Donnylutz

I know Im being a bit hypocritical here - asking for opinions on how to ignore opinions, but I just get so annoyed sometimes - and I like being contradictory.

I had my first panic attack when I was 9. The last panic attack I had was yesterday. Still have 2-3 a month. It caused me to drop out of high school, made me refuse to get on a plane (I conquered that fear a few years ago with alcohols help - not sure I can get on a plane now.......cross that bridge when it comes up) - I've lost relationships because of it, couldn't be a passenger in a car because of it, I even got very agoraphobic because of it (couldn't leave my house for 3 months when I was 17)...etc etc etc. I was medicated for it the first time when I was 13 - and have been on and off since. I don't think I would've been drawn so much to alcohol if it didn't medicate my anxiety so well (at first).

So, tonight I got negative feedback when I mentioned being on medication. I didn't even mention what I'm taking or why. It pissed me off so much. In a room full of folks actively addicted to and using both caffeine and cigarettes - I was getting crap for taking medicine as prescribed by my doctor who knows fully well that I'm in recovery??? I get good info in these rooms sometimes, but I trust my doctor when it comes to my mental health.

I'm trying to just let it go. They don't know what I take or why. I just hate the stigma around mental illness in general. As much as I keep my alcoholism to just my friends and other alchy's - I'd much rather it be known that I'm an alcoholic than someone living with mental health problems). My mental health issues existed long before I had a drop of alcohol, and, as I'm finally accepting now, will exist for the rest of my life. It's a chronic disease. However, with therapy and medications I can get better, and now that I'm sober I don't have the massive ups and downs anymore...I DO NOT miss how bad my anxiety would get when I was hungover.......ugh

I guess my point is - how do I not listen to other people's opinions and input when it doesn't fit for me? But, don't tell me, cause I really don't want to know lol. Excuse me while I take some tums and go to bed - I'm sure someone somewhere will happily criticize me for my nightly tum indulgence, which helps my acid reflux lol .

My name is Donny, and I'm addicted to alcohol, figure skating, stranger's approval and opinions, and, uh, calcium???? Fine, chipotle too.....well, mexican food in general. 💗⛸🌮🌯🥙 This is what happens when I have Dr Pepper after 6PM these days lol. Oh, another addiction!

Have a good night SR

sugarbear1

Those people's opinions are irrelevant. What happens between you and your doctor is your business! You ARE sober!! (although bringing up drugs of any kind at an AA meeting will cause an uproar. They don't understand singleness of purpose sometimes

HeadEast

I think I would have said FU really quick. I don't know what to tell you. Idiots abound who think they know everything, and who should just be dealing with alcohol related issues. Try not to let it bother you. I know that's a lot easier said than done. I take medication also.

Donnylutz

I'm getting better at it.

Steely

Say, "if I need advice I'll see my sponsor." Shuts 'em up every time.

That was the advice I received when I used attend AA.

You can still say it even if you don't have a sponsor. They'll get the drift irrespective.

least

Just say, "I'll take your opinion under advisement." Then just ignore them. If they bring it up again, repeat what you just said until they lay off. You know what opinions are like... and everybody has one.

Kjma

Donny, loving that sense of humor! Use it to your advantage with those from whom you don't wish to receive advice.

Derringer

You kinda know how it goes with mental health and taking medicine for it, so why share ?

I took an SSRI for the first 2 years of my sobriety and didn't tell a soul.

Didn't wanna cause myself the aggravation.

Donnylutz

I really didn't know. My inpatient treatment focused a lot on my anxiety disorder and everyone I was with in groups were similar to me - I certainly know now.

Dee74

I used to let other peoples opinions get to me a lot - I think that was because I got my validation externally based on how other people related to me.

In recovery I rely on my gut a lot more - sometimes other peoples opinions change my mind, sometimes they do not - but I never let it get to me too much...what other people believe need not be a problem for me.

D

Surrendered19

Yeah Donny, when we wade into a pool of support, everything welcome and unwelcome is thrown our way. I have been so wrong about so many things for so much of my life, I just listen now and really concentrate on waiting a day and thinking before I react to something that makes me angry. Usually in that time, what pissed me off reveals itself as not worthy of being so mad at, or that I was at least partially wrong and had some thinking and learning to do.

August252015

And you are funny as heck!

So, I get the "I'm a bit contradictory" (note: I first read it as "contrary," HA!) part. Big time. Complex yet incredibly simple, if you are willing to understand me, my husband and closest folks might say.

And that's the part where the FU comes in. And sometimes, it is just that kind of sentiment. Like, "dude(tte), take a leap bc I got this, you idiot" Or such.

But more often, I've learned that the best thing for me is a more smooth and self-focused approach. Like, "I got this, I'm good w me" said more to ME than to them.

I think it really boils down to how much we accept ourselves. I know that's a somewhat fluctuating thing for me, even now at 4 yr sober. But I am indeed way better at it thanks to what I've learned and practice.

You keep doing you, Dr Pepper friend!

August252015

Except my MIL. She is flat wrong and so on every time.

DriGuy

In a gathering of people, there are a variety of opinions. Often the most strident opinions are the least helpful, so don't blow off the entire group because of the opinions of part of the group.

I'm open to opinions, but I often blow off opinions that I know or suspect are outright wrong. Good opinions are the ones that make logical sense and are supported with convincing evidence. There are a lot of good ideas and correct information in any group. There are also opinions.

Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater (that's just my opinion).

marleysmama

August, I love your quote I got this, I'm good with me. I don't know how to put a quote in a message, ha!

Donnie, I am also on medication for anxiety and depression for years. And I can't imagine what it's like to be in a supposedly non-judgmental, supportive atmosphere and receive this feedback (which is NONE of their business to question).

So, so many people are on medication. 11% of adults take an antidepressant medication alone.

MM

August252015

^^^I'm on meds! For anxiety (taken as needed) and 2 others for maintenance of other things. It's not for everyone but I gotta do me.

cantsleep123

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being on prescription medication under medical supervision. Just take what you need from AA and leave the rest. They are just people and you don't need their approval to follow doctor's orders.

Ken33xx

As you've learned there are those in AA who hold strong opinion and can be intimidating.

Cross talk is generally not allowed but some members can't wait to **pounce on what they just heard.

If you're new to a meeting it might be best to hold back before sharing. Listen to others and get a feel of the vibe in the room.


**A couple of weeks back I was at a meeting where step 6 was being discussed. A member shared he didn't really care if his defects of character were removed or not. What is important is he not drink today.

Well, this didn't go over too well with one of the heavy hitters in the group (37 years sober.) He had already shared but jumped again to say a few words.

Three others quickly followed suit... and when the meeting was over I wondered if man would return.

He hasn't.

Anna

I don't go to AA meetings, but if I did, I would not talk about my antidepressant. I know I need it and that I will continue to take it so I'm not interested in what others think about it.

nez

I have no idea if this is the case for anyone else, but for me, when other people's opinions about me (or something I do or don't do) bothers me; it is due to an insecurity on my part.

The first thing I do is to pay attention to the physical changes that are occurring in my body as I get worked up. If I like them, I keep getting worked up. Needless to say this never is the case, so then I work on relaxing and releasing the building tension and stress.

At this point, I focus on what the insecurity is, why I have it, and how it effects me. Doing this puts my focus on me, which is where it can do the most good, instead of spinning my wheels over the opinion, which is counter productive at best.

I also make sure to thank my higher power for sending me a red flag about an area of my personality that needs some attention and improvement.

Getting pissed off, is not enjoyable for me. I much prefer the peace and serenity that comes from continued growth.