Told my husband today I must stop drinking
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 207
Told my husband today I must stop drinking
My husband has expressed concern about how much I've been drinking (he has probably 3 every night himself) and I have talked about cutting back or stopping for a while.
But no. I had 2 glasses of wine and a Benedictine & Brandy on Christmas Eve. (I am not counting the milliliter of communion wine.) And 2 glasses of wine and a cocktail on Christmas. And a LOT yesterday including (but lot limited to) a whole bottle of Chardonnay. I threw up from it this morning, which hasn't happened in more than a year.
When told my my husband this morning that I have to stop drinking completely, he asked "Why are you drinking so much?" I don't know the answer, but I suspect I am self-medicating and may need to go back on lexapro. And I may have a genetic predisposition inherited from my alcoholic grandmother.
There is no more Chardonnay in the house and I poured the rest of the Capt. Morgan down the kitchen sink. And there's no vodka or Prosecco in the house. The rest of what's in the house (gin, bourbon, scotch, red wine) I don't drink.
I started reading on the AA and Smart Recovery websites. We'll be going away to warmer climes for a month (ah, retirement!) and I should have time to read, relax, color, walk a lot, play miniature golf with the grandkids... and not drink. And I'll be reading and posting here a lot.
Thanks for reading this long tale.
It's Day 1.
But no. I had 2 glasses of wine and a Benedictine & Brandy on Christmas Eve. (I am not counting the milliliter of communion wine.) And 2 glasses of wine and a cocktail on Christmas. And a LOT yesterday including (but lot limited to) a whole bottle of Chardonnay. I threw up from it this morning, which hasn't happened in more than a year.
When told my my husband this morning that I have to stop drinking completely, he asked "Why are you drinking so much?" I don't know the answer, but I suspect I am self-medicating and may need to go back on lexapro. And I may have a genetic predisposition inherited from my alcoholic grandmother.
There is no more Chardonnay in the house and I poured the rest of the Capt. Morgan down the kitchen sink. And there's no vodka or Prosecco in the house. The rest of what's in the house (gin, bourbon, scotch, red wine) I don't drink.
I started reading on the AA and Smart Recovery websites. We'll be going away to warmer climes for a month (ah, retirement!) and I should have time to read, relax, color, walk a lot, play miniature golf with the grandkids... and not drink. And I'll be reading and posting here a lot.
Thanks for reading this long tale.
It's Day 1.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 308
Good for you! Sounds like you realized you were developing a problem before it really got out of control. You’ll find every level of drinker/ex-drinker here.
Good luck and looking forward to your updates!
Good luck and looking forward to your updates!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 207
Originally Posted by VinnyMcM 
Good for you! Sounds like you realized you were developing a problem before it really got out of control.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
From your first post:
Perhaps you'll consider it now. Good luck.
Originally Posted by LilyLady1
I must stop the drinking ... and drop 50 pounds, too. My plan is to come here often. If that isn't enough I will consider AA.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,444
Welcome, Lily, and the main thing is to find something that works for you to ensure you stop drinking and stay sober. Your plans to walk, read, spend time with the grandkids all sound like helpful ideas. And, you will always find support and inspiration here at SR. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 207
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
From your first post:
Perhaps you'll consider it now. Good luck.
Perhaps you'll consider it now. Good luck.
I have started reading the book on the AA website and started reading at the Smart Recovery site. I have also identified meetings of both within a couple of miles of our home and where we are traveling to. If I have one drink from this point forward, then I will go to a meeting. Probably a Smart meeting.
I realize this may look like kicking the can down the road.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,506
LilyLady - I'm so glad you've made the decision to eliminate it from your life.
It took me a long time to acknowledge that it was never going to be fun, entertaining, or relaxing again. I had counted on it to help me be happy & carefree - and in the end, no amount I drank gave me the results I craved. So I ramped up my drinking - and of course it led to chaos.
You can do it, Lily. Congrats on Day 1.
It took me a long time to acknowledge that it was never going to be fun, entertaining, or relaxing again. I had counted on it to help me be happy & carefree - and in the end, no amount I drank gave me the results I craved. So I ramped up my drinking - and of course it led to chaos.
