Seeking a private message (PM) tutorial
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 546
Seeking a private message (PM) tutorial
I've been an SR member for only a little over a week and have a few questions about private messaging (PMing) on the SR website.
Caveat: I am not asking anyone to reveal details of any particular PMs with particular members. That would defeat the purpose of the PMs, it seems to me. My questions are just general ones.
Here goes:
1. Is there a some sort of tutorial or blog on the home page (or somewhere) with PMing basics? If so I haven't found it yet. But then again, in a sense I discovered the home page only yesterday. I mean, I was on my cell phone, not my computer, when I joined SR last week, and I've been using only my cell phone for access to SR until yesterday I think it was, when I pulled out my laptop and discovered that there is a wealth of additional information and features available on the computer version that is not so easily found on the cell-phone version of the website. I still finding new features.
2. I don't use facecrook, twitter, or other social media. Is there some sort of generally accepted PM etiquette these days in general? Or here on SR in particular? I mean, for example, is there a protocol for initiating a PM? Do people ask permission to send a PM before actually sending it? Does it happen that someone receives a PM from someone they'd rather not engage with? If so, then what do you do? Politely tell them?
3. Am I overthinking this? Should I just jump in and use common sense? I am capable of that (or so I delude myself), but I am just wondering whether there are some basics along the lines of the above that a prospective PMer should be aware of. Or that you wish some PMers were aware of?
I think these are questions that may be of general interest to newcomers to the website, but (lol) feel free to reply via PM.
Feel free to add your own questions to this list.
Thx,
jr67
Caveat: I am not asking anyone to reveal details of any particular PMs with particular members. That would defeat the purpose of the PMs, it seems to me. My questions are just general ones.
Here goes:
1. Is there a some sort of tutorial or blog on the home page (or somewhere) with PMing basics? If so I haven't found it yet. But then again, in a sense I discovered the home page only yesterday. I mean, I was on my cell phone, not my computer, when I joined SR last week, and I've been using only my cell phone for access to SR until yesterday I think it was, when I pulled out my laptop and discovered that there is a wealth of additional information and features available on the computer version that is not so easily found on the cell-phone version of the website. I still finding new features.
2. I don't use facecrook, twitter, or other social media. Is there some sort of generally accepted PM etiquette these days in general? Or here on SR in particular? I mean, for example, is there a protocol for initiating a PM? Do people ask permission to send a PM before actually sending it? Does it happen that someone receives a PM from someone they'd rather not engage with? If so, then what do you do? Politely tell them?
3. Am I overthinking this? Should I just jump in and use common sense? I am capable of that (or so I delude myself), but I am just wondering whether there are some basics along the lines of the above that a prospective PMer should be aware of. Or that you wish some PMers were aware of?
I think these are questions that may be of general interest to newcomers to the website, but (lol) feel free to reply via PM.
Feel free to add your own questions to this list.
Thx,
jr67
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Hi jr!! Number 3 lol! Members can set their own rules for receiving PM’s. Some only receive them from people on their friends list, others have it turned off and don’t want to receive any. If you try to message someone with those rules in place you’ll get a message back letting you know that.
I’d say just go for it, only advice I would give is to not give out any personal info like telephone / address etc which is just general internet safety anyhow.
Some people don’t log on or check their messages so don’t worry too much if you don’t get immediate replies.
Welcome!
I’d say just go for it, only advice I would give is to not give out any personal info like telephone / address etc which is just general internet safety anyhow.
Some people don’t log on or check their messages so don’t worry too much if you don’t get immediate replies.
Welcome!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
A PM is a good way to share a bit more information with someone, than you would post on the boards. Of course, always use caution with what you share with anyone online.
As MantaLady said, there is no need to be concerned about someone receiving a PM who doesn't want it. Members can choose to receive PMs or not, and you can put anyone on your Ignore list if you don't want to receive PMs or if you don't want to see their posts.
As MantaLady said, there is no need to be concerned about someone receiving a PM who doesn't want it. Members can choose to receive PMs or not, and you can put anyone on your Ignore list if you don't want to receive PMs or if you don't want to see their posts.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
When I first started using this site I had already spent a bit of time on other forum sites and there are some things that tend to happen on all forum sites.
Some users will send a PM to reprimand or disagree. You know, like if you use poor grammar (totally silly to worry about, IMO) or you say something they don't agree with. Some will ask personal questions. Some will just be looking to engage, appropriately or - not. I put people on Ignore immediately if anything makes me uncomfortable.
One thing that is good to know is that PMs are not completely private. That is, there is a "Report Private Message" feature on PMs. It's this little thing,
On PMs it is up in the top right corner. So if someone over-steps in a completely inappropriate way, you do have some recourse.
Some users will send a PM to reprimand or disagree. You know, like if you use poor grammar (totally silly to worry about, IMO) or you say something they don't agree with. Some will ask personal questions. Some will just be looking to engage, appropriately or - not. I put people on Ignore immediately if anything makes me uncomfortable.
One thing that is good to know is that PMs are not completely private. That is, there is a "Report Private Message" feature on PMs. It's this little thing,
On PMs it is up in the top right corner. So if someone over-steps in a completely inappropriate way, you do have some recourse.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Just to clarify ...you can report a PM if you think it breaks our rules and you'll send a copy automatically to us as part of that...
but staff CANNOT read your PMs..
I can't log in and see what Bims said to Manta lady for example - they really are private
Also altho you can limit what people see on your profile by your 'friends list', its not the same with PMs.
Apart from using the ignore function, which would block someone sending a PM to you, there's no way to pick and choose which PMs make it to your inbox.
You can of course simply not reply
I started a thread a few years back with common questions answered
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ndy-hints.html
D
but staff CANNOT read your PMs..
I can't log in and see what Bims said to Manta lady for example - they really are private
Also altho you can limit what people see on your profile by your 'friends list', its not the same with PMs.
Apart from using the ignore function, which would block someone sending a PM to you, there's no way to pick and choose which PMs make it to your inbox.
You can of course simply not reply
I started a thread a few years back with common questions answered
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ndy-hints.html
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Well, you can limit PMs you receive to Moderators and your Contacts only, or you can disable Private Messaging completely. I would think moderators and admin would still be able to PM everyone even if, "Disable Private Messaging," is chosen.
Under Edit Profile, Messaging & Notification, Private Messaging, you can tick the box next to this:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...do=editoptions
I think that's what Manta meant by Friends List, above.
Under Edit Profile, Messaging & Notification, Private Messaging, you can tick the box next to this:
You may limit the receipt of private messages to just moderators and your contacts. Other members who attempt to send messages to you will be told that you have disabled private messaging.
__Receive Private Messages only from Contacts and Moderators
__Receive Private Messages only from Contacts and Moderators
I think that's what Manta meant by Friends List, above.
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