Feel so so down and hopeless
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Feel so so down and hopeless
Feeling so so down been a hard week. Drank last Friday night don’t want to do that again. Just sat here in tears feeling so defeated. So many things I’m not happy with in my life isolated and head keeps going over all the people who don’t want to know me and my ex who treated me like nothing and I let him still spoke to him etc etc. Just regret go on social media see all my peers from school with all that I had years ago before my life went to hell. Sorry just so depressed today and I don’t want to drink but thought of another weekend doing same thing same routine etc is depressing. Trying to find gratitude but not working. Dread tonight when av will scream again 😪
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 689
Oh Eve, poor you. Truly horrible to feel like that. I feel for you. I don't know what to say that's helpful but I do know, on the basis of your previous posts, that you are desperate to rid yourself of the AV. And desperation does lead to determination. Last Friday is a week ago and history does not need to repeat itself. If you can ignore the AV tonight I feel sure you'll feel a whole lot better tomorrow. Is there even one trusted friend you can talk to/meet up with? And is it worth finding out about counselling? Sending you my virtual support.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I'm sorry eve. I felt all those things too - but I kept drinking which kept me in that bad place...or worse.
The only hope of any real change is by stopping drinking.
If you can think of anything else to do besides SR - Dr, counsellor, AA or some other meeting based group, inpatient or outpatient rehab - please think seriously about following those things up.
In a year from now your life could be SO much better!
why not give it a shot?
D
The only hope of any real change is by stopping drinking.
If you can think of anything else to do besides SR - Dr, counsellor, AA or some other meeting based group, inpatient or outpatient rehab - please think seriously about following those things up.
In a year from now your life could be SO much better!
why not give it a shot?
D
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Hi eve, I'm sorry you feel like you do and i do understand as i feel the same, worthless, lonely, unimportant, ex's that just treat me like dirt with not even a sorry, so I'm not much help advice wise, other than every time i have drank none of those situations improved, nothing has got better only worse, so maybe by trying something new, staying sober, things can change. I don't think it can hurt to try.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
I'm sorry you are feeling that way Eve. The lies that you see on social media are just that. All of those folks you are envious of all have their own demons, their own struggles and their own daily battles. Nobody lives a struggle-free life. I work daily on humility. Being intentionally humble helps me see the good in my simple life and allows me to let go of the resentment. I think living a simple life of routine allows you to sit and really think about what interests you and then you can go learn some new things. I know one thing - drinking tonight will just keep you where are in your head or it will drag you down further. Do what you need to do to stay sober this weekend.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,919
If you can think of anything else to do besides SR - Dr, counsellor, AA or some other meeting based group, inpatient or outpatient rehab - please think seriously about following those things up.
As usual, Dee nailed it.
You should try face to face support, it can make a tremendous difference, it did for me.
I often recommend AA for people. While I don't follow everything AA suggests, the reason I recommend it is because there are dozens of meetings in most areas everyday. It's very easy to find a meeting that fits your schedule.
Go to a meeting and introduce yourself as a struggling newcomer. You will probably be surprised at how much better you feel after the meeting.
As usual, Dee nailed it.
You should try face to face support, it can make a tremendous difference, it did for me.
I often recommend AA for people. While I don't follow everything AA suggests, the reason I recommend it is because there are dozens of meetings in most areas everyday. It's very easy to find a meeting that fits your schedule.
Go to a meeting and introduce yourself as a struggling newcomer. You will probably be surprised at how much better you feel after the meeting.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 400
Sorry for how you are feeling Eve. I felt like that a lot. Drinking definitely won't help. I think it if you can stay sober for awhile you will be able to make positive changes.
l stay off social media completely now. It is better for my mental health. Maybe try to find a few things in your life that you are genuinely grateful for and focus on those?
You could try therapy or support group if you feel you have issues to work through.
I think staying sober is surely the first step to a happier life.
l stay off social media completely now. It is better for my mental health. Maybe try to find a few things in your life that you are genuinely grateful for and focus on those?
You could try therapy or support group if you feel you have issues to work through.
