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Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Virginia
Posts: 469
Hi Dazed,
I was wondering just the other day how you were doing. It sound like your doing great. While divorce is never something anyone wants to go through, at least it's over and you can be happy in the life you want. Keep being strong and have a wonderful day.
I was wondering just the other day how you were doing. It sound like your doing great. While divorce is never something anyone wants to go through, at least it's over and you can be happy in the life you want. Keep being strong and have a wonderful day.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13 
Hope you are happy DC and enjoying life and that he is finding peace in his sobriety.
Wasn’t he sober for years before he relapsed?
Maybe this is it and he is finally done forever.
Wasn’t he sober for years before he relapsed?
Maybe this is it and he is finally done forever.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
LOL! Sometimes. It ebbs and flows. I am in the process of trying to find a nice home on some land for me and my 90 year old dad who wants to come with me. Wanna move out of this crazy state, so preparing the house for sale and doing some looking around. Mostly, its just day by day, but they go by peacefully for the most part and unemcumbered with craziness. For that, I am thankful. Thanks for checking in Dandelion!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 980
Well now D&C
I want you to know that I felt very jilted by you. (not sure jilted is even a word but you get the meaning). My suit case was packed for months & I was anxiously waiting to hear from you concerning our China trip. I was on total stand by & ready to leave at a moments notice. But all I heard was crickets!
LOL
Glad your ok.
I want you to know that I felt very jilted by you. (not sure jilted is even a word but you get the meaning). My suit case was packed for months & I was anxiously waiting to hear from you concerning our China trip. I was on total stand by & ready to leave at a moments notice. But all I heard was crickets!
LOL
Glad your ok.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,609
You're right, it could have been the marriage, which doesn't mean it was you!
Perhaps that is just something he couldn't handle in sobriety?
You sound good, if a bit adrift maybe? That "in-between" place can seem a bit limbo-ish sometimes but it's just a spot to settle in while you move on to your next (good) adventure.
A piece of land an a house on it for you sounds just wonderful. I'm glad you are doing well Dazed, happy you popped in and hope you will stick around.
Perhaps that is just something he couldn't handle in sobriety?
You sound good, if a bit adrift maybe? That "in-between" place can seem a bit limbo-ish sometimes but it's just a spot to settle in while you move on to your next (good) adventure.
A piece of land an a house on it for you sounds just wonderful. I'm glad you are doing well Dazed, happy you popped in and hope you will stick around.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,410
I hear some melancholy in your post DC. I think that’s pretty natural when that final paperwork shows up. 
I’m sorry things got so crazy. You didn’t cause it, just as you say, but I get seeing him sober now after all the hell he put you through would be rough, especially as you were very close for along time.
So are you and Dad moving inland or staying on the coast? Putting down roots—literally—by planting trees and daffodils that will be growing long after we’re gone is hugely therapeutic.
I guess I put in maybe 200 Daffodils this year.
I love finding old homesites in the forest where all that’s left are some rusted metal bits and a wave of yellow daffodils around where the cabin once stood.
I like to think some idea of Beauty we had survives us. . .
I’m sorry things got so crazy. You didn’t cause it, just as you say, but I get seeing him sober now after all the hell he put you through would be rough, especially as you were very close for along time.
So are you and Dad moving inland or staying on the coast? Putting down roots—literally—by planting trees and daffodils that will be growing long after we’re gone is hugely therapeutic.
I guess I put in maybe 200 Daffodils this year.
I love finding old homesites in the forest where all that’s left are some rusted metal bits and a wave of yellow daffodils around where the cabin once stood.
I like to think some idea of Beauty we had survives us. . .
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
Trail, you are right. After my sorey at the beach for a month, I changed. Even My A noticed it. I became reclusive, and I liked it. The only people I had around were my kids, and my dad. I felt safe. I wrote, I painted, I walked...My EAH and I became "friends"....but I was glad to be free of his struggle. I have found I love spending time with myself and needed to recenter before I ventured out again. I decided I wanted to "live my life full measure", like that ol twilight zone episode where the man looks for Willoughby. So, I have found, Hawk< a 10 acre piece of land with a lovely home and a separate little house for dad that Im thinking of buying. I love the image of the daffodils blowing in the wind around some rusty ol building along the pond that glistens in the warm sun...I've never been much of a you only live once kind of girl, as Emerson said "simplicity is the essence of life"...I feel I've become authentic with myself and with others which
provides me a peace that I protect fiercely. My EXAH and I were always good friends, and as I told my son at Christmas when he came home, its better that way for both of us. So, its good to hear from all of you, Im eternally grateful for your wisdom, love and strength and clarity during a time that I couldn't see. I hold you all in the highest regard. Lots of love, D&C
provides me a peace that I protect fiercely. My EXAH and I were always good friends, and as I told my son at Christmas when he came home, its better that way for both of us. So, its good to hear from all of you, Im eternally grateful for your wisdom, love and strength and clarity during a time that I couldn't see. I hold you all in the highest regard. Lots of love, D&C
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 868
As an addendum, a lot of the peace comes from being legally free from him. He is no longer a threat to anything I have worked for. No name on the house, car, insurance or trust. That gives me the greatest peace of all. I didn't realize how much that was stressing me out, until it wasn't a worry anymore. 
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