I was a middle school teacher. Not to toot my own horn, but I was pretty decent at it and loved my students. It was stressful though. Not the actual teaching aspect of the job, it was stressful due to micromanaging administrators, mountains of paperwork, toxic colleagues, and one particular person who tried really hard to sabotage me.

Anyway, I got into some bad habits. Sometimes I would take adderall to stay up all night re-working lesson plans that were going to be picked apart anyway. One time I worked through my spring break, drinking coffee all day, barely eating, then switching to wine all evening. Perk myself up with adderall and keep working.

It wasn’t like that all the time though. Most days I would stay at work until around 6, so I could leave my work at work. And I’d stop at the liquor store and pick up those mini bottles of Prosecco and pop one open for the drive home. Then I’d get home and drink until bedtime. Fridays were great. I’d get home from work and immediately started dreading Monday, so I’d start drinking. Ugh.

That’s one of the reasons I quit; I knew I had to make changes. And I didn’t know how I could face that job sober. People manage to get sober while working all the time, but I didn’t feel like I could do that, I am lucky that I’ve been able to stay home and sort myself out. I didn’t get sober right away, but I finally got myself under control and quit drinking

So I quit my job in June 2018, sober since January 2019. And now I kind of miss work. I’m thinking that maybe instead of teaching full time I could be an assistant. Their pay is abysmal, but the workload is easier. Maybe if I can find a school with a less toxic work environment I can eventually apply for a full time teaching position.

(edited because I hit post prematurely)

Anyway, I’m just mulling things over. I’m open to any words of wisdom or advice. I know this is a dilemma a lot of us encounter in some way. I just don’t want to put myself in a triggering situation.

This is something I’ve been considering as well. I would like the opportunity to see how a few different schools function.

Hmm. I could be interested in the idea of working in a non-school environment. I have no idea what I could do, but maybe this is worth exploring.

Oh, I just saw this. Must have missed it when I was reading here earlier.

To address zebra’s concerns: I’m aware of what a “job” is, and I did not say that I was looking for stress-free employment. Maybe my original post gave off some kind of ignorant, delusional vibe, but I can assure you that this is not the case here.

And to point out the obvious, in my experience, some jobs are more stressful than others. Some workplaces are mostly supportive while others are more toxic. What’s wrong with weighing my options while taking into consideration previous experiences and triggers?

As for my recovery plan ... I mean, that’s the whole point of this post. I’m planning for how I’m going to handle making potential changes to my day to day routine when/if I go back to work.

Thanks people — a lot of excellent input here. You guys have given me a lot of good stuff to think about as I figure out my next move. ❤️❤️❤️

Put your sobriety and recovery as no1 priority in your life always. Everything will all fall in to place from there 🙏

So true. Definitely words to live by. Thanks.

Oh wow, do I relate — the paperwork, the principal, and non-teaching related stuff. Ugh, I’m getting flashbacks. I can handle a lot, but the worst thing for me was the complete loss of professional autonomy. My last principal was such a rigid micromanager. I’ll resist the urge to launch into a rant here, just ... it sucked. I felt that we were doing our kids a disservice in so many ways, and it was very difficult to do much about it.

Anyway, it’s a shame that so many good teachers are leaving, but it’s important to take care of your mental and physical health. How long have you taught? Have you taught at other schools? I’ve thought about teaching in another district or maybe a private school, but I don’t want to jump into another one year contract at this time. So yeah, I don’t know what to do either. If you figure something out, let me know!