cactuslady

I have been sober since Wednesday. Today I blew it.

I put my husband, son and his girlfriend on the plane and came home to find a nasty problem we are having with a neighbor had accelerated. I ignored the neighbor, called hubby and told him and went out and bought a bottle of wine and drank it. It was gone in no time and I passed out.

I drink to escape loneliness (hubby works in another state and is gone for long periods of time), to suppress anger and sadness (beats getting into a fight), to forget my frustrations (then you don't have to face them).

I need to go to AA, but don't care to encounter some people I know belong. I will be moving out of state to be with hubby in a couple of weeks and intend to go then. (Hubby already is attending).

I've been trying to do it on my own and find this site great. But I blew it totally today. I know I can't do it alone. I know I have to go to AA. I just can't do it in this town. I have to hang on until I get to my new location.

This site is great. I guess I am not asking for help, just verbalizing my frustrations to those who understand.

Cactuslady

Phinneas

Well... er, um... if you are moving out of state in a couple of weeks, then who cares if you go to AA now and see people you don't want to see? You won't have to see them again, right? Besides, there will always be personalities we don't like in meetings, at work, in neighborhoods, etc. So, how about you go and take what you like and leave the rest. After all, your recovery is about YOU, no one else.

You don't have to prolong the misery. You don't have to wait. Honest.

jojo

Ama

Dear Cactuslady,

I know that when I go to meetings I dont drink. I just blew it too!!!! Went on a very successful business trip......but I have to tell you that I only stayed dry till last Sunday and then really started to binge badly last Thursday. I drink on lonely too but my biggest trigger seems to be when things in life start to work out.

Now I am back in the land of aftermath. Blacked out pretty much all weekend. I am scared to find out who I may have spoken to.....the bits I do remember are not good - but drink never ever is for me. The outcome is always the same and I feel really stupid for falling yet again. I will get to a meeting tonight - there is no option if I really want to get recovery. Lets get better together......Luvs Ama

ChrisMan

(((Cactuslady)))

I really feel your pain. It's easier to get sober than remain sober. I agree that you should go right away to meetings...do what you need for recovery, regardless of other circumstances.

We can be sober only in the present moment. The past is gone and the future is not yet here. But right now, at this moment, you are sober (you were when you posted, in any case). So congratulations on beginning your sobriety!