The Things I Told Myself
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Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,643
The Things I Told Myself
...you're a worthless loser.
...you're a toxic unemployable alcoholic.
...you're a worthless piece of ****.
...you have no friends.
...you'll die alone.
...you should just kill yourself.
I doubt these thoughts were unique to me. And it causes me to understand why so many alcoholics / addicts relapse. That negative self talk is dangerous and our addiction can feed on it.
And guess what, those thoughts are at best exaggerations. It's just that active alcoholism and drug use tends to cause problems everywhere in your life AND it tends to cause mental health issues or exaggerate existing mental health issues. That's a battle that no one could win if they keep fighting it by engaging their addiction. Just stop the fight already.
I'd like to say I never have those thoughts today, but it's not true. Every once in a while one or two of them sneak in. But that's a lot different than when I was drinking / withdrawing. They were constant in that state.
I hope this helps someone.
...you're a toxic unemployable alcoholic.
...you're a worthless piece of ****.
...you have no friends.
...you'll die alone.
...you should just kill yourself.
I doubt these thoughts were unique to me. And it causes me to understand why so many alcoholics / addicts relapse. That negative self talk is dangerous and our addiction can feed on it.
And guess what, those thoughts are at best exaggerations. It's just that active alcoholism and drug use tends to cause problems everywhere in your life AND it tends to cause mental health issues or exaggerate existing mental health issues. That's a battle that no one could win if they keep fighting it by engaging their addiction. Just stop the fight already.
I'd like to say I never have those thoughts today, but it's not true. Every once in a while one or two of them sneak in. But that's a lot different than when I was drinking / withdrawing. They were constant in that state.
I hope this helps someone.
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Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
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Great thread. At the height of my cycle of stress/anxiety and drinking myself into a coma, I was having thoughts along the lines of how it wouldn't be so bad if something happened due to poor health from drinking or having a terrible accident while drunk driving. Of course the stress factors are still there, but dealing with them is so much easier without alcohol compounding the problem.
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Chris, you're right, I think a lot of us here, me included, have had those thoughts. It took me awhile before I could challenge my thinking and change my beliefs. Thanks for this post.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
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And I had to realize that, as I got sober, I had played the victim big time. Self-pity and the vicious cycle of my self talk was constantly putting myself in the victim role. Sober, I'm not a victim at all.
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Join Date: Aug 2016
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Originally Posted by August252015 
And I had to realize that, as I got sober, I had played the victim big time. Self-pity and the vicious cycle of my self talk was constantly putting myself in the victim role. Sober, I'm not a victim at all.
And I'm sooooo much more clear-headed. Sometimes I even feel intelligent
I made a lot of financial mistakes in my 20's and I'm paying for them now. I was drinking the whole time. Alcoholism is the costliest liability I have if I'm drinking. Not just the money I spend on alcohol, but also the hit to my health, mental health, employability, etc.
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