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Every stinking time!

Old 02-08-2020, 07:32 PM
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Every stinking time!

Why on earth is my very first thought, when I encounter one of those gut punch emotions, to drink?!? It just happened again. So, now I have to battle myself to not go with the old standby. Just once, it would be nice to say, have the thought "Man, I really want to go get on that treadmill and run 5 miles." Ugh...
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Old 02-08-2020, 07:39 PM
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I think it's really great that you didn't go to "old standby". It takes time to find new ways of being.
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Old 02-08-2020, 07:40 PM
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Work, time and sobriety changes that for good. You never have to go back.
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Old 02-08-2020, 07:47 PM
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It does get easier - we change and so do our impulsive reactions. Its early days yet but you're doing really well Kjma - you got through - that's the main thing

D
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Old 02-08-2020, 08:00 PM
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You'll get there. It takes some time -- you might be sick as heck about everyone telling you to be patient -- but every baby step you take and every impulse you don't give in to takes you closer to longterm sobriety, a clear conscience, and joy in life.
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Old 02-08-2020, 08:04 PM
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But you didn’t drink, you came here and posted, that’s huge! Who knows, hopping on the treadmill may happen next week!
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Old 02-08-2020, 08:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Delilah1 View Post
But you didn’t drink, you came here and posted, that’s huge! Who knows, hopping on the treadmill may happen next week!
Lol! Lofty aspirations for sure! 😉
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Old 02-08-2020, 08:14 PM
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So, I just read an article that may be useful to me and others who attempt to escape negative emotions. It said to look at them as the signals for change that they are. What was the source of the negative emotion? What do you need to change? Also, that negative emotions aren't bad; they're just signals. Very interesting.....
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Old 02-08-2020, 08:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Kjma View Post
negative emotions. It said to look at them as the signals for change that they are..
For me, *any* emotion was a change. From zombie-ness of being a drunk.

And I'll never want to get on a treadmill
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Old 02-08-2020, 08:39 PM
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I found/find it hard to get a feeling up too courage. Learning to identify my real feelings, not being afraid of them so much. No longer drowning them in alcohol.

Legit feelings. Human.

It is very interesting Kjma. The exploration and acceptance of all our feeling states. Very interesting indeed. This sober business has got a lot going for it.
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Old 02-08-2020, 08:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Kjma View Post
"Man, I really want to go get on that treadmill and run 5 miles."
I think you just answered your own question here. Exercise is good. Exercise is great, actually.
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Old 02-08-2020, 08:51 PM
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Completely normal to have cravings early on. Awesome that you came here instead of acting on it. Make sure you're not hungry, thirsty or tired.

Cravings do decrease over time. My thoughts never turns to alcohol now when I'm stressed either physically or mentally.
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Old 02-08-2020, 09:02 PM
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Originally Posted by FeelingGreat View Post
Completely normal to have cravings early on. Awesome that you came here instead of acting on it. Make sure you're not hungry, thirsty or tired.

Cravings do decrease over time. My thoughts never turns to alcohol now when I'm stressed either physically or mentally.
I do hope to get there some day. Right now, I'm just so very thankful that I have this site to go to when they do arise. The comments and advice have been exactly what I've needed to get past them. You all are just wonderful! I dont know who began this site, but wow! How many people it must help every day! So thankful to that person!
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Old 02-08-2020, 10:19 PM
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I thought my craves were forever.

Thankfully, they are gone lately.

I suffered like hell. I knew from about day 100 I had permanent brain damage.

When I recently excepted my mental and physical issues, I felt better.

If feels good.to be a non drinker. It feels right .

Suffering and exercise were my way out.

Thanks.
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Old 02-08-2020, 11:52 PM
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I feel the same way that whenever I would experience extreme stress and emotion from depression and anxiety the first thing I turned to was drinking or the thought of a drink. I still do being that I am on my first day of trying to get sober and I think about a drink multiples times each hour when I feel a stressful emotion but I just have to focus on diverting it to something more positive. Like you said, I am so glad to have this forum available with so many wonderful people like yourself all going through similar experiences trying to recover.
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Old 02-09-2020, 01:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Kjma View Post
Why on earth is my very first thought, when I encounter one of those gut punch emotions, to drink?!? It just happened again. So, now I have to battle myself to not go with the old standby. Just once, it would be nice to say, have the thought "Man, I really want to go get on that treadmill and run 5 miles." Ugh..
The old standby becomes a learned default response, and it's easy to learn because reaching for a bottle requires no creativity. It requires no learning to drink and swallow. You just do it and allow whatever it does to you to think you're getting away from your emotional gut punch. And as you keep relying on it, it comes up with a punch of it's own where you begin to feel edgy and off when you don't drink. At that point, you are drinking because you need to drink, rather than because your emotions took a punch.

Frankly, I never found any emotional relief from alcohol, but I did find a tremendous amount of relief from cravings to drink, even though taking a drink set off an immediate craving for a second drink and a third, etc. I would become engaged in drinking and craving to drink more. I had something to do. How satisfying (Sarc). Maybe that helped me not think about my emotions, but they were always still there when I woke up the next morning, along with a load of guilt and sense of hopelessness.

You're in a vicious cycle responding to a gut punch with a response that doesn't help, but being determined, you keep responding with the same unhelpful response. It's only one manifestation of alcoholism, but you can change this. Not drinking is the first step. It's bothersome at first, but when the cravings subside, and they will, you will begin to see your way out of the cycle. Then you have to learn to never reenter the cycle expecting new results from a response you have already proven to be useless and dangerous.
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Old 02-09-2020, 05:41 AM
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Kjma, I agree, out of the blue cravings suck. I had one at work Friday afternoon. I don’t even know what triggered it to tell you the truth. But, after about 20 minutes of forcing myself to focus on a boring conference call it went away. Rest of the day was easy.

Just take a breath and find a distraction.

Congrats on not caving! You rock!
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Old 02-09-2020, 06:33 AM
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I try and get consumed with the thought of how I'm going to feel after a run.

I've learned to love single digit or negative wind chills, triple digit heat indexes, rain, or whatever. It's a privilege to have the health to be able to get out and run in this.

I'm old school so I stretch before. All I really have to do is start stretching out, that's it. One stretch will follow the other and once I'm dressed and ready to go I've pretty much beaten the drink for now.

Do I really feel like going to the liquor store? Stand in line, talk to people, what a hassle. I'm so nuts that even parking lots stress me out. It would be so much easier to just drive straight home.

It's actually easier going to stores for groceries and normal people stuff after a run. After a run I can or sometimes even look foward to dealing with people.
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Old 02-09-2020, 07:00 AM
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Just to echo what everyone else said.
You will get there.
We didn't become drunks overnight and we won't beat it overnight.

Good on you for posting and fighting.

Reading up on the AV has helped me.

This is your enemy. You must know your enemy in order to defeat your enemy.
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Old 02-09-2020, 07:14 AM
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