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When the going gets tough - Weekenders 31 January- 03 February 2020



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When the going gets tough - Weekenders 31 January- 03 February 2020

Old 01-30-2020, 01:09 AM
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Magsie
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When the going gets tough - Weekenders 31 January- 03 February 2020



Welcome to the Weekenders

This weekend is a very thoughtful time for me.....I hope you will bear with me and continue reading.

I can’t lie...the last two weeks have been difficult for me.



Since I had the injections for the new asthma treatment I’ve been like a caged Lion.




I just found out for sure something I suspected, that one of the side effects is anxiety!.....No kidding Batman.

The last few weeks I’ve wanted to hide away and run away from the world. I’ve been irritable, nasty, and downright piggish. Mostly all aimed at Mr. Mags, him being the nearest to take the brunt.

I was reminded of when I drank and the anxiety I felt then. I was a complete pain in the butt then too!

Anyhow, now I know it is the side effects, I can work through it.

I remembered my step mum saying....in life you can sink or swim.....her first husband was killed by a lorry load of bricks, her mum was killed by a lightening strike...and she said she decided to swim. She could’ve easily locked herself away and sunk, but no, she rode the storms when the going got tough.

I try to remember those words when my going gets tough. My old escape was of course alcohol. But I know that won’t make anything better but a million times worse. Plus the fact ‘I don’t drink’. I’m sure my sober tools took care of all that for me, because without them I would be a drunken mess wallowing in self-pity.

Looking through my notes that I save, I came across the following, inspiring words.

The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. “I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. “Mrs. Jones, you haven’t seen the room …. just wait.” “That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged, it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up.
I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away, just for this time in my life.” She went on to explain, “Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories. Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.”

And with a smile, she said: “Remember the five simple rules to be happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred. 2. Free your mind from worries. 3. Live simply. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less.”
❤️❤️❤️

I could make this ‘tough’ time into a drama and slide down the slippery abyss...But I’m not going to...I’m going to follow the saying



If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes.

(We’re here all week too!)
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Old 01-30-2020, 01:12 AM
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Shotgun!

I’m in and thanks Mags
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Old 01-30-2020, 01:15 AM
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Congratulations on shotgun Hawkeye
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Old 01-30-2020, 01:23 AM
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Wonderful opening post Mags, thank you ❤️
The story about the 92 year old woman brought tears to my eyes ❤️
I really hope the anxiety settles for you soon, and the asthma medication does it’s job well.
I’m in for the weekend
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Old 01-30-2020, 01:24 AM
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I really hope things get better for you this week Mera
Thank you for the new thread

D
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Old 01-30-2020, 01:27 AM
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I love that note Mags.. Something I need to do is think more positively for the things I have that make me happy rather than focusing on the unhappy Parts of my life...

I'm in for another weekend...
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Old 01-30-2020, 03:06 AM
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Thanks for another great intro Mags

Love this excellent reminder: “Remember the five simple rules to be happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred. 2. Free your mind from worries. 3. Live simply. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less.”

What does it mean when people say "shotgun"?
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Old 01-30-2020, 03:35 AM
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Harriet, it means they’re first on the thread.
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Old 01-30-2020, 03:38 AM
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Hope you feel better soon mags.
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Old 01-30-2020, 04:12 AM
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Hope the anxiety lessens soon, Mags. I absolutely loved your OP, one to save and re-read, thank you!
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Old 01-30-2020, 04:17 AM
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I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
I love this.

I love your post so much dear Mags....thank you.
And I pray that either the side effects go away or find something to help you that is better. SO so so so much love. s xx ❤️❤️
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Old 01-30-2020, 04:20 AM
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Wow mags, what a great OP. Thank you for that. For the most part I'm a happy-go-lucky sort. Once I quit drinking, I realized that I missed out on allot of things I could've tucked into my memory banks. They aren't very good to begin with, but sobering up sure has improved them, and the experiences I get to keep.
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Old 01-30-2020, 04:27 AM
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Wonderful note and I really hope you feel bette soon. Count me in for my second sober weekend
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Old 01-30-2020, 04:35 AM
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I'm in for another sober weekend

There really are only 2 choices in life.
1) enjoy the ride or
2) focus on the negative and be miserable

I'm at 1.5. Really working to get to #1

Mags I hope the side effects subside and the medication helps your asthma.
My daughter had asthma as a child. It can be very scary.

Thanks for the post!
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Old 01-30-2020, 05:00 AM
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Mags !!! What an absolutely awesome OP. This is my fave of yours so far.
I felt every word as i could feel it was coming from your heart.
the references from the 92 year old woman were poignant.

It really made me stop and think too. We really do need less stuff , it only clutters up our lives. We need to live more simply , be humble and be happy.
You have every right to feel the way you do after this horrendous 2 weeks of asthma, fear, trepidation, the unknown from the injections.

But as with everything, tou do it with grace

Even though you are struggling quite bad at the moment and of late, you still have the gift of giving. Being giving of your wise words , much like Gilmer & your constant support of oldies and newbies here.
you just want to help EVERYONE. Its a gift & we all love you and thank you for it

I love Thursdays and look forward to your inspiring posts xxx
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Old 01-30-2020, 05:23 AM
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My favorite too.
Thanks you.

In btw
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Old 01-30-2020, 08:25 AM
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Love the positive thoughts on this site. I need to read them today.
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Old 01-30-2020, 10:05 AM
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Hey all. Time to jump on the weekend bandwagon.

I just came over from another thread, in which I posted something about anxiety, but it seems appropriate to put it here, as well:

I get a lot from a mindfulness practice book specifically geared towards people with anxiety issues. It employs the mindfulness meditation framework laid out by Jon Kabat-Zinn in books like "Full Catastrophe Living" and "Wherever You Go, There You Are."

Ah, here it is, let me just dust off the cover, ... ok it's called "Calming Your Anxious Mind," by Jeffrey Brantley, M.D., with a foreword by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Subtitle of book: "How mindfulness and compassion can free you from anxiety, fear, and panic."

I find myself rereading sections from time to time when the anxiety level seems to have crept back up on me.

Here is a passage:

"In this chapter we learned about the important inner conditions that form the foundation for your mindfulness practice. Meditation will be most effective if you approach it as a curious skeptic, motivated to practice and confident in your innate power. Mindfulness is founded on the seven essential attitudes of nonjudging, patience, beginner's mind, trust, nonstriving, acceptance, and letting go. Recognizing and cultivating these inner qualities will create the optimal conditions for you as you teach yourself to be present in order to manage fear, anxiety, and panic."

Jr's weekend IRL is still a day and a half away, so I'm on my way back to workywork. I'll catch u later.
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Old 01-30-2020, 10:16 AM
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I'm in!

Welcome to Weekenders SendSleep and uptown! Weekends can be tough so it's good to have somewhere to talk about things.

Fantastic opening post Mags, great stuff. I hope those asthma injections are helping with your asthma as the anxiety inducing side affects do not sound very good at all. I suppose one small mercy is that at least you now why you have the anxiety. I hope you feel better soon.

I notice the the Shotgun call even has it's own Wikipedia page:-

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riding_shotgun


When the going gets tough this song is sure to make things easier.

https://youtu.be/zSWNWWREtsI
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Old 01-30-2020, 11:21 AM
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Nice music Saou.

I feel a lot better that I ‘bared my soul’ so to speak. It’s true that writing it down or speaking it out really helps. I’m prepared for any eventualities.

Thanks for all the positive words, I’m sure when I’ve rejigged my brain a bit I will cope with the anxieties much better.
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