Hello I’m new here
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 2
Hello I’m new here
Every single morning I wake up and say “I’ve got to stop drinking”. I have put reminders in my phone, sent myself emails, sticky notes, articles, about all the reasons I need to stop. And I have one big reason in front of me every single day and that is my son. I am a single mom and business owner and I feel stressed out ALL the time...as I know many do. The worst part of this is that I was actually married to an alcoholic. It’s one of the biggest reasons that our marriage didn’t work. I never thought I would find myself in this position, but I cannot seem to make it every one day weigh out a drink. If I do happen to make it, I’m so cranky and all I can think about is when I can drink again. I have had a lot of trauma in the last few years, mostly the past 8 months, but this has just gotten out of control. I’ve realized I cannot do this on my own but I feel I cannot seek treatment in fear of losing custody of my son. My son is also old enough now to notice mommy with a drink in her hand every night and this really disturbs me. I am so ashamed and disgusted with myself. I eat healthy and do CrossFit yet I cannot stop drinking. I constantly pray and beg for Gods help and I just keep doing it. I hope that someone here can provide guidance for where I am and some sort of encouragement of how to make this work. I don’t drink ridiculous amounts. Just enough to get me nice and buzzed and then sleep. But it’s EVERY day. If anyone has any suggestions, tips or tricks or just words of support, I’d sure appreciate it! Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
Thank you and welcome. You will find a lot of support for you here at SR, and soon. You have the courage to post and you already are getting help and being helpful. Explore the site especially the newcomer threads. Quit drinking, get support. You are on your way.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,178
Welcome! My children are a huge part of why I am hear too. If that’s providing motivation for you to be here, hold onto that and keep posting.
imagine how good you’ll feel from your workouts and eating if you aren’t sabotaging them with booze. It’s probably not a coincidence that my runs lately have felt so much better!
imagine how good you’ll feel from your workouts and eating if you aren’t sabotaging them with booze. It’s probably not a coincidence that my runs lately have felt so much better!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 622
Welcome!
I didn't stop until I didn't want to drink more then I wanted to drink.
I lost a lot in the process and made poor choices that involve d the police more then a care to remember.
I'm so happy to have 2xx days behind me and just work it one day/min at a time as needed.
You can do this.
I didn't stop until I didn't want to drink more then I wanted to drink.
I lost a lot in the process and made poor choices that involve d the police more then a care to remember.
I'm so happy to have 2xx days behind me and just work it one day/min at a time as needed.
You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 222
Welcome! I'm new myself but wanted to take a moment to encourage you to continue posting-- I think what is going to help me is to keep hearing people cheer me on. Sounds as though you aren't likely to seek that kind of encouragement in your personal circle, same boat I'm in, so this might be the place. Eventually, maybe the both of us will be willing to expose our drinking problem to those in our inner circle without the fear of losing big. Take heart! You've made this important step forward!! Make a plan for what you'll do instead when that craving hits tonight.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 18
Hello and welcome to your new journey toward recovery. As others have said, reading and posting here on SR will allow you to feel connected and encouraged. It has helped me a lot.
I wanted to share some words posted by someone else that I copied into a personal note and that I look at every few hours (every time I want a drink). These words have helped me as a parent to two young children and as a struggling (but hopefully recovering) alcoholic.
I apologize I can’t find the original author or thread, it was a few years old, but basically...
”Because I am an addict for life, like everyone else here, I think about drinking again sometimes.
I call it growing up. I can't always get what I want.”
I tell my son that he can’t get always get what he wants; it’s part of maturing into a good person and good citizen. I might as well lead by example. I want a drink, but I can’t have one. After a while you take pride in overcoming the urge because you’ve faced it down. I hope I’m not making this sound easy; it is not easy. But it is possible.
Try to think of your kiddo when you are considering giving in and having that drink.
Best of luck, and God bless.
I wanted to share some words posted by someone else that I copied into a personal note and that I look at every few hours (every time I want a drink). These words have helped me as a parent to two young children and as a struggling (but hopefully recovering) alcoholic.
I apologize I can’t find the original author or thread, it was a few years old, but basically...
”Because I am an addict for life, like everyone else here, I think about drinking again sometimes.
I call it growing up. I can't always get what I want.”
I tell my son that he can’t get always get what he wants; it’s part of maturing into a good person and good citizen. I might as well lead by example. I want a drink, but I can’t have one. After a while you take pride in overcoming the urge because you’ve faced it down. I hope I’m not making this sound easy; it is not easy. But it is possible.
