sydneyman

Hello...

I decided to have a few beers on new years day. I flew to Bali for a month. I had decided to do this weeks before hand. As we know a relapse starts way before you take that actual drink. I wanted to know how it would be so I set a date when I was going to drink and when I was going to stop. I stuck to both. It has now been 3 weeks since my drinking. Why? The question I wanted to have answered was: I started drinking in my teens now 54 yrs old and how did I know if I could drink/how I would feel etc. My experiment own experiment in this journey. I stuck to beers and did not "go overboard"
So I was almost 14 months sober. After the first night out I had a terrible hangover and it felt like I felt when I was a daily drinker. It quickly started luring me back. So the day came and I quit. I had mild withdrawals.
I can now gladly report that I PREFER and WANT the sober life more than the drinking one. There is absolutely nothing gained at all. Being sober is far more productive/healthier and being more present and happy.
I am glad I did my experiment (not recommended). It has solidified my reason to live a sober life. Never again... Wouldn't trade it for all the tea in China..

Dee74

I'm glad you've recommitted to recovery but dang man, thats pretty much Russian Roulette as I see it.

I've seen/heard/read of many horrible ends that way.

Not to lose the message that I'm glad you made it through and Its great to have you back with us SM but I hope you'll help spread the message that you actually don't have to go back and check that you prefer not drinking.

If anyone feels wobbly, no matter how much 'time' you have, bring your doubts here.

The SR community has never let me down that way

D

sydneyman

totally agree. looking back at it now it certainly was dumb..it could have ended terribly and I could still be going,!!It was a lesson and I will not repeat it, ever. wasnt going to post it but I wanted to be 100% honest.
Definetley come on here and dont trythis..

Kaily

I'm glad you posted and appreciate your honesty. To me it reiterates just how sneaky addiction is and how it can worm its way back in at anytime.

So pleased you managed to nip it in the bud, I personally think you are very lucky after a very dangerous experiment.

Onward and upwards Sydneyman.

Surrendered19

Yikes Sydneyman!!! I could never do that. I would lose 10 more years or be dead before that. I hope everyone in SR reads what you posted and avoids that experiment like the plague. I'm so glad you made it back but, man, you do NOT need to run your car into a brick wall to show yourself and the rest of us what will happen.

SoberRican

Hello . me personally I am going to pass on the moderate thing. Fool proof way is to not drink period. I feel I did my time of boozing and gained nothing. What I did gain was knowledge. I wouldnt wish what I went thru to my worst enemy. But its something I had to deal with. With the help and guidance of my HP life has been good. ✌

Zebra1275

Here's what I would do if I were you.

Print out the paragraph at the top of this post where you describe how you didn't enjoy drinking again.

Then print it out and hang it up where you (and maybe only you) can see it, like on the inside of your closet door.

Then commit to reading it every once in awhile so that the drinking thoughts don't come back.

Reid82

Addiction is certainly not a rational disorder. Well done on your nearly 14 months sober at one time. You escaped rather luckily and should take heed of this. I've seen too many people drink again and never come back....

lessgravity

Glad to have you on the right side of the trench.

But I also wanted to express something that might be helpful to newcomers - I am approaching two years sober, first time in my life (I'm 42) since I started drinking in my teens. And there isn't an ounce of me that is envious of your decision to drink or of the drinks you took. I don't mean that to be harsh towards you in any way - I just want to speak from a position of solid permanent sobriety to those who might read your post and be envious of both the ability you have to pick up and put down and of the drinks themselves. Sobriety, as you obviously know, is worth more than just the tea in China, it's worth all the crappy poison we can find to pour down our gullets.

DayTrader

Obviously, all people are not the same. It's nice to hear from someone from your side of the tracks though, sydneyman. I could control it sometimes but not all the time...... and the number of times I was controlling it kept shrinking. And being honest, it wasn't until I had almost a year of dry time that I started really "wanting" to be sober and stay sober.

I'm happy for ya. Well done.

sydneyman

sva777

I had a few situations like the one you mention early on my sober journey. One at almost a year sober, then a couple times after that in the following year. Luckily the last such occasion I really understood what I was losing by giving myself over to my AV. I said never again. I reset my sober counter to be completely honest and moved forward.

Steely

I'm glad your experiment produced such good results.

Thanks for the reminder.