a few months ago rather reluctantly and it has been good!

aasharon90

Back in the day, folks didnt talk about abuse openly
in public or with others. It was always kept hush, swept
under the rug, kept to ones self or else youd catch hell
from the abuser.

My mom to me was a dr. jeckle/mr. hyde personality,
beautiful on the outside in folks eye, but take away
that and I saw a monster. A sick person who targeted
one child out of 4 with verbal, physical, emotional abuse
for yrs.

She dealt with her own demons with prescription
drugs and when mixed with alcohol....a ticking time bomb
exploding more times than I care to remember.

Yes, I learned to numb my own pain with alcohol
before entering recovery 29 yrs ago incorporating
important tools and knowledge of addiction and
recovery in all areas of my life to achieve freedom
from my addiction and all that which came with it.

Many sober yrs have followed as I continue to remain
positive and not let my past define who I am today and
remembering that there is an abundant amount of help
available if needed so that you, we , us never have to go
thru childhood abuse/trauma alone or by ourselves.

Support and understanding sent your way.