Try to think of your kiddo when you are considering giving in and having that drink.
Best of luck, and God bless.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Welcome Lifechange. Don't buy into the stereotyped popular version of how an alcoholic gets sober. No need to shout anything from any mountaintops. Just like any other very personal illness, this is your business. Nobody else's. So custody of your son shouldn't be an issue at all. You just need to get sober and there are so much support here on this site and in real life. Maybe read up on making a plan to get sober and stay sober? Seeing a doc and being honest would be a first great step.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 268
Alcohol was on my mind constantly even on the rare days when I didn't drink. And then, after a day or two of abstinence, I'd drink more than ever the next time I imbibed.
It's so nice, so joyful to not think about booze. And, as a parent of teens, it's so nice knowing that I can always pick them up or drop them off in the car without worrying about whether I should be driving. Life is just so much easier without alcohol.
And I can handle stress so much better without it. Most of my anxiety was due to the effects of hangovers and my emotions going into overdrive due to the effect of booze.
I regret that I didn't quit when my kids were young. Booze made parenting so much harder than it needed to be.
I did ten days in-patient, then a daily outpatient program for several months. The group therapy was very helpful for me.
It's so nice, so joyful to not think about booze. And, as a parent of teens, it's so nice knowing that I can always pick them up or drop them off in the car without worrying about whether I should be driving. Life is just so much easier without alcohol.
And I can handle stress so much better without it. Most of my anxiety was due to the effects of hangovers and my emotions going into overdrive due to the effect of booze.
I regret that I didn't quit when my kids were young. Booze made parenting so much harder than it needed to be.
I did ten days in-patient, then a daily outpatient program for several months. The group therapy was very helpful for me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Welcome
Originally Posted by Lifechange2020 
Every single morning I wake up and say “I’ve got to stop drinking”. I have put reminders in my phone, sent myself emails, sticky notes, articles, about all the reasons I need to stop. And I have one big reason in front of me every single day and that is my son. I am a single mom and business owner and I feel stressed out ALL the time...as I know many do. The worst part of this is that I was actually married to an alcoholic. It’s one of the biggest reasons that our marriage didn’t work. I never thought I would find myself in this position, but I cannot seem to make it every one day weigh out a drink. If I do happen to make it, I’m so cranky and all I can think about is when I can drink again. I have had a lot of trauma in the last few years, mostly the past 8 months, but this has just gotten out of control. I’ve realized I cannot do this on my own but I feel I cannot seek treatment in fear of losing custody of my son. My son is also old enough now to notice mommy with a drink in her hand every night and this really disturbs me. I am so ashamed and disgusted with myself. I eat healthy and do CrossFit yet I cannot stop drinking. I constantly pray and beg for Gods help and I just keep doing it. I hope that someone here can provide guidance for where I am and some sort of encouragement of how to make this work. I don’t drink ridiculous amounts. Just enough to get me nice and buzzed and then sleep. But it’s EVERY day. If anyone has any suggestions, tips or tricks or just words of support, I’d sure appreciate it! Thank you.
Thank you for being BRAVE and coming here and sharing where you are struggling. That is a great step 1!
I too am a single mom and business owner with stress and I am also 864 days free from the shackles of alcohol.
Drinking made my stress 1,000,000,000,000,000% MORE than it was. The thoughts of stopping the drink brought stress on, I am sure you know what I mean.
Drinking is doing you NO favor, it is actually doing the opposite.
I am a better mom
I am a better business partner
I am a better person
My suggestion is to not focus on the NOT, meaning, I am NOT drinking today.
Change your perspective too; I am going to make healthy choices for myself, my body, my mind, and my child today.
Stay out of the liquor store, stay out of places that serve alcohol until you have the strength to be there.
Pour out all the alcohol in your house.
Stop using excuses to drink such as stress, trauma, blaaa we all have that.
Start reading books, finding something to keep your mind and hands busy, find meetings, get into therapy to start to heal, forgive yourself, and work out, meditate, do yoga.
You are capable of being sober and recovering.
