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All I want to do is cry.....

Old 01-03-2020, 08:43 PM
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All I want to do is cry.....

I am on day 2, going on day 3. I know that I need to focus on one day at a time but it's so hard. I have been so emotional and all I want to do is cry. This literally feels like a death to me. Is this normal and how does it last? Any other advice?
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Old 01-03-2020, 08:47 PM
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Originally Posted by RedheadJen View Post
I am on day 2, going on day 3. I know that I need to focus on one day at a time but it's so hard. I have been so emotional and all I want to do is cry. This literally feels like a death to me. Is this normal and how does it last? Any other advice?
Yes. Yes it is totally normal. What you are doing is SOOOOOOOO hard, but SO worth it. You’re just in the very worst part of it right now. I promise you it gets better. I swear. You just need to tough it out to get to the easy part. You can do this. You really can. I know this is cliche sounding, but if I can do it, anyone can. Congratulations on making this terrific, brave decision. You will not regret it.
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Old 01-03-2020, 08:49 PM
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Thank you, Sohard, you told me exactly what I needed to hear and I really appreciate it.
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Old 01-03-2020, 08:50 PM
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Anything is normal in the first few days and no it does not last. Anything you can do for self care will help. Tea? Walk? Bath? Any of these will help. It does get better, but it takes time. Finish day 3, please, and keep going.
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Old 01-03-2020, 08:50 PM
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Its very normal Jen. Its like the end of a toxic relationship.
Give yourself time to realise you're better off not having this ex around

It gets easier - trust me

D
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Old 01-03-2020, 08:52 PM
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You're still in the throes of physical withdrawal, of course you feel like hell. It gets better, the longer you stay sober. Just don't drink, one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
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Old 01-03-2020, 09:00 PM
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Hi Jen,

You will start to feel better each day. I see you joined here in 2011, what have you tried over the years to get sober? Has anything worked well for you? If so, maybe use that as a base and add a few more supports. The January of 2020 and 24 hour thread are both good supports.
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Old 01-03-2020, 09:57 PM
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Yes the death part of it I can relate to as well. And it is a loss of sorts. You are letting go of something that, for bad and worse, was a part of your life. But those feelings fade and change. Keep moving forward in sobriety and things will just keep getting better.
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Old 01-03-2020, 10:08 PM
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I've shed more than a few tears on my journey. A good cry sometimes is needed.
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Old 01-04-2020, 04:11 AM
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Originally Posted by RedheadJen View Post
Is this normal and how does it last?
lol. I don't think there is anything normal about the first 5 days. Nor were the years you put in being blotto.

The first few days will be rough. No question about that. I wouldn't worry too much what should be normal, whatever that is.

And things are going to be better. It's going to take some time.
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Old 01-04-2020, 06:25 AM
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I’m also relatively new to sobriety Jen. 18 days. Those first couple days are complete and utter hell. Your body is wondering where the alcohol is and is punishing you for not supplying it. I PROMISE you this goes away and it goes away faster that you can imagine right now. But I know right now, every minute seems like an hour for you. Keep pushing through and you will get through this!
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Old 01-04-2020, 06:33 AM
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I cried for a month. It was all I could do to keep it together - and sometimes I just couldn't. All those previously numbed feelings and the previously numbed nervous system were trying desperately to come back into balance.

Body, mind, spirit. They are beginning to heal. Healing takes time.

Hang on. It does get better.

A drink will make it all so much worse. Hang on.
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Old 01-04-2020, 06:46 AM
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For me drinking was like trying to hold a beach ball under water.

All those feelings and emotions I hadnt dealt with came to the surface.

Once you process that backlog of emotion and allow it to clear you'll feel like a free person.
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Old 01-04-2020, 06:50 AM
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Lord, yes!! So normal. And sometimes out of nowhere, seemingly, for me. And yep, doing things that soothe us is key but also sobbing it out was good for me. I was all over the place for a lot longer than a couple days.

I've always been one to pick a funny or a sad movie depending on what will actually help at that time, and crying my eyes into fatigue for a nap, or posting here to get it out....so many options other than drinking if we can take that PAUSE and choose something else.

Glad oyu are here!
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Old 01-04-2020, 07:34 AM
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How are you doing today Jen?
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Old 01-04-2020, 07:52 AM
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I'm with you sister. Crying a river. I used to think it was a great weakness but in the last week I'm realizing These Tears are a Tool. They are a release and I know I need to release whatever emotions are there.

Someone on this site has this gorgeous quote as their signature. I think it is perfection.

“The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.” ~ Isak Dinesen
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Old 01-04-2020, 08:10 AM
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Let all that emotion show itself and come out. The messier the better. A purging of sorts. I think what you are going through is nearly universal in concept although it takes different forms. Exhaustion. Tears. Anger. Stunned. We are in shock and our body is getting back to very low basics if you will. You are doing the really hard part now and you are almost through the worst of it. Stay with us.
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Old 01-04-2020, 09:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Delilah1 View Post
How are you doing today Jen?
Thanks so much for asking. I really appreciate it I am doing ok. I am finding that my emotions come out when I first wake up and again at night time. Its noontime and I dont feel that I could cry if I wanted to, but 3 hours ago was a completely different story. I also suffer from bipolar disorder, so my emotions are all over the place anyway. One hour at a time for the moment. I'm sure tonight will be a different story. Again, thanks for asking!!
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Old 01-04-2020, 09:09 AM
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Jen I went through the same thing in the same time frame. You figure how long we can go just putting emotions aside while we continue drinking. Getting sober can be a wild ride, but it does get better.
Peace Tc
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Old 01-04-2020, 10:17 AM
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The first few days, even the first week can be really rough, as your body is going through a massive adjustment without alcohol. It certainly was for me - I felt like I wanted to jump out of my skin and felt like a total trainwreck.

Be gentle with yourself, and make sure you are properly hydrated and most of all, remember you are not alone! There is a tremendous community of people here who care and have been through what you are experiencing.

Each day will get better and you will emerge a stronger, better YOU for doing this for yourself.
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