I think staying sober is surely the first step to a happier life.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
Eve, it's really hard to get through the early days of recovery. I'm sorry that things seem to dismal right now, but hang in there and each day will get a bit better. Try to do something nice for yourself today.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 62
Social media has a tendency to make me compare my own life with everyone else’s constantly and all it has recently done for me is make me feel incredibly inadequate. I try to remind myself that while our struggles here on this site aren’t what everyone would consider a normal thing to be going through that there are more people that feel this way than you think. You are NOT alone. And even though the snapshots of those peoples’ lives look perfect on the outside, I assure you that they are not. Hang in there. And do consider a break from social media if it continues to make you feel this way.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 5
Don't give up Eve. I'm also in the early days here. I believe that clearing my mind of the alcohol fog will help me deal with the things I need to deal with much better, and in doing so reduce the need to drink. We cannot get stronger emotionally when alcohol is involved. We have to try to build up our strength to face what we need to. At least I know I do. Hope today is a better one.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 1,132
I will take a break from fb every once in a while, usually for a month. There is an option to deactivate your account so all of the data saved. You cannot believe how refreshing these breaks are.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
I relate and pray for some serenity for you asap so you don't continue to death spiral.
I might be able to help you feel better offering my experience and understanding of what I am dealing with that may be similar.
Booze altered my brain. It caused brain damage. I used to think it would never go away, but now I think it just took my brain about 4 years.
When I quit drinking, my brain didn't produce enough dopamine to keep me happy. I was insanely altered.
Heavy exercise was the key. I pushed my body to the limit and in return it made dopamine, endorphins, adrenaline, and melatonin.
After I while I got addicted to the natural drugs I made and it also keeps me healthy.
Since I understand why I felt bad, and how.to fix it, I was able to stay clean so far.
Hope the helps you make it out.
Trying to help folks helps me.
Thanks.
I might be able to help you feel better offering my experience and understanding of what I am dealing with that may be similar.
Booze altered my brain. It caused brain damage. I used to think it would never go away, but now I think it just took my brain about 4 years.
When I quit drinking, my brain didn't produce enough dopamine to keep me happy. I was insanely altered.
Heavy exercise was the key. I pushed my body to the limit and in return it made dopamine, endorphins, adrenaline, and melatonin.
After I while I got addicted to the natural drugs I made and it also keeps me healthy.
Since I understand why I felt bad, and how.to fix it, I was able to stay clean so far.
Hope the helps you make it out.
Trying to help folks helps me.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Trying to find gratitude but not working. Dread tonight when av will scream again
This
Trying to help folks helps me.
With a shift in focus, amazing things unfolded. Alcohol became a mere whisper that couldn't even be heard over the quiet roar of human kindness shared. Helping others turns into a tidal wave of help for me, even without my permission! :~)
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Thanks for all the words of wisdom I’m sat here and yep it’s screaming can’t leave house have family. Just waiting for sleep time feel so down just want a bottle of wine but know it will mean days of more depression and possibly horrendous regret depending on weather I do something stupid like sent crap messages or try contact my ex. So il sit tight
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 774
This will sound a bit strange, given that I have little or no experience on Facebook - never even had an account there, except in the very short term, and deleted my account permanently after a few days - but I fully recognise that Facebook could easily become addictive for me. I am addicted to social media, fortunately it's mainly relatively harmless stuff like this forum, a few forums for bands that I follow and so on. I do think that there is such a thing as an addictive personality.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,657
Eve- when my life was at it's darkest- I drank booze to seek oblivion- not death, just an escape from all the horror and hurt. But there was always awaking- and life was still there. It is hard work- but with support from SR, counsellor- GP etc, life does get better for me. It can for you too. Look in the communal threads in the Newcomer's forums- joining a thread where lots of people share and support is a great way to safely feel part of something 'more'. My support to you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 743
They say Facebook is linked to depression. Everybody trying to project their life in the best possible light. I never got into it. I'm kind of old school, if anyone even uses that term anymore. I get creeped out by the concept of everyone in everyone else's business all the time.
One good thing about AA is you never have to be alone. There are meetings all over, all the time, there is always another meeting to try out someplace. I have a meeting I like that's a bit of a drive through some fun back roads. Even on vacation, I've been to meetings literally 2,000 miles from home. Easy to find on google
Its good to get out, new scenery. A place to be. Even if your hesitant meeting new people, they're alcoholics so it's cool. It's almost like meeting somebody that likes the same out of state sports team. It might be a good way to get something going. Get use to getting out more, then maybe you can slowly start to sober up more and find activities that you like. It's really good for breaking up some of the boredom and loneliness.
One good thing about AA is you never have to be alone. There are meetings all over, all the time, there is always another meeting to try out someplace. I have a meeting I like that's a bit of a drive through some fun back roads. Even on vacation, I've been to meetings literally 2,000 miles from home. Easy to find on google
Its good to get out, new scenery. A place to be. Even if your hesitant meeting new people, they're alcoholics so it's cool. It's almost like meeting somebody that likes the same out of state sports team. It might be a good way to get something going. Get use to getting out more, then maybe you can slowly start to sober up more and find activities that you like. It's really good for breaking up some of the boredom and loneliness.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
