Day One of Sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 18
Day One of Sobriety
Hi, I thought I'd introduce myself, as I'm not really sure "how" to begin.
I made a vow just this morning to stop drinking heavily and secretly. I think I just needed to formally announce and admit that I have a drinking problem, even if it's anonymously.
I have quit drinking twice in the last year, for about two weeks each time, for personal reasons. I know that I have the power and capability within myself to not abuse alcohol. After reading several of the forum messages on this website, and after many tears and feelings of shame and self-hatred, I've decided to finally do something about my abuse problem.
I am currently 33 years old, and I began drinking at the age of 13. At first, it was casually, with friends, one weekend night per week. Then in college, I became addicted to drinking beer. I have always enjoyed the hard liquors and wine, but beer is definitely my greatest weakness. For about 12 years now I have been "sneaking' beers whenever I could, sometimes a 12-pack every day for months, sometimes 4-to-6 tall boys of beer every day. I have lied to my wife about my drinking problem, I have driven drunk hundreds of times. I believe part of my issue is that I have been able to get away with it; I've had very few health problems, and I've not been caught.
But I'm so tired of who I've become. I have two young children and I don't want them growing up with an alcoholic father. I am ashamed that I am so addicted to beer. I believe that if I stop right now, today, I can avoid the inevitable downfall that I will surely have if I continue to drink. I know that my wife would divorce me if she found out. I would lose my job and custody of my kids. I am terrified of that outcome, so I'm admitting that I have a problem and taking the first healthy step toward recovery.
Thank you to all who have posted already; your stories of struggle and success have truly moved me, and I partly have you to thank for (already) helping me on my journey toward sobriety. I'm not really asking a question or seeking advice, I mostly wanted to confess to someone, anyone, that I recognize my addiction and that I am hereby swearing to stop abusing alcohol.
Today. Sobriety starts now. Tuesday, February 4th 2020.
Here goes. I'll keep posting about my journey. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading. I hope you have a great day.
I made a vow just this morning to stop drinking heavily and secretly. I think I just needed to formally announce and admit that I have a drinking problem, even if it's anonymously.
I have quit drinking twice in the last year, for about two weeks each time, for personal reasons. I know that I have the power and capability within myself to not abuse alcohol. After reading several of the forum messages on this website, and after many tears and feelings of shame and self-hatred, I've decided to finally do something about my abuse problem.
I am currently 33 years old, and I began drinking at the age of 13. At first, it was casually, with friends, one weekend night per week. Then in college, I became addicted to drinking beer. I have always enjoyed the hard liquors and wine, but beer is definitely my greatest weakness. For about 12 years now I have been "sneaking' beers whenever I could, sometimes a 12-pack every day for months, sometimes 4-to-6 tall boys of beer every day. I have lied to my wife about my drinking problem, I have driven drunk hundreds of times. I believe part of my issue is that I have been able to get away with it; I've had very few health problems, and I've not been caught.
But I'm so tired of who I've become. I have two young children and I don't want them growing up with an alcoholic father. I am ashamed that I am so addicted to beer. I believe that if I stop right now, today, I can avoid the inevitable downfall that I will surely have if I continue to drink. I know that my wife would divorce me if she found out. I would lose my job and custody of my kids. I am terrified of that outcome, so I'm admitting that I have a problem and taking the first healthy step toward recovery.
Thank you to all who have posted already; your stories of struggle and success have truly moved me, and I partly have you to thank for (already) helping me on my journey toward sobriety. I'm not really asking a question or seeking advice, I mostly wanted to confess to someone, anyone, that I recognize my addiction and that I am hereby swearing to stop abusing alcohol.
Today. Sobriety starts now. Tuesday, February 4th 2020.
Here goes. I'll keep posting about my journey. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading. I hope you have a great day.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,519
Welcome, Healthystep! You'll never regret making this big change in your life. It took me many more years than you to finally admit I was dependent on alcohol. By then, many bad things had happened and it was difficult to dig my way out. Being here at SR, where others truly understand, made all the difference to me. I knew I'd never have to feel alone. We're glad you're here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,097
Hi Healthystep. Welcome and congratulations on opening up about realising that you have an alcohol problem to resolve. It sounds like you can do this if you remain committed to the idea of living without drinking. SR is a great place to download, get advice and get support along the way. You have come to a great forum!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome.
It sounds like you've got a lot to lose if you continue on drinking the way you are.
I did, too, and I did lose it.
You've made a solemn oath. I made many and they availed me nothing. Not to **** on your parade, but I needed help. and I drank about the same as you. We have a lot in common that way.
You can use this place for support, you can go to AA or another recovery program.
Whatever path you choose to do, I wish you success. I can totally relate to your post.
You're not alone. I advise using every option available to you. It's hard to quit alone, for me anyway, and I tried for ten years.
So stick around. Take action if you wish. I found the support of other alcoholics invaluable.
You can quit. It may take help, but you can quit.
Best to you.
It sounds like you've got a lot to lose if you continue on drinking the way you are.
I did, too, and I did lose it.
You've made a solemn oath. I made many and they availed me nothing. Not to **** on your parade, but I needed help. and I drank about the same as you. We have a lot in common that way.
You can use this place for support, you can go to AA or another recovery program.
Whatever path you choose to do, I wish you success. I can totally relate to your post.
You're not alone. I advise using every option available to you. It's hard to quit alone, for me anyway, and I tried for ten years.
