wildflower70

Hello SR!

Today I am 16 months sober, I have never been more committed to my health and wellness journey. I also quit nicotine 4 months ago, am now living an addiction free lifestyle!!

I have used SR for a long time, to get and stay sober. It was my main support system in the beginning, my September 2018 class was a lifeline each and every day. But they're all gone.

I have been like a fish out of water here for about 6 months. My September class dwindled down until it was only myself and Dee posting anything. My crucial support had disappeared.

So where do I go now? I jump in from time to time and offer support to those who are struggling, that is certainly helpful for myself and others. However, I can't seem to find a new "home."

Where do you guys go when you're past the stage of withdrawal, detox, major craving, fighting triggers, and urge surfing. Where can I just talk about life as a sober person???

Thanks for listening, blessings to all of you on this journey.

sugarbear1

AA meetings, SMART meetings, Life Ring meetings, SOS meetings, Women/Men for Sobriety meetings, Refuge Recovery meetings...….among others...lots of options today!

MantaLady

Firstly congrats on 16 months!! I felt the same as you and some of the other threads that had more people with longer term sobriety seemed impenetrable to me, I felt like I was muscling in on a group of already established friends and I’d never be fully accepted.

So, I joined the Weekenders thread and that became my new home and all the thoughts of feeling like I wouldn’t fit in or be able to really feel part of the group soon vanished. I know I can pop in there and talk about anything and everything and I am very grateful for all the guys and gals that frequent it.

I don’t discuss my sobriety anywhere else really and have found that for me I needed to start actually living my life and don’t have as much time on SR as I used to.

Not sure what else to suggest but I can assure you what you feel is completely normal. xx

Tetrax

There's a One Year & Over thread over at Daily Support I'm sure you'd be very welcome! Otherwise just post some new threads about your journey. IRL support might be of high value to you too. And well done on your time, great stuff.

Tetrax

Ah yeah of course, I'm sometimes over there too this time of the week.

Surrendered19

Wildflower, as a newbie, I'll beg you to spend as much time as you can on the newcomers forum. I am living in Day 53 and the support of veterans with long-term sobriety is immeasurable. I find it to be one of the most amazing things on SR. Y'all tell us where we are going wrong, right, up, down or sideways and hearing your experiences - there is no value to put on that. Invaluable.

DriGuy

I've been in forums for years. They constantly change. People come and go, vital members leave, some who I personally hated to see go, left and I felt abandoned, and they were only cyber friends. It's a bit like real life.

Up until I went to college, I had a close circle of friends, most of whom I have no idea where they are now. In college and even well into my early career, it finally hit me. Friends come and go. The best friends I've had in college are now gone, and I don't know where they are. There are a handful of friends that have endured. They may not be the best friends I've made. They have just endured for reasons I don't need to understand.

Of all the changes I have experienced in my life, the comings and going of good friends may be the most significant of all the impermanent parts of my life. But the phenomenon seems to be real. I've gotten used to it. Everywhere I've gone, there always seem to be new friends. I don't seek out new friends or cling to old ones. They just seem to appear without effort or direction from me.

Now that I've gone off the rails, the question is where do you fit in here in SR? From the outside, it seems you fit in right here. To you it feels like you don't. But we are here, and I think you belong here. We're not the people you got used to. Our struggles are often not those of the newbies, but we've been there.

And look around. Newbies are all over the place, and they need friendship as much as you. We want you to get to know us. We want you to join in. And it can be just a baby step until it happens.

August252015

This is what I try to do. Lots of folks guided me and listened. I rarely do anything but click at the top on "New Posts" and see what's going on. I'll go thru a few pages and I try to look for threads that are active especially if it's a newcomer who started one that folks are engaging with.

And remember that you help people with more sobriety than you, too.

I can learn something from someone with way more or less sobriety than I have. One reason being that y'all are all over the world in time zones, so someone got up before me today and has been sober longer in this one day we have

Hawkeye13

How about Weekenders and Newcomers? A specific group for continuing support,as well as paying forward support and valuable experience for those getting those first sober days or weeks?

Derringer

Shot Wildflower 😃

You are one of the survivors, and as has already been suggested, take the time to help those who are relatively new.

Pay it forward.

Dee74

Hey WF

some good suggestions upthread - all great threads - 'The Power Of Sobriety Thread (POST!) #10' is another group thread that seems to attract those with a little recovery time behind them.

Most of the threads mentioned above are in the Daily Support Forum, with the weekly Weekender in Newcomers

I guess at some point I stopped having home threads and made myself at home everywhere, lol.

Paying it forward, as Derringer put it, is important to me so I do a little of that each day.

There's really no right answer.

I hope you find a little corner of SR that gives you the feels like the old September thread

D

Delilah1

Hi Wildflower,

Congrats on 16 months!! Unfortunately I think that happens to a lot of classes after a while. The 24 hour thread is a great place to check in each day. I’m 4 years sober now, and I love that thread. I also read in Newcomers daily. I enjoy supporting others starting out, and it’s also a good reminder of why sobriety is so important.

❤️Delilah

wildflower70

Thanks everyone for the response!!

So, I think the point is that I'm already home! SR is the home and I'm already a part of it. The forums are just different rooms within the home. I like the idea of "paying it forward"....thanks guys

Anna

I LOVE this! I'm so glad you're here, Wildflower.

HeadEast

I agree with DriGuy. I think you fit in right here.

kenton

After my class thread went quiet, I felt a little lost but then started posting in the 24 hour thread and that is now my home. Wonderful people there that l love to 'see' every day and we talk about pretty much everything. It's a very welcoming place xxx

Sohard

Foggyriver

Hi, Wildflower, I need your help. I am trying to get sober, but I messed up after only thirteen days. Your seniority would help me so much. I am so scared. I just want to be a good person and to be reliable and sober. Any advice you can give would be so greatly appreciated. We newbies need you so much! Thanks, and congratulations for your success in achieving an addiction-free life.

wildflower70

Foggy, I messed up so many times, I finally lost count. I think that I was at a point of self loathing. I figured I wasn't worth the REAL effort that it takes to get sober. That effort for me was so much more than not buying the booze....it was believing that I was worth MORE than another wasted, drunken night. I deserved to love myself!!

And that's not easy when we feel shame and regret!

How can you show yourself that you are worthy today foggy? Maybe give yourself a big hug, and remind yourself that you are loved.

You can do this! And you ARE worth it!

Numblady

I really love the gratitude thread for this. My class thread is still active but grats also adopted me too