Hitting Rock Bottom
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 985
Hitting Rock Bottom
I did not really understand the phrase "hitting rock bottom." I have been to hundreds of meetings and had lots of consequences (i.e. financial, physical, emotional, work). But it never felt like bottom to me until yesterday.
Yesterday, I hit rock bottom. I was sober for five months and then I thought I had it all figured out. I took one drink at the end of May 2019 and I've been drinking daily since then. Using wine to cope, as I have for three decades of my life.
Now, I do not have a steady job. I do not have health insurance. I do not have a place to live. It is the possible end of my career.
It is normal to have regrets. But I had two wonderful job interviews and now I wonder what it would have been like doing those interviews with months of sobriety versus months of drinking behind me. I did not get those jobs.
Yesterday, I hit rock bottom. I was sober for five months and then I thought I had it all figured out. I took one drink at the end of May 2019 and I've been drinking daily since then. Using wine to cope, as I have for three decades of my life.
Now, I do not have a steady job. I do not have health insurance. I do not have a place to live. It is the possible end of my career.
It is normal to have regrets. But I had two wonderful job interviews and now I wonder what it would have been like doing those interviews with months of sobriety versus months of drinking behind me. I did not get those jobs.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Kerry, Ireland
Posts: 2,703
In my opinion, there is always more to a rock bottom, with the end being death itself.
I hope you can stay on track this time, for me there is no such thing as taking "one drink". Trust me, you don't want to know how far more down the rabbit hole you can go......best of luck
I hope you can stay on track this time, for me there is no such thing as taking "one drink". Trust me, you don't want to know how far more down the rabbit hole you can go......best of luck
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Yep, to me rock bottom is an internal thing. There is ALWAYS another basement floor, til we die.
Hope you will internalize this point - bc believe me, it can and it WILL keep getting worse in ways you can't fathom- if you don't get the message and quit.
Hope you will internalize this point - bc believe me, it can and it WILL keep getting worse in ways you can't fathom- if you don't get the message and quit.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,588
There's a pretty good chance you would have gotten those jobs if you had not been drinking listae. I've wondered same about myself, though now I'm retired.
When sober I feel more confident, good about myself, and this is reflected in the interview. The reverse is true if I have been drinking.
Chin up. This can be the wake up call you've been waiting for. The call that gets you truly sober, and allows for a killer interview next job application.
Each of us hits our own personal rock bottom listae. It's what turns us around to do the work required to lead a good and productive life. A sober life. It's really good, I can assure you, and me only 66 days sober.
You can do this.
When sober I feel more confident, good about myself, and this is reflected in the interview. The reverse is true if I have been drinking.
Chin up.
This can be the wake up call you've been waiting for. The call that gets you truly sober, and allows for a killer interview next job application. Each of us hits our own personal rock bottom listae. It's what turns us around to do the work required to lead a good and productive life. A sober life. It's really good, I can assure you, and me only 66 days sober.
You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 184
I'm sorry. It's a horrible sinking feeling I know, like you're scrambling for grip on the edge of a cliff. I've recently hit a fresh low and I give up. I just can't drink, I've been lucky so far and have to stop doing any more damage and see the next drink as my literal tombstone.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,503
Oh Listae, I'm really sorry that things are so tough for you. I hope you find that there is something you can do to improve your situation, including of course, not drinking. Have faith that you can turn things around.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 368
I've heard hitting a bottom described as the point when you are no longer willing to lose the next thing to alcohol. Also that everyone needs to hit some sort of bottom but you can choose to quit digging anytime. I'm glad you've hit yours and hope you are able to stay sober for good!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 517
Sorry to hear about your new rock bottom.
I think it is very important and very understimated just how much we need to set up a plan for our new life post drinking.
Call it "alcohol replacement therapy" for want of a better phrase.
What can you do to fill the gap ?
Because if history teaches most of us one thing, it would be that if we don't find anything to fill that gap, booze will almost always find a way back.
Every now and then you hear of someone who just says "I quit" and they do, but it's rare.
Most of us have to put in a lot of work and planning.
