im 20 years old. Not sure if I’m truly an alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 1
im 20 years old. Not sure if I’m truly an alcoholic
I always liked drinking and never really had a problem.
when I was a sophomore in high school I was taken to the hospital and had a .25 BAC. I was confused and surprised because I didn’t think I would ever get that drunk. No more incidents liked that happened after for years. The rest of high school I only ever blacked out one other time as a senior.
once I went to college I started drinking on the weekends like everyone else and was having a good time. Then one night I woke up and had no idea how I got home. Was confused and brushed it off. Then it started happening more frequently on the weekends then became an every weekend thing that I didn’t really care about because I made it back. I started to drink heavy amounts of alcohol throughout the week sometimes being the only one to get drunk certain days. I started passing out at parties and not remembering anything. When I talked to my friends about it they wouldn’t think anything of it and just say it’s normal for some people. But now usually I black out every time I drink and just never really know when’s enough. I ruined a relationship with a close friend. I started making others angry about my habits. Later sophomore year of college I woke up in the hospital and had no idea how I got there. I went clean for around 3-4 weeks before drinking again. It was a one night thing after finals is what I told myself. I handled it well and did not have anything come from it. Then later I started to indulge like my old habits and right when I got back to school I started to drink 5 days out of the week and may have been blacking out consistently or it was just hazy. The most recent incident left me on very bad terms with one of my relationships. My parents want to send me to rehab but I don’t know if I am a full blown alcoholic or just some dumb college kid that doesn’t know when to stop drinking at a certain point.
I don’t want to think I’m an alcoholic at such a young age but the amount of times I’ve blacked out is far too numerous for me to even count at this point. I know I should stop drinking but I’m not sure if I would be able to just quit completely because after a while I just have such a strong desire to go straight back. It’s just me telling myself. I dont know what I’m so worried about I’m in college it’s what people do. I still get all of my classes done and am mostly consistent with classes so I’m not sure what to think. I know I have a problem but I don’t know if I’m an alcoholic.
when I was a sophomore in high school I was taken to the hospital and had a .25 BAC. I was confused and surprised because I didn’t think I would ever get that drunk. No more incidents liked that happened after for years. The rest of high school I only ever blacked out one other time as a senior.
once I went to college I started drinking on the weekends like everyone else and was having a good time. Then one night I woke up and had no idea how I got home. Was confused and brushed it off. Then it started happening more frequently on the weekends then became an every weekend thing that I didn’t really care about because I made it back. I started to drink heavy amounts of alcohol throughout the week sometimes being the only one to get drunk certain days. I started passing out at parties and not remembering anything. When I talked to my friends about it they wouldn’t think anything of it and just say it’s normal for some people. But now usually I black out every time I drink and just never really know when’s enough. I ruined a relationship with a close friend. I started making others angry about my habits. Later sophomore year of college I woke up in the hospital and had no idea how I got there. I went clean for around 3-4 weeks before drinking again. It was a one night thing after finals is what I told myself. I handled it well and did not have anything come from it. Then later I started to indulge like my old habits and right when I got back to school I started to drink 5 days out of the week and may have been blacking out consistently or it was just hazy. The most recent incident left me on very bad terms with one of my relationships. My parents want to send me to rehab but I don’t know if I am a full blown alcoholic or just some dumb college kid that doesn’t know when to stop drinking at a certain point.
I don’t want to think I’m an alcoholic at such a young age but the amount of times I’ve blacked out is far too numerous for me to even count at this point. I know I should stop drinking but I’m not sure if I would be able to just quit completely because after a while I just have such a strong desire to go straight back. It’s just me telling myself. I dont know what I’m so worried about I’m in college it’s what people do. I still get all of my classes done and am mostly consistent with classes so I’m not sure what to think. I know I have a problem but I don’t know if I’m an alcoholic.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Welcome JL!! I don’t like to put labels on myself or anyone else as what you want to call it is totally up to the individual. However, if you continue to do something despite the fact it is causing negative consequences, ruining relationships etc then it’s a problem. I wish I had tackled my drinking earlier in life when I experienced similar patterns that you are describing but I didn’t. Have a look round the site and read up on alcohol issues, check out some of the threads others have posted too. Reading around certainly helped me realise that I needed to fix my problem and the support of others here helped me do that.
