Help talk to me please
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Help talk to me please
Day 5 I’m really struggling today my daughters dad wasn’t nice to me regarding when he picks her up. He’s always cold towards me and reminds me of my bad behaviour in the past if I bring up any concerns. I feel vunrable right now upset like why do my ex’s hate me so much bla bla sorry for myself I guess. Weekend is coming I’m a bit worried. I want to smoke cigarettes now I’m trying to quit again so I really don’t want to. I’m also worried that I will drink later I can’t Cole with another day one. Can’t stop crying and feeling weak. Help me please I know that my emotions are extaharated but boy I hate feeling so vunrable and like everybody looks down on me. All this is because I’m an alcoholic but it hurts right now and I feel **** to be honest
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,352
Hi Eve 
I'm sorry your daughters dad wasn't nice to you but if you were to drink on that nothing will ever change.
If you want change you need to invest in your own future and stay sober.
You are not who other people say you are - you are whoever you want to be - and you'r not alone - we're all with you - you can do this - sober
D
I'm sorry your daughters dad wasn't nice to you but if you were to drink on that nothing will ever change.
If you want change you need to invest in your own future and stay sober.
You are not who other people say you are - you are whoever you want to be - and you'r not alone - we're all with you - you can do this - sober
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,524
It will be alright Eve. These are feelings, that's all. It's ok to feel.
I'm only 25 days sober and know how you feel. We can do this irrespective of mean ex's. You are doing great in getting sober. Five days are Fab.
I'm trying to stop smoking too and have taken myself over to the Stop Nicotine Forum. I think that's what it's called.
Today is my Day 1, and I've had 1 cigarette, Might see you over there.
We can do this Eve.
I'm only 25 days sober and know how you feel. We can do this irrespective of mean ex's. You are doing great in getting sober. Five days are Fab.
I'm trying to stop smoking too and have taken myself over to the Stop Nicotine Forum. I think that's what it's called.
Today is my Day 1, and I've had 1 cigarette, Might see you over there.
We can do this Eve.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,231
Reading many of our SR members suggestions,
guiding you to other forums to join in with others
struggling with addictions can help you and others
get further down the road and past those first few
months.
I remember when I got sober yrs ago, hearing many
important suggestions from those who had already
achieved some good solid recovery time, to take one
addiction at a time. Meaning, learning how to stay
sober first before stopping other addictions, like
smoking.
There are some that have quit everything all at
once and yes it can be done. There are others that
needed to concentrate solely on learning how
to remain sober first.
Once they got some time sober down the road,
then they concentrated on not smoking.
Stay close to your recovery support system so
that you can support and help each other learning
new healthy ways to remain sober and smoke free
down the road.
Small steps moving forward on your new journey
in life taking care of you because you, we, us are
all worth it.
guiding you to other forums to join in with others
struggling with addictions can help you and others
get further down the road and past those first few
months.
I remember when I got sober yrs ago, hearing many
important suggestions from those who had already
achieved some good solid recovery time, to take one
addiction at a time. Meaning, learning how to stay
sober first before stopping other addictions, like
smoking.
There are some that have quit everything all at
once and yes it can be done. There are others that
needed to concentrate solely on learning how
to remain sober first.
Once they got some time sober down the road,
then they concentrated on not smoking.
Stay close to your recovery support system so
that you can support and help each other learning
new healthy ways to remain sober and smoke free
down the road.
Small steps moving forward on your new journey
in life taking care of you because you, we, us are
all worth it.
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Thanks for support I’m dreading the weekend I really really don’t want to fail again. So my priority is this weekend to stay sober. I feel that I need to give up the smoking as it triggers the drink vice verca I get depressed when I smoke hate myself anxiety etc that then pushes me towards the drink so iv come to realise both must go this time. One day at a time must work this time. I’m off for a long walk clear my head just want to be a stronger person that can deal with negative people without having an emotional response. Work to do to get there as I feel too much at the moment and nothing to fix that except tools of recovery that I will try to use this weekend. I need to toughen up
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 732
I was only thinking a minute ago how badly I have been treated because of my alcohol problem. Everyone loses respect for you. Try and do what I'm doing, don't give them the satisfaction of failing again. As you get more sober time you will regain confidence and demand that you are treated with respect. Be strong xxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
I'm living in Day 52 here Eve123 and I am just beginning to sense a returning respect for me. I had destroyed every reason there was to respect me and in fact punished people for having anything to do with me by spreading chaos and misery. We earn that respect back slowly Eve. It hurts me too and I hate that but I am trying to forgive everyone for how they treat me because my behavior caused it. At least partially anyway. One good tool in my toolbox that I work on every single day is acceptance of the fact that what is in their heads is in their heads and that the ONLY way to get them to change the way they feel about me is through my actions. Being calm, reliable, honest. It will come Eve123.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Support to you.
