Day 58 - Things I Notice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,643
Day 58 - Things I Notice
Things I've Noticed:
1. Alcohol made normal stuff scary and manageable stuff impossible.
When I was hungover (actually withdrawing), it was a task to even show up for work. I could get through it, but it was scary, and it was a task. Now it's just normal stuff.
When I was hungover (actually withdrawing), and a non-normal event occurred, it was the end of the world. I can give an example - I have a coworker that was a jerk to me. It wasn't really a big deal, I think he does it to everyone that is new. But he would talk about me behind my back to my boss. Because I was drinking every night, I blew this WAY out of proportion and ended up quitting my job over it when such an over reaction was entirely unnecessary. A manageable situation was made impossible for me because of alcohol.
I actually got that job back and since I've been sober, I've been friends with the person. He wasn't even trying to throw me under the bus - he just goes about his daily life, and I happened to come up in a conversation between him and the boss. Either way, it's water under the bridge now. An entirely manageable situation that was impossible if I was drinking.
2. One day at a time works.
I've actually taken this philosophy to heart. Not a lot can happen in 24 hours. Thinking about this whole year or month or even week can get overwhelming on a bad day - and that can lead to the thought of a drink. And all of the sudden I'm at the liquor store.
This isn't to say that I don't plan for the future - but rather, I just focus on today and every morning I commit to stay sober just for today. The future will be what it is.
3. Alcohol turned me into a jerk - a reactionary jerk with no sense of self.
I said and did everything impulsively and it wrecked havoc on my mental health, relationships, finances, and everything else that active alcoholics struggle with.
I'm a much more grounded person sober. In fact, I'm an entirely different person sober and I will probably be discovering who I am for a long time. I look forward to it.
4. Cravings happen all the time.
I get through them with one day at a time. Okay stupid brain - I'll drink tomorrow. Every tomorrow is another today and the good cycle continues
Though my cravings are getting less frequent with each passing day.
5. If you go to AA, listen for stuff that helps you and ignore stuff that gives you anxiety. If you don't like the Big Book thumping, tune it out. If you dislike being told to work the steps constantly, tune it out. Look for shares that help you accumulate one more day sober and latch onto them.
12 step meetings are composed of a bunch of non-professionals. Each person's political, religious, philosophical, and other beliefs will naturally influence how or if they work their program. And thus, those things will influence their shares. Take what works for you and leave the rest.
There's more, but I'll stop for now. I just wanted to share some of my progress.
1. Alcohol made normal stuff scary and manageable stuff impossible.
When I was hungover (actually withdrawing), it was a task to even show up for work. I could get through it, but it was scary, and it was a task. Now it's just normal stuff.
When I was hungover (actually withdrawing), and a non-normal event occurred, it was the end of the world. I can give an example - I have a coworker that was a jerk to me. It wasn't really a big deal, I think he does it to everyone that is new. But he would talk about me behind my back to my boss. Because I was drinking every night, I blew this WAY out of proportion and ended up quitting my job over it when such an over reaction was entirely unnecessary. A manageable situation was made impossible for me because of alcohol.
I actually got that job back and since I've been sober, I've been friends with the person. He wasn't even trying to throw me under the bus - he just goes about his daily life, and I happened to come up in a conversation between him and the boss. Either way, it's water under the bridge now. An entirely manageable situation that was impossible if I was drinking.
2. One day at a time works.
I've actually taken this philosophy to heart. Not a lot can happen in 24 hours. Thinking about this whole year or month or even week can get overwhelming on a bad day - and that can lead to the thought of a drink. And all of the sudden I'm at the liquor store.
This isn't to say that I don't plan for the future - but rather, I just focus on today and every morning I commit to stay sober just for today. The future will be what it is.
3. Alcohol turned me into a jerk - a reactionary jerk with no sense of self.
I said and did everything impulsively and it wrecked havoc on my mental health, relationships, finances, and everything else that active alcoholics struggle with.
I'm a much more grounded person sober. In fact, I'm an entirely different person sober and I will probably be discovering who I am for a long time. I look forward to it.
4. Cravings happen all the time.
I get through them with one day at a time. Okay stupid brain - I'll drink tomorrow. Every tomorrow is another today and the good cycle continues
Though my cravings are getting less frequent with each passing day.
5. If you go to AA, listen for stuff that helps you and ignore stuff that gives you anxiety. If you don't like the Big Book thumping, tune it out. If you dislike being told to work the steps constantly, tune it out. Look for shares that help you accumulate one more day sober and latch onto them.
12 step meetings are composed of a bunch of non-professionals. Each person's political, religious, philosophical, and other beliefs will naturally influence how or if they work their program. And thus, those things will influence their shares. Take what works for you and leave the rest.
There's more, but I'll stop for now. I just wanted to share some of my progress.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 517
Congrats on 58 days.
Have you considered that there is a very good reason that the thumpers do what they do ?
In my time in AA, I have watched those who take the steps actually recover fully from alcoholism.
They achieve true freedom from alcohol by having the obsession removed. No more resisting the urges one day at a time.
And the 9th step promises manifest in their lives.
They want the best for you and if you cannot or will not throw down and do them, you will never know how good it can really be.
Just food for thought.
Have you considered that there is a very good reason that the thumpers do what they do ?
In my time in AA, I have watched those who take the steps actually recover fully from alcoholism.
They achieve true freedom from alcohol by having the obsession removed. No more resisting the urges one day at a time.
And the 9th step promises manifest in their lives.
They want the best for you and if you cannot or will not throw down and do them, you will never know how good it can really be.
Just food for thought.
I discovered the same things when I was getting sober. I am so happy for you that your sobriety is strong. 
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
