marleysmama

Good Sunday Morning! I'm on 10 days sober now. I've mostly been concentrating on just getting through the symptoms, a huge one is exhaustion.

I'm an avid reader and am reading This Naked Mind right now which I highly recommend.

Now that I'm feeling physically better, it's time to start delving into self examination and I'm not sure how to begin that process. I expect it to be pretty uncomfortable.

I'd love any advice...I know meditation is important. I don't want to do any type of therapy...I want to do this on my own.

THANK YOU!!

skybert

Hi marleysmama!
I don´t know about how to take advice from a book, other than proffessional litterature. There are allot of humbug out there. Well meaning, but most of the books are subjective experiences, without the authors warnings about excactly that.
Objective research mention meditation, physical excercise and focus on a goal. I beleive it is as simple as that.
A vice member here at SR mentioned a very good point allso: Remember to salute every tiny milestone on the road. These advices has been a huge help for me on my short journey of 13 days sober

tomls

Way to go on 10 days! Early recovery can be very hard. Please don't start beating yourself up for your alcoholic behavior. That was the old you. You are very early in this process. Don't expect too much of yourself right now. Take care of yourself. Drink a lot of water, eat good, sleep as needed and beware of highs and lows and good days and bad days. Read and post questions as needed' Open 24/7 and people want to help you cause it helps to help others. Best wishes for you on your journey!

thomas11

As skybert said, books can be hit and miss, but there are a ton out there if you are willing to take a look.

I'll share my routine. Strenuous exercise 4 times a week, reflecting on my behavior the previous week. Such as, did I do the right things each day, did I get the tasks done that needed to be done, was my moral compass always pointing in the right direction, how many mean or negative thoughts did I have and why (if any). Also I need to be right with myself and on the right side of my higher power. These are things I do weekly.

DriGuy

One would think so, but I don't find it to be a bad experience. In fact, it is just the opposite. Yes, there will be uncomfortable moments thinking about things you would rather not admit. But you have had far more uncomfortable embarrassments from some of the stupid drunk things you've done, and these things you will be looking at can be entirely private, unless you want to talk to someone you trust. Ideally, this would be a counselor or therapist. Some people do this on their own.

The only discomfort I have had were periods of anxiety that came before something unknown was bubbling up from my subconscious. I always feared something horrible was going to show itself, but oddly when it did, it was always accompanied by a feeling of freedom and the excitement of self knowledge. And nothing, absolutely nothing, was horrible once I understood it. Not everyone needs a major overhaul, and you can dig a much or as little as you want and work at a speed that you want. You have a lifetime to do it.

I have read many books on alcoholism and self help. They are all written with good intentions, and I would not reject any one of them on the grounds that they are wrong, bad, or not as good as .... You will find some helpful, and others not so much, but you can't predict which ones will be the most useful to you personally. Something from each will probably resonate and offer something you can use.

And you can find most helpful information in SR. If it's in a book, it's probably something that's been discussed here at one time or another.

DaisyBelle7

Congrats on 10 days! Like you, I wanted to delve into some self examination. I had A LOT of Day 1s under my belt, and was bound and determined to make this time be my final. I know AA isn’t for everyone, but that’s what has really helped me with self examination. All of those people who ticked me off or caused anxiety and I’d use their behavior as an excuse to drink? Well, I’m finding out how I was responsible in those situations. Taking accountability for my own behavior, and letting my resentment of them go has been key. I never imagined I’d get that out of AA.

Anna

Books have been a mainstay for my recovery and we have an extensive list of books compiled by our members:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ependence.html (Books on Recovery, Spirituality & Codependence)

Surrendered19

You won't get terribly uncomfortable delving into yourself by yourself. We protect ourselves because we have to in order to survive. But I still think you can find healing on your own if that is the way you need to figure this out. In my alone time, I work hard on letting go of resentments, finding peace in simple and small things, and trying to accurately identify feelings. Early on, the "boredom" I was feeling was really just quiet and contentment that I was not used to.

Hopingwishing

This is always a topic I struggle with once the initial crisis period post relapse fades. Thanks for asking this marleysmama.

FlyAgain

fini

marleysmama, i found the book “sober by choice” by Martin Nicolaus, founder of Lifering Secular Recovery, a really useful one for self-exploration of my belief systems around alcohol, myself, others, situations, emotions, fears, pressures, expectations...all that.
it is a workbook and asks excellent, open-ended questions. it made me look at areas i had not considered. outside me and inside me.
i found it super-useful in new sobriety.if you are interested, you can order it through www.lifering.org , or at least you can check out more about it there, i believe, though i haven’t looked at the site in quite a while.

Admiral

I would try to drop this expectation. Imagine that you are out shopping and you are carrying dozens of bags full of things. Imagine how difficult it would be to enjoy yourself in that moment with the weight of the bags wearing you down. If you were to put everything down you would marvel at how free you are. The freedom to move and look about unburdened...

This is called "right view" in Buddhism - it's seeing things as they really are instead of through our distorted views. When we apply labels and opinions to things we begin to distort them. If we expect to suffer then surely we will, and in the process we will miss the beautiful things all around us. We can walk, we can see, we can smell, we can hear and we can touch the world around us. We are blessed with all of these things, but it is easy to miss them if we are focused on only one aspect of our being.

One type of meditation is to focus on emotions. Emotions are physical and felt in the body, when you have a craving to drink or act out, pay attention to it. Bring yourself completely into the present moment and focus on the sensations in the body. Where is it felt? How does it feel? This is sometimes called "urge surfing" and is often times mentioned on this forum. When you do this work, do not be judgmental. Drop all opinions and beliefs about what you are feeling, watch it rise up and watch it fade away and dissolve.

Accept anything and everything that comes to you. Do not try to push your feelings or emotions away. These are wounded parts of yourself that are calling out to you. Pay attention to them and feel them as the ever present, unattached observer. If you feel judgmental or angry, observe that as well.

marleysmama

Thank you so very much for all the great advice and support! What I've taken from this is not to worry about it and live in my moment right now. I'm in a good place, I'm proud of myself and I keep learning more and more. I still have symptoms from quitting. Sooo, I'm going to take it easy, enjoy my freedom from alcohol and continue taking care of my physical needs for now. And of course, keep reading!

MM

lessgravity

Although he's gotten bad press (unfounded in my opinion but that's another conversation), I found Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life to be so very valuable to my early sobriety.

D122y

I am sitting here 4 plus years sober. I never went to the Dr. for addiction help.

Sr, the internet, and AA gave me the information I needed.

I am rx drug free so any advice you gleem has that warning label.

It boils down to brain damage. They tell me it is irreversible, hence kindling.

So, I got used to life with what is left of my brain and sanity.

Things are great. The stipulation is: drink again and risk full on mental and physical break down.

Things are better by 1000%. The risk of relapse remains until the day I die.

Thanks.

Dee74

I found looking inward at myself was a natural progression from facing and dealing with life sober.

I thought I was useless and hopeless and found out I was not. I think that's a good starting point?

D