All the best and hope you stick around xx
All the best and hope you stick around xx
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
Weclome to the forum. It really does not matter if you are an "alcoholic". Based on your post it is clear that alcohol is not your friend. I hope you can realize this sooner rather than later.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 353
I would say to see a doctor and see what is happening with the blackouts. There may be another underlying condition and that is for a doctor to see and check you out and diagnose.
I can say from my experience I have only ever passed out from drinking on very few occasions. But that is me and everybody is different.
But welcome and glad you are here.
I can say from my experience I have only ever passed out from drinking on very few occasions. But that is me and everybody is different.
But welcome and glad you are here.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
Hi and welcome JL234
yeah alcoholism is no respecter of age.
If you're worried about your drinking, its been causing you balckouts and destroying friendships, to the point you've seeking out a site like ours, I think you have something to worry about.
Sure college kids drink a lot but I've heard it said 'I didn't get into trouble every time I drank, but every time I got into trouble I was drinking'.
I identify with that in a major way.
Most college kids aren't like that. Most college kids don't have the need or the want or the obsession - the thirst - to drink
Most kids won't keep drinking when bad things happen from their drinking.
There good news is tho - you're not alone - we;re here for you
D
yeah alcoholism is no respecter of age.
If you're worried about your drinking, its been causing you balckouts and destroying friendships, to the point you've seeking out a site like ours, I think you have something to worry about.
Sure college kids drink a lot but I've heard it said 'I didn't get into trouble every time I drank, but every time I got into trouble I was drinking'.
I identify with that in a major way.
Most college kids aren't like that. Most college kids don't have the need or the want or the obsession - the thirst - to drink
Most kids won't keep drinking when bad things happen from their drinking.
There good news is tho - you're not alone - we;re here for you
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
You could take another 10 yrs like I did, still in denial
about having a drinking problem until I turned 30 and
family had to step in an place me into the hands of those
capable of teaching me about alcohol addiction and its
affects on my own mind and body as well as those around
me.
I was suppose to stay in a rehab facility for 2 weeks
before release, but at that time they told me, if I returned
home to the same environment then id surely drink
again. At that point they wanted to send me off to a
halfway house for 6 weeks away from my little family.
I begged and pleaded to stay where I was and complete
a 28 day rehab stay with a 6 week outpatient aftercare
program in which I did complete both, listening, learning,
absorbing and applying the tools and knowledge given
me to begin building a strong solid recovery foundation
to live upon for yrs ahead of me.
You could wing it and keep falling back into old behaviors
with drinking or you could go to school and learn about
alcohol addiction and why it affects many folks and many
that dont.
Once you learn why this happens then you will realize
that addiction is serious and from what ive learned over
the past 29 yrs sober, addiction continues to affect and
take out more folks than I can count.
Once you are armed with this knowledge then you
will embrace living a recovery life knowing that you
are not alone and continue to achieve those goals
in life you want to achieve instead of wasting 10 or
more yrs throwing it down the potty.
Yes you are young, and yes there are many who did
stop the addiction as early in life as you and have gone
on to live productive lives with many of lifes amazing
gifts and rewards.
about having a drinking problem until I turned 30 and
family had to step in an place me into the hands of those
capable of teaching me about alcohol addiction and its
affects on my own mind and body as well as those around
me.
I was suppose to stay in a rehab facility for 2 weeks
before release, but at that time they told me, if I returned
home to the same environment then id surely drink
again. At that point they wanted to send me off to a
halfway house for 6 weeks away from my little family.
I begged and pleaded to stay where I was and complete
a 28 day rehab stay with a 6 week outpatient aftercare
program in which I did complete both, listening, learning,
absorbing and applying the tools and knowledge given
me to begin building a strong solid recovery foundation
to live upon for yrs ahead of me.
You could wing it and keep falling back into old behaviors
with drinking or you could go to school and learn about
alcohol addiction and why it affects many folks and many
that dont.
Once you learn why this happens then you will realize
that addiction is serious and from what ive learned over
the past 29 yrs sober, addiction continues to affect and
take out more folks than I can count.
