Back to day 1
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,499
AnxiousRock, your posts from yesterday sounded a bit stressed to me. You worked hard at your job, then you went to the gym to work out. After that, you weren't feeling well, so had a snack, talked to your fiance and went to bed.
Of course, your job and working out at the gym are both important. But, I think it might be a good idea to make sure you have a bit of time to just 'be', time to reflect, maybe to journal or read something inspirational, time to have a nice meal and to be kind to yourself.
I found that balance was very important in my recovery and it's something I still work hard to maintain every day.
Be kind to yourself today and have faith that you can do this.
Of course, your job and working out at the gym are both important. But, I think it might be a good idea to make sure you have a bit of time to just 'be', time to reflect, maybe to journal or read something inspirational, time to have a nice meal and to be kind to yourself.
I found that balance was very important in my recovery and it's something I still work hard to maintain every day.
Be kind to yourself today and have faith that you can do this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,584
You are making it anxiousrock. Most of us learn this way, with relapse in the beginning, that is. That's how it's been for me at anyrate. Glad to see you on Day 2. Keep up the good work. 
I also took a tip from Anna's post. My flat has become such a mess, and the garden needs work, so much organising to do, and I've been exhausting myself trying.
Now, I really am giving myself permission to rest a bit, read and post here, and do only what I can without getting into an anxious fix. It's working for me, and feel much more relaxed, in control. It's all ok, I tell myself often. Hope same for you.
I also took a tip from Anna's post. My flat has become such a mess, and the garden needs work, so much organising to do, and I've been exhausting myself trying.
Now, I really am giving myself permission to rest a bit, read and post here, and do only what I can without getting into an anxious fix. It's working for me, and feel much more relaxed, in control. It's all ok, I tell myself often. Hope same for you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Anxious - I'm so glad you posted about what's going on. As Steely said, most of us learn this way - I was a slow learner, but I now have many years of sobriety. I'm sure picking up again didn't do a thing for you but cause misery. I agree - you are making it - you're taking steps to reach your goal of a new, sober life. We know you can.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
HI.
January first is great. You made it a long way.
When I first tried quitting, I could make it three to five days. And this went on for ten years.
Can you imagine the sense of failure and self-hate I felt for myself? I thought I was hopeless. I was a very bad drunk. For thirty five years.
I guess drinking alcoholically for so long made it hard to stop for very long. Kindling.
But I never gave up. That's the one of two things I did to quit. I never gave up trying.
The other was seeking help. For me, that was AA. There are other methods, if that's not for you. And I came here, of course.
Don't give up before the miracle happens. I was drunk for a very long time and now I've been sober over eleven years. Because I never gave up. Even when I was all alone, which was always until AA. Ten years of being alone trying to quit drinking.
It was a nightmare.
You can do it. I know you can. You had a nice long stretch there. Be proud of that and start again.
And don't give up.
January first is great. You made it a long way.
When I first tried quitting, I could make it three to five days. And this went on for ten years.
Can you imagine the sense of failure and self-hate I felt for myself? I thought I was hopeless. I was a very bad drunk. For thirty five years.
I guess drinking alcoholically for so long made it hard to stop for very long. Kindling.
But I never gave up. That's the one of two things I did to quit. I never gave up trying.
The other was seeking help. For me, that was AA. There are other methods, if that's not for you. And I came here, of course.
Don't give up before the miracle happens. I was drunk for a very long time and now I've been sober over eleven years. Because I never gave up. Even when I was all alone, which was always until AA. Ten years of being alone trying to quit drinking.
It was a nightmare.
You can do it. I know you can. You had a nice long stretch there. Be proud of that and start again.
And don't give up.
Don't give up!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 62
You made it 50+ days.
You did well.
At least you made it that long. Not everyone can make it that long. If you keep going you only had 1 failure (one time drinking) and that's it.
I failed once trying to quit drinking a year or two ago before it got kind of worse. I wanted to clean up my life and take a break from drinking (I wanted to quit, but wasn't really forced to so it felt really difficult that way alone) as I was worried it might get bad at some point. I got kind of worried I couldn't quit when I wanted to that time for as long as I wanted to and this time around I decided to quit permanently since the first time kind of made me wonder. I had only been drinking for 5 years or so, but not being able to quit on a whim kind of worried me. This time I just decided I wasn't going to take a long break I was just going to quit permanently.
I had been drinking for about 7 years in total if not 8 years in total and now I'm done (2019 - drinking for 7-8 years in total). I failed once myself.
You did well.
At least you made it that long. Not everyone can make it that long. If you keep going you only had 1 failure (one time drinking) and that's it.
I failed once trying to quit drinking a year or two ago before it got kind of worse. I wanted to clean up my life and take a break from drinking (I wanted to quit, but wasn't really forced to so it felt really difficult that way alone) as I was worried it might get bad at some point. I got kind of worried I couldn't quit when I wanted to that time for as long as I wanted to and this time around I decided to quit permanently since the first time kind of made me wonder. I had only been drinking for 5 years or so, but not being able to quit on a whim kind of worried me. This time I just decided I wasn't going to take a long break I was just going to quit permanently.
I had been drinking for about 7 years in total if not 8 years in total and now I'm done (2019 - drinking for 7-8 years in total). I failed once myself.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
And now I'm sad and super anxious and can't sleep.
It's only temporary and should get better the longer you're sober.
I found the insomnia and anxiety the worst part of w/d. I couldn't sit still, would pace the house.
But after a couple weeks sober, I started feeling much better. Samantha
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 2,031
Originally Posted by Steely 
You wanted more, and you are going to get more, anxiousrock. One day at a time. It's going to be fine. Trust me, I'm an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Starting over sucks. I know that feeling and so do a lot of other folks here. I recently described my life like this at an AA meeting. For 40+ years I lived a life of constant drinking with occasional short periods of sobriety. For the last 4+ years I lived a life of sobriety with occasional short periods of drinking. It's not perfect but it's a big improvement and I'm still working on it.
Find something positive to hang on to. For me I realized that I have been sober for five New Years Eves in a row. That has not happened for me since the early 1970s. Amazing.
Just keep trying.
Find something positive to hang on to. For me I realized that I have been sober for five New Years Eves in a row. That has not happened for me since the early 1970s. Amazing.
Just keep trying.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