I think it is very important and very understimated just how much we need to set up a plan for our new life post drinking.
Call it "alcohol replacement therapy" for want of a better phrase.
What can you do to fill the gap ?
Because if history teaches most of us one thing, it would be that if we don't find anything to fill that gap, booze will almost always find a way back.
Every now and then you hear of someone who just says "I quit" and they do, but it's rare.
Most of us have to put in a lot of work and planning.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,157
Originally Posted by listae 
I went to my first SMART Recovery meeting today. It was very helpful. I also saw my addiction therapist again after a long time.
I agree with "rock bottom" being the point that you have had enough.
You can always go lower than where we are at any given point in time.
I have been very fortunate in many aspects of life but my drinking took me to lowest point mentally I wanted to be. That's when I said enough is enough and kicked myself in the ....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
I never understood rock bottom either. It's not like there is bottom where you can't go deeper. At best, there is this sludge that you descend into, where you can't see or breath, and you keep sinking deeper and deeper.
It's not like us alcoholics can't wait until we hit rock bottom so that we can stop drinking, because there is no bottom, and there is no rock. At some point we get sick and tired and start trying to find our way toward the surface, but our feet never went thump on anything solid.
All this to point out that it's just a euphemism for when each one of us turns the corner.
It's not like us alcoholics can't wait until we hit rock bottom so that we can stop drinking, because there is no bottom, and there is no rock. At some point we get sick and tired and start trying to find our way toward the surface, but our feet never went thump on anything solid.
All this to point out that it's just a euphemism for when each one of us turns the corner.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
I think of "bottom" like I do regarding a stock that's been falling in the stock market. Of course, ZERO is the lowest it can get. For us, I assume that would be death although I can think of several things that seem worse.....but that's another discussion.
So anyway, back to a stock price that's dropping. As it's dropping, by default, there's lots of bad news. Bad things are happening, freaking investors out, they sell and that selling drives the price down. Where's the bottom though? Truth is, nobody knows for SURE. The bad news and bad events along the way don't "make" it bottom but they're fuel for the fire as it drops. What leads to a bottom is when the stock stops dropping, buyers (for whatever reason) hit the field and the stock price starts to rise. It's in hindsight that one sees "the bottom." The day it started going up there may not have been any bad news at all. In fact, there was probably good news......news that led to the buying.
I tell this story because in the stockmarket, the entirity of the world's investors as a group determine the bottom... and no individual knows in advance when that will be. With our lives however, we get to choose when that bottom is and the bottom forms not from the result of a bunch of horrible things happening. Instead it is formed when we've begun to incorporate new / healthy behaviors into our lives and we reverse direction.
Like a book I enjoy says though, "many of us had to be pretty badly mangled" before we get fed up and start taking those actions. That said, it's certainly not a requirement to get destroyed over and over and over. We're all able to decide enough is enough and to start taking actions to straighten the mess we've made out.
So anyway, back to a stock price that's dropping. As it's dropping, by default, there's lots of bad news. Bad things are happening, freaking investors out, they sell and that selling drives the price down. Where's the bottom though? Truth is, nobody knows for SURE. The bad news and bad events along the way don't "make" it bottom but they're fuel for the fire as it drops. What leads to a bottom is when the stock stops dropping, buyers (for whatever reason) hit the field and the stock price starts to rise. It's in hindsight that one sees "the bottom." The day it started going up there may not have been any bad news at all. In fact, there was probably good news......news that led to the buying.
I tell this story because in the stockmarket, the entirity of the world's investors as a group determine the bottom... and no individual knows in advance when that will be. With our lives however, we get to choose when that bottom is and the bottom forms not from the result of a bunch of horrible things happening. Instead it is formed when we've begun to incorporate new / healthy behaviors into our lives and we reverse direction.
Like a book I enjoy says though, "many of us had to be pretty badly mangled" before we get fed up and start taking those actions. That said, it's certainly not a requirement to get destroyed over and over and over. We're all able to decide enough is enough and to start taking actions to straighten the mess we've made out.
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