You can do it, Lily. Congrats on Day 1.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
My recently deceased mother was an alcoholic. I have two siblings and I was the lucky one to inherit the alcoholic gene. Siblings are 2-3 drinks at the most type drinkers. Having a genetic predisposition for alcoholism plays a factor for sure.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Going to AA needn't be a last resort.
There are lots of very wonderful people who frequent meetings that entered for a wide variety of reasons and at all levels of "problem" drinking. As they (we) say, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
Mind you, this is being written by perhaps the Most Resistant AA Resister on the Continent. That's probably a slight exaggeration, but I most definitely had my preconceived notions and biases. It's not what I thought. Reading the book is a fantastic first start - particularly and especially the first 164 pages (is that right, Carl?), as that IS the program.
I still have issues with AA, but that's mostly because of people being human and "embellishing" (as they will insist on doing), not with the program itself.
Not exhorting here, just sayin.
O
There are lots of very wonderful people who frequent meetings that entered for a wide variety of reasons and at all levels of "problem" drinking. As they (we) say, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
Mind you, this is being written by perhaps the Most Resistant AA Resister on the Continent. That's probably a slight exaggeration, but I most definitely had my preconceived notions and biases. It's not what I thought. Reading the book is a fantastic first start - particularly and especially the first 164 pages (is that right, Carl?), as that IS the program.
I still have issues with AA, but that's mostly because of people being human and "embellishing" (as they will insist on doing), not with the program itself.
Not exhorting here, just sayin.
O
01-14-2019
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
Hi Lilylady, you can do this. I had come to the same conclusion myself. I told my husband I had to 100% quit. He was my main drinking buddy. So I did. I’ve even went on a vacation this year, and my husband had his drinks but I stayed way. It was really awesome not waking up hungover or worrying about the nights drink and really savoring the local food without having my taste buds tainted with drink.
I’m rooting for you!
I’m rooting for you!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,504
Sounds like a good Plan to me lilylady.
I used to attend AA many years ago. There wasn't much else available to people as is now. Still, it kept me sober for five years and taught me a lot. Still, I had reservations throughout those five years.
But I met people, and I experienced what it meant to be sober for five years, even with reservation.
I achieved a lot during that time, but could still not meld (?) myself to AA, or its essentials outside of getting sober, that is. We were too odd an couple.. I've thought about returning, but know it wouldnt last. So, I've returned here.
It has probably been said a thousand times before that, "this time I mean it.....". But it seems true for me this time around. I genuinely want sobriety. (I guess everyone does).. There are no drawbacks. I can see what sobriety can offer. "The Promises".
Good plan to stop drinking lilylady. How could I have ever thought that consuming alcohol in the manner I did was an ok thing to do? That's the insanity , hey? Well I was insane. And now I'm not. Partly, maybe.
Here's to all our sobriety.
I used to attend AA many years ago. There wasn't much else available to people as is now. Still, it kept me sober for five years and taught me a lot. Still, I had reservations throughout those five years.
But I met people, and I experienced what it meant to be sober for five years, even with reservation.
I achieved a lot during that time, but could still not meld (?) myself to AA, or its essentials outside of getting sober, that is. We were too odd an couple.
. I've thought about returning, but know it wouldnt last. So, I've returned here.It has probably been said a thousand times before that, "this time I mean it.....". But it seems true for me this time around. I genuinely want sobriety. (I guess everyone does).
. There are no drawbacks. I can see what sobriety can offer. "The Promises". Good plan to stop drinking lilylady. How could I have ever thought that consuming alcohol in the manner I did was an ok thing to do? That's the insanity , hey? Well I was insane. And now I'm not. Partly, maybe.
Here's to all our sobriety.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 207
Originally Posted by Steely
It has probably been said a thousand times before that, "this time I mean it.....". But it seems true for me this time around.
Come to think of it, I did not drink daily or in such volume until I quit smoking. For a long time, it seemed to damp down the anxiety.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 308
I too quit smoking 12 years ago. Tried at least 10 times. 1 through 9 attempts just felt off. The 10th time something just clicked. I have no idea how to explain it.
This is how I feel with alcohol right now.
This is how I feel with alcohol right now.
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