My son's father
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Rapid City, MI
Posts: 214
My son's father
I haven't posted in a very long time. So much has happened, but above all, he died. My son's father, my ex-husband, was an alcoholic. And his health suffered so much that ultimately his body gave out.
I was almost the one who found him. He hadn't even called for his daughter's birthday (my sons half-sister), and I couldn't get him on the phone. I was going to go to his house and ream him out, but I had my son with me, so I didn't. Days later, when he hadn't responded to his own mother, she sent police to do a well check. They found him, dead at least a week, on the couch, sitting up in front of the TV.
Years ago, when I first came to this forum, I didn't know where to turn. I didn't understand addiction, I didn't grow up with addicted parents. But I learned that my parents are children of alcoholics, and that's why when they told me he had a problem, they were in a position to know. It still took me years to understand.
I spent time here, and went to Al-Anon. I have learned SO MUCH from so many of you. I am so grateful for your support and guidance when I needed it most. I was so angry and hurt for so long until I found you.
And I was sometimes unkind to the man who gave me our son, and his daughter, the lights of my life. I learned to support his recovery, and to make boundaries after our divorce. I learned how to assist the kids, and my husband's ex (mother of the daughter) through many disturbing incidents. We pieced together his secret life.
We remain, happy and healthy and together, grateful for each other and for the imperfect man who brought us together.
I was almost the one who found him. He hadn't even called for his daughter's birthday (my sons half-sister), and I couldn't get him on the phone. I was going to go to his house and ream him out, but I had my son with me, so I didn't. Days later, when he hadn't responded to his own mother, she sent police to do a well check. They found him, dead at least a week, on the couch, sitting up in front of the TV.
Years ago, when I first came to this forum, I didn't know where to turn. I didn't understand addiction, I didn't grow up with addicted parents. But I learned that my parents are children of alcoholics, and that's why when they told me he had a problem, they were in a position to know. It still took me years to understand.
I spent time here, and went to Al-Anon. I have learned SO MUCH from so many of you. I am so grateful for your support and guidance when I needed it most. I was so angry and hurt for so long until I found you.
And I was sometimes unkind to the man who gave me our son, and his daughter, the lights of my life. I learned to support his recovery, and to make boundaries after our divorce. I learned how to assist the kids, and my husband's ex (mother of the daughter) through many disturbing incidents. We pieced together his secret life.
We remain, happy and healthy and together, grateful for each other and for the imperfect man who brought us together.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Condolences to you and your family. Grateful that the kids have you and daughter’s mother to turn to for love and guidance. They need strong, loving, emotionally available, accepting remaining parents all the more now. Hugs.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
Ali, I am so proud of you educating yourself regarding this horrible disease. Your kids are blessed that you are in a good place and will keep his memory alive with the good times you shared. Hugs to you and your family, one day at a time!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