Blessings,
DC
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by Lifechange2020
Every single morning I wake up and say “I’ve got to stop drinking”. I have put reminders in my phone, sent myself emails, sticky notes, articles, about all the reasons I need to stop. And I have one big reason in front of me every single day and that is my son. I am a single mom and business owner and I feel stressed out ALL the time...as I know many do. The worst part of this is that I was actually married to an alcoholic. It’s one of the biggest reasons that our marriage didn’t work. I never thought I would find myself in this position, but I cannot seem to make it every one day weigh out a drink. If I do happen to make it, I’m so cranky and all I can think about is when I can drink again. I have had a lot of trauma in the last few years, mostly the past 8 months, but this has just gotten out of control. I’ve realized I cannot do this on my own but I feel I cannot seek treatment in fear of losing custody of my son. My son is also old enough now to notice mommy with a drink in her hand every night and this really disturbs me. I am so ashamed and disgusted with myself. I eat healthy and do CrossFit yet I cannot stop drinking. I constantly pray and beg for Gods help and I just keep doing it. I hope that someone here can provide guidance for where I am and some sort of encouragement of how to make this work. I don’t drink ridiculous amounts. Just enough to get me nice and buzzed and then sleep. But it’s EVERY day. If anyone has any suggestions, tips or tricks or just words of support, I’d sure appreciate it! Thank you.
Ten days ago, I finally beat the monster. Nine days ago, I beat it again.
Etc, etc...
You CAN do this. You just have to want to be sober more than you want to be drink.
I promise you it is well worth it. The pain of quitting is temporary. Sobriety will reap benefits for the rest of your life.
Even after just 10 days, it is starting to get easier for me. I know I will have struggles going forward, but I now believe in myself. I KNOW I can do this, and I am going to keep doing it.
You can too! Start today. Beat the monster today, and then get up tomorrow and do it again!!! Win every day. That's how I am approaching it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Make a plan.
I had a plan to fill every hour of the day in the early days. I didn't drive home past the liquor store. I went to bed early. I went to AA meetings, I exercised and ate well. I was on this site in my spare time, posting in my "Class of " thread and reading everything. That helped a lot.
I changed all my routines and that helped with the habitual part.
For the actual getting-off the liquor I did a taper; which most people on this site don't agree with, but I didn't know any other way so I just went from drinking 12-16 drinks a day of hard alcohol down to zero in three days. It was uncomfortable and definitely wasn't easy but I was med-free and I'd do it that way again. Some people quit cold turkey and others go to their doctor for meds. Up to you. There are plus and minuses to each way.
Don't drag it out, though.
It's time.
I had a plan to fill every hour of the day in the early days. I didn't drive home past the liquor store. I went to bed early. I went to AA meetings, I exercised and ate well. I was on this site in my spare time, posting in my "Class of " thread and reading everything. That helped a lot.
I changed all my routines and that helped with the habitual part.
For the actual getting-off the liquor I did a taper; which most people on this site don't agree with, but I didn't know any other way so I just went from drinking 12-16 drinks a day of hard alcohol down to zero in three days. It was uncomfortable and definitely wasn't easy but I was med-free and I'd do it that way again. Some people quit cold turkey and others go to their doctor for meds. Up to you. There are plus and minuses to each way.
Don't drag it out, though.
It's time.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Some great advice here already lifechange 
The community here at SR helped me turn my life around.
Post, read, ask for support, look at what others are doing to stay sober and find a way that makes sense to you.
you can turn your life around too - welcome
D
The community here at SR helped me turn my life around.
Post, read, ask for support, look at what others are doing to stay sober and find a way that makes sense to you.
you can turn your life around too - welcome
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,536
Hi Lifechange!
Being here & sharing thoughts with others who understood relieved my anxiety & gave me encouragement. I was able to find the strength to let go of alcohol & begin a new life. We know you can do it too. Welcome.
Being here & sharing thoughts with others who understood relieved my anxiety & gave me encouragement. I was able to find the strength to let go of alcohol & begin a new life. We know you can do it too. Welcome.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,163
Originally Posted by healthystep1
I apologize I can’t find the original author or thread, it was a few years old, but basically...
”Because I am an addict for life, like everyone else here, I think about drinking again sometimes.
I call it growing up. I can't always get what I want.”
I want a drink, but I can’t have one.
”Because I am an addict for life, like everyone else here, I think about drinking again sometimes.
I call it growing up. I can't always get what I want.”
I want a drink, but I can’t have one.
In retrospect, I didn't want to grow up and be responsible. I wanted the privileges of adulthood without the responsibility, which is the precise opposite of "grown up." It was childish.
In sobriety, I began to get a taste of what growing up was. Yes it involves using some adult restraint. It's not all about getting or taking everything I want which is actually a childish attitude; "I can't always get what I want.”
Originally Posted by healthystep1
After a while you take pride in overcoming the urge because you’ve faced it down. I hope I’m not making this sound easy; it is not easy. But it is possible.
In growing up, we leave our childish past behind.
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