Day One
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 4
Day One
This morning when it was still dark I poured a 63 dollar bottle of crown royal canadian whisky down the toilet. I am tired of being sick and tired. I want a real life. I had 7 years of sobriety and it all went down the drain 5 years ago. I have had periods where I did not drink for months then weeks then days and it just kept getting worse and worse. Someone told me I need to work with other alcoholics to maintain recovery. I will try to do that . It is tough when the world is not the same as it was at the beginning of those 7 years. My higher power is God and I will really need him this time to keep sober and sane.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Welcome regnevacs!
Sounds like you are committed to giving this a good go. I'm new to recovery, but from my experience, this is a great forum to get support, download thoughts, get ideas and communicate with a great bunch of people that really understand.
Keep reading and posting how you are doing!
Sounds like you are committed to giving this a good go. I'm new to recovery, but from my experience, this is a great forum to get support, download thoughts, get ideas and communicate with a great bunch of people that really understand.
Keep reading and posting how you are doing!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
I'm so glad you found us, regnevacs. Welcome.
Here you'll find understanding & encouragement from those who know exactly how you feel.
I felt like you did when I came here after drinking 30 yrs. I tried every trick to moderate the amounts I drank - was desperate to not give it up. But why? I was so afraid to face life without my buffer - but it was destroying me. There was no more fun - just misery and chaos.
You sound ready - you can do it! It'll be great to be free.
Here you'll find understanding & encouragement from those who know exactly how you feel.
I felt like you did when I came here after drinking 30 yrs. I tried every trick to moderate the amounts I drank - was desperate to not give it up. But why? I was so afraid to face life without my buffer - but it was destroying me. There was no more fun - just misery and chaos.
You sound ready - you can do it! It'll be great to be free.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Woodburn, OR
Posts: 422
Welcome! We're so glad that you are here. I agree with who told you about working with other alcoholics to stay sober. I too, have been struggleing the lat couple years and the recent game changer has been keeping close to this forum, going to my meetings and staying connected to other sober people. Even if it's just a hello text- it really helps. Have a great sober weekend!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
It's amazing how much we are willing to spend on alcohol when we are drinking. It's almost as if it's a mandatory expense. Welcome to Day 1 regnevacs. (I enjoy typing in these user names and seeing what autocorrect tries to change them to).
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 293
Hi Reg and welcome. This is the place you want to be if you are looking for help.
Ugh, looking at those pictures reminds me of the lowest days of my drinking when I would wake up in the very early hours of the morning feeling like death. I would have a bottle of whiskey beside my bed and with shaking hands I would take a few big gulps then lie back and hope I didn't promptly bring it back up again. Although I wasn't drinking the expensive stuff and that point. Basically as cheap as I could get because I wasn't drinking for the taste.
Ugh, looking at those pictures reminds me of the lowest days of my drinking when I would wake up in the very early hours of the morning feeling like death. I would have a bottle of whiskey beside my bed and with shaking hands I would take a few big gulps then lie back and hope I didn't promptly bring it back up again. Although I wasn't drinking the expensive stuff and that point. Basically as cheap as I could get because I wasn't drinking for the taste.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Welcome to the forums, and back to sobriety.
You had seven years, you can do it again.
I found working with other alcoholics here and in AA to be a life saver.
God is my higher power, also. I prayed for his help over eleven years ago and haven't found the need to consume alcohol since.
You can quit. We can help. Stick around, and remember, you never have to drink again.
You had seven years, you can do it again.
I found working with other alcoholics here and in AA to be a life saver.
God is my higher power, also. I prayed for his help over eleven years ago and haven't found the need to consume alcohol since.
You can quit. We can help. Stick around, and remember, you never have to drink again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 4
Day 2 don't have any jitters except a slight tremor in my left hand. Hope that goes away. Through my many attempts at not drinking over the last year I noticed that tremor. We'll see I see my doctor on thursday. I will probably mention it to him. Thanks for all the support. I was not getting anything like that in counselling or addictions counselling. All I got was a blank stare when I mentioned God. I must have fired 8 counsellors. Because of the Govt here in canada they are not allowed to have an opinion or talk about God. How are people going to recover then if they believe in God? I am very glad I found this forum. I don't mean to say anything bad about the Church I go to but they have had a program to help people with addictions. And twice when I started the program it abruptly ended because I ended up the only one left and it was supposed to be a group. I have been through their program before about 11 years ago and there were 14 people there. What has happened? Do people not want to get better any more? So again I am glad that this forum is here. I used to go to aa meetings but even those meetings no matter where I would go are not the same as they were 12 or 13 years ago. Very disappointing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 62
Welcome to the forum regnevacs. I have been able to find comfort in reading literature either here or by finding books on the topic, if that is at all helpful. I haven't tried going to a meeting yet but I do know for sure that there is a 12 step book out there for just about every flavor of religion (or lack thereof). I know that's not the same as going to a meeting in person, but I hope that it's helpful. This community is a huge help to me too - check in and let us know how it's going often.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I am definitely interested in mobbing up with other non drinkers.
Thankfully my wife barely drinks, although when she does she is up to almost a full glass of real wine these days.
Before it was half a wine cooler.
Based on my expert experience , at that rate she should be about 150 before her addiction escalates to my level at 12 years old.
Being a non drinker is what all the real cool folks are in to.
Yay!
Thanks.
Thankfully my wife barely drinks, although when she does she is up to almost a full glass of real wine these days.
Before it was half a wine cooler.
Based on my expert experience , at that rate she should be about 150 before her addiction escalates to my level at 12 years old.
Being a non drinker is what all the real cool folks are in to.
Yay!
Thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 4
Day 3. Slept quite well last night. Just wondering I think this group is based out of the US? So is it an issue that I am in Canada? Just wondering. It seems much easier to find the right kind of support in the US than here in canada any feedback would be helpful. 
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