Once you are armed with this knowledge then you
will embrace living a recovery life knowing that you
are not alone and continue to achieve those goals
in life you want to achieve instead of wasting 10 or
more yrs throwing it down the potty.
Yes you are young, and yes there are many who did
stop the addiction as early in life as you and have gone
on to live productive lives with many of lifes amazing
gifts and rewards.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I would rather think I am an alky and be wrong vs think I am normal and be wrong.
The addiction is fierce when the body is strong. The insideous mental and physical damage have yet to develop the strength to cause the insanity and limitations.
Thanks.
The addiction is fierce when the body is strong. The insideous mental and physical damage have yet to develop the strength to cause the insanity and limitations.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 368
I think using the term "full blown alcoholic" can keep people from ever trying to get help. Most use that term to describe a person that drinks from the time they get up until the time they pass out. There are many definitions of what an alcoholic is (or even a potential alcoholic for that matter). I like this one from the AA book: (I'm paraphrasing here) An alcoholic is someone who cannot quit drinking when they want to, or cannot control the amount they drink. Really the only person who can decide is you. Others will downplay your drinking to justify their own, or out of sheer denial that someone they know is an alcoholic (because not being able to control drinking is a taboo when you suddenly give that a name).
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,178
You may not be old enough to have a full blown dependency, but drinking the way you are is just about 100% chance that you'll get there if you continue.
You have dangerous/problematic drinking habits. If it were me, at a minimum, I would say I had an Alcohol Use Disorder and something I should try to address.
You're in the right place though and there are many like you...including myself. I'm not sure I'll ever "know" if I'm an alcoholic, but I know I can't control my drinking when I start and it's caused problems with my health and family. I don't need to know if I'm an alcoholic to know that's enough for me to want to change.
You have dangerous/problematic drinking habits. If it were me, at a minimum, I would say I had an Alcohol Use Disorder and something I should try to address.
You're in the right place though and there are many like you...including myself. I'm not sure I'll ever "know" if I'm an alcoholic, but I know I can't control my drinking when I start and it's caused problems with my health and family. I don't need to know if I'm an alcoholic to know that's enough for me to want to change.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Its a tough age and environment to combat alcoholism, but can be done. And is done all over the world. The simple fact you are questioning your drinking habits is a step in the right direction. I wish you the best. You don't have to be part of the "herd".
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I wish someone had sent me to rehab at age 20. I drank like you do and it continued to get worse through my twenties. When I did finally quit there had been a lot of damage done to my once-healthy and beautiful body by my drinking and poor choices while drinking.
This type of drinking never gets better, and it will get progressively worse. I found I had a compulsion to keep the party going once I started. That became a daily thing and then I just went with it until there was chaos and misery woven through my whole life.
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
It is far better on the sober side. Welcome to the forum. I hope you find a way to quit before your health and future are ruined.
This type of drinking never gets better, and it will get progressively worse. I found I had a compulsion to keep the party going once I started. That became a daily thing and then I just went with it until there was chaos and misery woven through my whole life.
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
It is far better on the sober side. Welcome to the forum. I hope you find a way to quit before your health and future are ruined.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
First off, it is pretty amazing that you are even exploring this issue at such a young age. It shows wisdom and strength. Second, it is not important what you call this thing. What is important is identifying a substance and looking at what effect it is having on your life. If you were allergic to egg plant and you started flopping around on the floor and blacking out when you ate it, you'd certainly stop eating egg plant. Same with booze really. It is causing you some MAJOR life problems, hurting relationships, hurting your body and young mind. I think you need to get assessed by some professionals and I think you need to LISTEN to their advice. OK??
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
I never liked the word alcoholic and it was never a word in my vocabulary. I knew I had a problem that was affecting my relationships and causing other problems for me and I knew I needed to stop. That sounds a lot like you. The 20's are a great time of life. It would seem to me they will be a lot greater if you are sober. I'm not sure what the terms "full blown alcoholic"or "full blown dependency" even mean. It's just not normal to drink to the point of blacking out or drink to the point of where you have a BAC of .25. Pay attention to what people are saying here and especially what biminiblue has. Read that one several times.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Alcoholic is just a term. What's important is what happens to you when you drink. Can you stop when you want to, do you blackout, are your relationships suffering, is alcohol causing problems at school/work? If so, stopping drinking is the thing to do.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 517
An inability to control the amount you drink is a key indicator.
