I'm on edge, but not stupid bye any means^^Strength**
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 3
I'm on edge, but not stupid bye any means^^Strength**
Hey everyone, sorry so lame right now. Couldn't even spell correctly and now my screen name is Strenght4Freya �������������� I may just keep it as it could be my reminder on why drugs are baaaaad..... Or because I don't know how to fix it and can't send a message until I hit that 15 mark! Lol I feel so ****** right about now. Glad I came across this site though and I hope it helps me out as I see it helps many out.
ok so I'm what like 38 now or close to, married but husband and I decided to screw up bye using again after 5 or so years and he is back in jail for the moment. I'm not big on the whole N.A. meetings thing, but I'll do A.A. I'm currently in a struggle of throwing my points out and taking my damn Suboxone for many reasons. My main reason is of course for my sanity and dignity second is for my son and family. Also im just sad. I'm using heroin for the first time EVER and I use to hate that evil crap with all my heart. I watched it and lived through it eating my entire life up in one swoop- about 6-7 years ago. Totally a freaking bummer and I'm on the edge and don't know rather to throw the same things away and quit or hang on tight and jump off the edge with them (not meaning suicide, but I mean when you use drugs and alcohol your pretty much playing Russian roulette anyways). So I'm here, may not be a meeting where I should be or a detox facility helping me detox with doctors... All fancy, but I'm here. I want off of all of it. But I'm still using and just had to take a 1mg Suboxone strip to take the edge off last night. But I'm here. So who else is here? Where do I go from here? Now I must post 14 more times
ok so I'm what like 38 now or close to, married but husband and I decided to screw up bye using again after 5 or so years and he is back in jail for the moment. I'm not big on the whole N.A. meetings thing, but I'll do A.A. I'm currently in a struggle of throwing my points out and taking my damn Suboxone for many reasons. My main reason is of course for my sanity and dignity second is for my son and family. Also im just sad. I'm using heroin for the first time EVER and I use to hate that evil crap with all my heart. I watched it and lived through it eating my entire life up in one swoop- about 6-7 years ago. Totally a freaking bummer and I'm on the edge and don't know rather to throw the same things away and quit or hang on tight and jump off the edge with them (not meaning suicide, but I mean when you use drugs and alcohol your pretty much playing Russian roulette anyways). So I'm here, may not be a meeting where I should be or a detox facility helping me detox with doctors... All fancy, but I'm here. I want off of all of it. But I'm still using and just had to take a 1mg Suboxone strip to take the edge off last night. But I'm here. So who else is here? Where do I go from here? Now I must post 14 more times
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hi and welcome Freya 
support really changed things for me - I thought I was too but opening up for support really helped me find my real strength.
Post and read as much as you want to here. I can change your name for you if you decide to go that way
D
support really changed things for me - I thought I was too but opening up for support really helped me find my real strength.
Post and read as much as you want to here. I can change your name for you if you decide to go that way
D
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Here I am nearly 5 years without being drunk.
I used to call what I felt in the afternoon on Saturday a crave. Now I call the feeling crazy.
I obsess over rediculous things. I go from totally occupied in whatever I am doing to internally or even vocally, if I am alone, battling with some made up issue.
My kid says I trip over stuff. Over think it.
Then I pray or something and everything is normal again.
I figure for some folks with worse brain damage it never goes back to normal.
I imagine I am getting less crazy than I used to be 5 years ago. I hope I am.
I better never relapse of I am positive I will end up in lock down
Thanks.
I used to call what I felt in the afternoon on Saturday a crave. Now I call the feeling crazy.
I obsess over rediculous things. I go from totally occupied in whatever I am doing to internally or even vocally, if I am alone, battling with some made up issue.
My kid says I trip over stuff. Over think it.
Then I pray or something and everything is normal again.
I figure for some folks with worse brain damage it never goes back to normal.
I imagine I am getting less crazy than I used to be 5 years ago. I hope I am.
I better never relapse of I am positive I will end up in lock down
Thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 3
Thank you guys ^^^ for being so welcoming. It's about to be a long few first days but since I'm sure I'll be up and down I will post more to get to know yall better. Ive decided that I'm just done. Done with it all and my soul is very tired. It's tired of being dragged around and stsbbed. Threw my points out tonight. Anyone know how long it'll take or what I could use to clear my arms and legs up a bit faster? I just have puncture wounds all over me and it's truly disgusting and I'm in no way dirty but I feel dirty (I mean well you know what I mean)
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hi Freya - I've never been an IV user so I have no idea.
Hopefully they'll heal in quick time
Remember you might have been dragged around by your addiction a little but you're not dirty - the pure you is coming back
D
Hopefully they'll heal in quick time
Remember you might have been dragged around by your addiction a little but you're not dirty - the pure you is coming back
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
It sounds like you may be facing withdrawal symptoms. I have never detoxed from opiates myself, but did witness someone go through it while I was in rehab and he was being monitored by the nurses around the clock.
You probably should check in to a detox facility.
You probably should check in to a detox facility.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,154
Welcome Strength!
Detox and rehab might be a good idea.
Get away from the routine and triggers while you detox. Having drs around is also a great thing. Alcohol and heroin withdrawal are no joke.
I have never done heroin but my nephew struggles with it and he is trying to manage it on his own.
Seems to be functional right now but Im not sure he isnt using again.
He has chosen to stay in a bad situation and I fear for him.
Good luck
Keep.posting and not using
Detox and rehab might be a good idea.
Get away from the routine and triggers while you detox. Having drs around is also a great thing. Alcohol and heroin withdrawal are no joke.
I have never done heroin but my nephew struggles with it and he is trying to manage it on his own.
Seems to be functional right now but Im not sure he isnt using again.
He has chosen to stay in a bad situation and I fear for him.
Good luck
Keep.posting and not using
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