So stick around. Take action if you wish. I found the support of other alcoholics invaluable.
You can quit. It may take help, but you can quit.
Best to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 18
Thank you all for the support; I can tell that checking in here at SR on a daily basis will keep me accountable as well as encouraged. It has helped me immensely to realize that real people everywhere deal with this real problem that I have. I am looking forward to quitting drinking; I’m excited to put this behind me.
Thanks again.
Thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by healthystep1 
I am currently 33 years old... I have lied to my wife about my drinking problem, I have driven drunk hundreds of times. I believe part of my issue is that I have been able to get away with it; I've had very few health problems, and I've not been caught.
But I'm so tired of who I've become. I have two young children and I don't want them growing up with an alcoholic father. I am ashamed that I am so addicted to beer. I believe that if I stop right now, today, I can avoid the inevitable downfall that I will surely have if I continue to drink. I know that my wife would divorce me if she found out. I would lose my job and custody of my kids. I am terrified of that outcome...
I've also spent many years dodging bullets. There were many events in my life that could have easily lead to absolute catastrophe, but simply because of the luck of the draw and beating the odds I've avoided it.
But I can assure you, I escaped some very serious unseen pain and misery in my 30s from staying away of that poison. I think you are making one of the most important decisions in your life.
And who knows what the future holds? But you didn't today, and that may have very well just made all the difference.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,414
Just thought how cool Feb 2 would have been for a quit date, 0202-2020.
Without question an enormous part of my success thus far has been finding SR through a link on another site and then coming here and spilling my guts out about what I had been doing, much as you have already done. Also I was amazed at how so much of what people here said seemed to fit my situation exactly. Now coming on to share daily thoughts and read what others are experiencing helps. For example, to read that others were having dreams that incorporated alcohol, or that driving home from work was a danger time for others for thinking about stopping at the store for beer.
Without question an enormous part of my success thus far has been finding SR through a link on another site and then coming here and spilling my guts out about what I had been doing, much as you have already done. Also I was amazed at how so much of what people here said seemed to fit my situation exactly. Now coming on to share daily thoughts and read what others are experiencing helps. For example, to read that others were having dreams that incorporated alcohol, or that driving home from work was a danger time for others for thinking about stopping at the store for beer.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Sounds familiar my friend. I am 43, and trying to get over my 'Drug Of Choice', which has always been just beer. The most available and benign drug you can think of. Pretty much have done everything besides street narcotics like smack or crack.
My drug use has been recreational. Ecstasy, powered cocaine, magic mushrooms, LSD, ganga etc. Nothing ever grabbed me like just simple beer because I could drink it at most occasions and it's socially acceptable. Over the years tolerance had built up to the point where I needed 12 tall cans of lager to feel a buzz.
Alcoholism is progressive. It gets worse. You start to have real life problems that destroy relationships and jobs, lose cars, spend nights in jail.....you know what I mean.
My drug use has been recreational. Ecstasy, powered cocaine, magic mushrooms, LSD, ganga etc. Nothing ever grabbed me like just simple beer because I could drink it at most occasions and it's socially acceptable. Over the years tolerance had built up to the point where I needed 12 tall cans of lager to feel a buzz.
Alcoholism is progressive. It gets worse. You start to have real life problems that destroy relationships and jobs, lose cars, spend nights in jail.....you know what I mean.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 12
Keep reading here, keep posting. We're all in this together.
You've made the best decision you could ever make for yourself and your family. At 33 you can say you've nipped it in the bud (healthwise)... 10 years from now it could have been a different story.
You are sober.
You've made the best decision you could ever make for yourself and your family. At 33 you can say you've nipped it in the bud (healthwise)... 10 years from now it could have been a different story.
You are sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
You have some deep and powerful motivations healthystep1. Seize on those and use them for strength. How is Day 2 going? I hope well. Keep posting on SR and let us know how things are going. I am 20 years older than you and what I would give to have those two decades back. You are showing wisdom beyond your years to get your arms around this thing when you are still so young.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,100
Hey Healthystep. I'm 45. My daughter just turned 18 and honestly, she's a big motivator for me to stay sober. I'm 35 days sober and If I could turn back the clock, knowing now how my drinking has affected her, I would. It's hard to admit but near the end I was giving her alcohol to get her off my back. No surprise, she downs them just like her mama. I was so wrapped up in my addiction that I couldn't see what I was I doing. For the past 10 years I told myself that I deserved to drink because life is so challenging. "mommy needs a drink" was my motto like so many other moms and dads out there. It seemed so justifiable but It's a lie! You have no idea how many regrets I have when it comes to parenting. So many things I have to deal with now and most of it stems from drinking.
At 35 days sober I have so much more clarity! I thought I was drinking to deal with anxiety but in actuality the drinking was causing the anxiety....it was a slow, insidious, infiltration of my brains reward system that developed over time.
I'm starting to feel free now and I wish this for you as well my friend. You can do it if you have a plan so read read and read some more on here. You gotta find your recipe for success because, as I am learning, it is different for everyone.
Best of luck!
At 35 days sober I have so much more clarity! I thought I was drinking to deal with anxiety but in actuality the drinking was causing the anxiety....it was a slow, insidious, infiltration of my brains reward system that developed over time.
I'm starting to feel free now and I wish this for you as well my friend. You can do it if you have a plan so read read and read some more on here. You gotta find your recipe for success because, as I am learning, it is different for everyone.
Best of luck!
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