The other things we commonly associate with "alcoholism" like drinking the next morning, drinking 7 days a week etc ... They come later.
But what you're doing is exactly how it starts.
Someone once said to me "we all think the homeless guy, drinking from a brown paper bag, with a grey beard, sleeping rough, is the 'real alcoholic' but what we forget is, he was once a guy with the world at his feet too, friends, family, a job, he didn't just wake up one day, asleep on a bench, it was a long slow decline ..... that's why it can be so hard to get younger people to change, they all think, I'll never let it get THAT bad and you know that's exactly what the homeless guy drinking from the bag thought too"
The other things we commonly associate with "alcoholism" like drinking the next morning, drinking 7 days a week etc ... They come later.
But what you're doing is exactly how it starts.
Someone once said to me "we all think the homeless guy, drinking from a brown paper bag, with a grey beard, sleeping rough, is the 'real alcoholic' but what we forget is, he was once a guy with the world at his feet too, friends, family, a job, he didn't just wake up one day, asleep on a bench, it was a long slow decline ..... that's why it can be so hard to get younger people to change, they all think, I'll never let it get THAT bad and you know that's exactly what the homeless guy drinking from the bag thought too"
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: DFW area, Texas
Posts: 521
Hey JL, glad you posted...it's clear you have put a good deal of thought into your situation. Like others, being called an alcoholic or not to me isn't the most important part. Rather it's how drinking in general, whether occasionally or several days during the week, affects your life and health. Kinda like other things like eating too much junk food or perhaps not exercising...each has its impact on a person. For me I've had to make the decision that alcohol is at least a nuisance in my life and likely much more than that, so I have to quit for good. Like others I've had a lot of false starts (just like regular exercise as that took me a while to implement). And hey you are 20, what a great time to intercept it!
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,822
Full-blown? Who can say , regardless of what that may even mean.
The question is what are you going to do about being a black out drunk.
I was and lived with it for far too long and for absolutely no benefit , 100 % net negative. I absolutely loved intoxication the whole time , that in and of itself did not one thing in the way of being a positive factor on the net balance.
It’s great you are questioning your actions, I did too at your age , but I didn’t DO anything about til decades later and for no reason other than more booze.
The question is what are you going to do about being a black out drunk.
I was and lived with it for far too long and for absolutely no benefit , 100 % net negative. I absolutely loved intoxication the whole time , that in and of itself did not one thing in the way of being a positive factor on the net balance.
It’s great you are questioning your actions, I did too at your age , but I didn’t DO anything about til decades later and for no reason other than more booze.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,037
I hear so much of my 20 year old self in your post, I only wish I had been as wise as you and reflected on how much of a problem my drinking was, instead I drank on and off for the next 25 years.
I know I missed out on my activities at college because I spent my time at parties or bars. You have the opportunity to stop drinking now, and have an amazing sober life. If your parents are willing and able to send you to rehab it would give you the opportunity to reset and refocus.
I know it seems like everyone around you is drinking, but there are many kids who aren’t, and it’s definitely worth exploring some other things college can offer you.
This website is also a great resource. I hope you’ll continue to post here.
❤️Delilah
I know I missed out on my activities at college because I spent my time at parties or bars. You have the opportunity to stop drinking now, and have an amazing sober life. If your parents are willing and able to send you to rehab it would give you the opportunity to reset and refocus.
I know it seems like everyone around you is drinking, but there are many kids who aren’t, and it’s definitely worth exploring some other things college can offer you.
This website is also a great resource. I hope you’ll continue to post here.
❤️Delilah
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: UK
Posts: 1,327
To be honest I wish someone had told me at that age. You are indeed! Maybe AA has some young people's meetings near you so you can meet up with similarly-aged folks in the same boat. Also just go to any old one and after listening a bit I'd be surprised if you disagree. Maybe you don't wanna think you're an alcoholic but the road to recovery's long enough without all this semantic denial stuff, trust me.
But it's on you now, you came to a recovery forum. And recovery's gonna be your new favourite word, I can almost feel it...
But it's on you now, you came to a recovery forum. And recovery's gonna be your new favourite word, I can almost feel it...
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