Time and suffering is what it took to get this well.
Nobody out there cared, but sr did.
Even the few AA meetings I attended brought me down.
Online support is what I used and use.
Silly? I call it welcome to the future.
Anyway...
My brain was a mess, off and on, for several months after i quit.
Booze caused it and booze was medicating it.
It took a long long long time to get used to life without booze
in my body.
I still take drugs and feel the effects. Vitamins, lisonpril, coffee, moringa, sodium etc etc.
All of these have an effect on me that I seem to be more aware of now that I am cleaned up.
I used/use heavy exercise to get and keep me feeling positive. The natural opiates created last for a long time.
Hope this helps.
Thanks.
Time and suffering is what it took to get this well.
Nobody out there cared, but sr did.
Even the few AA meetings I attended brought me down.
Online support is what I used and use.
Silly? I call it welcome to the future.
Anyway...
My brain was a mess, off and on, for several months after i quit.
Booze caused it and booze was medicating it.
It took a long long long time to get used to life without booze
in my body.
I still take drugs and feel the effects. Vitamins, lisonpril, coffee, moringa, sodium etc etc.
All of these have an effect on me that I seem to be more aware of now that I am cleaned up.
I used/use heavy exercise to get and keep me feeling positive. The natural opiates created last for a long time.
Hope this helps.
Thanks.
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
Hello Eve,
Day 5 is great but it's still early days. You are bound to feel a bit vunerable. Keep going and posting your progress it will get better, that I can guarantee you (if you stay sober)
Take care
Day 5 is great but it's still early days. You are bound to feel a bit vunerable. Keep going and posting your progress it will get better, that I can guarantee you (if you stay sober)
Take care
Sick n tired
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
Thabks all. I did go for a 10 mile hike today and it was lovely. Cleared my head. I know I’m to blame for people that can’t stand me because I lashed out when drunk and could say unpleasant things drama etc. I’m not bothered as such but when do parenting I find it difficult to deal with the obvious hostility and to be fair he didn’t treat me well anyway but I reacted emotionally instead of just rising above it. Hard as an alcoholic not to react. Anyway handed daughter over and tried to have a talk explaining why I ask about were she’s going this weekend etc and all I got was hard stare and wish I’d shut up now but as her primary carer i feel I should be able to ask these things. He just can’t stand me I don’t think. Never mind I intend on stay sober and dealing with this going to say 6 with hope thanks to you people on here 👍
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
It is a shame that he doesn't realize, or doesn't care, how hard that is for your child to see her father treat her mother that way. I wish he could set aside his hostility. You two don't have to be buddies, and he doesn't even have to like or respect you, but ideally you would still be a good parenting team for your innocent daughter. Sorry Eve123, that is really tough. The way he is acting is so unnecessary and accomplishes nothing.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Gainesville, Fl
Posts: 435
On another note, I will point out that you will be able to handle this better in the coming days or weeks. During the withdrawal symptoms and early on, your brain is still very out of balance and your emotions are extremely exaggerated.
To use myself as an example, I haven't cried since I was a child with the exception of a handful of times. And every one of those times was when I was in the stages of detox when my emotions were all out of whack.
You'll push through this, gain your strength back, and be able to handle this in the proper manner. Don't take what your experiencing now as a sign of weakness. It's your brain and your alcoholism trying to get you to drink.
To use myself as an example, I haven't cried since I was a child with the exception of a handful of times. And every one of those times was when I was in the stages of detox when my emotions were all out of whack.
You'll push through this, gain your strength back, and be able to handle this in the proper manner. Don't take what your experiencing now as a sign of weakness. It's your brain and your alcoholism trying to get you to drink.
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