comtnman740

Hey guys,
Well my girlfriend and I are on the rocks right now and it's definately kind of tough. I've been leaning on the program to help get me through. We have dated for a few years and have run into things which have put us at an impasse for now. I introduced her to the Ala-non program about a year ago and she has come to the realization that she needs to work on herself first before continuing on our road together. I'm really bummed because we are an amazing couple but it is what it is. I have to remain patient and focus on myself. I am thankful to be almost 3 years sober because if i was still drinking i would have torched any assemblance of the relationship already. I have tried my best to focus on me and stay in the middle of the pack. Wondered if anyone has any stories to share about "first serious relationships" after getting sober. It's definately not easy!

Garrison

Dee74

I'm sorry for the break up man but you sound like you have a great attitude.

Not trying to be funny but has this made a difference to the biting/itching problems you were having?

comtnman740

Thanks Dee! The itching comes and goes. I have ordered a test from Vetdna which is a company that helps identify allergens in the environment. It's been a process. I joined a facebook group for support. There are ton of people dealing this...pretty wild!

Anna

I'm sorry to hear about your relationship ending, but I know you've come a long way and 3 years of recovery is great. It's good that you've found some support for the allergies and hopefully you can find what is at the root.

nez

I know of a couple where both were alcoholics and they got divorced. Both got into recovery not longer after. In recovery they actually remarried and have been together probably 20 years now. Who knows what the future holds? :~)

Cityboy

That's really a cool story.

I'm almost surprised that my wife didn't pull the plug a couple of times because of my drinking and the behavior that sometimes resulted from it. Four weeks in, we have addressed some of the long standing issues (not all of which fall on me) but there are more things that need to be addressed for the sake of long term stability. At least now I'm not too out of it to talk about things rationally.

least

Sending hugs to you and my prayers that you find some peace of mind.

Bonnefond87

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Relationships are so difficult sometimes. I am also at nearly three years (with a brief relapse) and I also have an itching problem, at night, under the covers!. I only ever sleep in the same bed so that's different but my water bill has risen a lot with the amount of washing and extra rinsing I do. I am now investigating the dietary route with an elimination diet.
I feel for you - it's not nice. And it's exhausting. Let's hope we can find a solution.

DaisyBelle7

I’m sorry for the troubles you are facing, but am glad to hear you are staying sober through it. My relationship is a little different... we’ve been married for 16 years. I’ve been a binge drinker through all of them (except during pregnancy). He’s someone who can have 1 or 2 and stop. When I got sober this time, I was disappointed that he wasn’t as excited as I was. My sponsor gently pointed out that’s probably because he’s seen me have a lot of Day 1s.

As hard as it is, I think it’s a good thing that your girlfriend wants to work on herself. It’s better that you two come back together as two wholes when/if you’re both up to it. My relationship isn’t stellar, but now we have to work through it together since we’re married. I wish I would’ve seen the light years ago, but it is what it is. I hope you two find your way back to each other in the future.

DriGuy

Relationships are like that. How's that for stating the obvious? I'm sorry you're going through this. I think I would put things on the back burner for now, since you obviously have little control over the situation, anyway, and just allow things to unfold, even if it doesn't unfold the way you want. If you are meant to be together, you will get back together. I hate that I sound like I'm throwing out a cliche', but I'm serious about that.

I've seen many of my own relationships fail. It's a crummy experience, but here I am, about as happy as I could imagine being. You survived alcohol. You are a survivor. You are going to be fine.

comtnman740

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I'm going through some major anger and self pity today. I was walking down the street and felt like throwing my coffee. I need to get to a meeting today.

DreamCatcher17

on 01/01 I split from my Fiance.
It sucks
I have some growing to do and so does he.
We are still talking, not as much or like we used to, rather supporting each other. We may end up back together or we may not. All I know is I have some things to work out on my own and I can't have someone else in my energetic fields.

comtnman740

Thanks DreamCatcher 17 it's nice to see a familiar face on here. You think you're all alone with these struggles but everyone goes through relationship woes. I'll pray that you and your Fiance both find some peace and clarity. It's not easy and i definately feel like it's the trudging part of sobriety. I'm on no contact with Dana right now. It's extremely hard because we moved up to Fort Collins together last year and have basically built a friendship/relationship. Seeing it in this state cut's me to the bone. Well i guess we can only take care of ourselves. God grant me the serenity to accept the things i can not change and the courage to change the things i can. Cheers to the Class of 2017!

brighterday1234