tornrealization

I know it's my problem, but I was around a significant amount of drinking for the holidays. I had my escape plans and I left. Some people where sad to see me leave others understood. I found myself annoyed the first 30-60 minutes being around all the drink. Then I relaxed. I don't want to be a grump no more and I'm hoping it comes with time.

I'm gonna hit a year soon the app says 18 days. I really enjoyed being awake and not hung over for the holidays. That alone was so foreign and awesome I'll continue.

So I need an attitude check. I'm still grumpy in the beginning of parties. All the knowing it's my problem and blah blah blah I read didn't stop it from happening. Maybe my sober muscles are still weak sauce. Thanks for listening. Let me know when you stopped feeling agitated.

ciowa

Congratulations on nearing a year.

As for how long, I have less time in than you so I have no clue how long it takes to be around booze.

For me, I was a binge drinker so I didn't like being around boozers when I wasn't drinking. Unless I was drinking, drunk people annoyed me and got on my nerves.

Now that Im in recovery I don't have any desire to go to bars and parties. I doubt that will change with time and Ill just avoid scenes where people are drinking and thats good with me.

iwilltryagain

Great question - During my initial days that was my problem too. My friend circle involved drinks. I lit up. When I got sober they had hard time realizing wtf just happened. It took for my friends at least a month to realize. For me to be immune to temptation took me roughly 4 months. For almost 4 months I stayed away from friends (most of them), I made excuses, purposely got busy with something to avoid them. But it's not easy to be around the alcohol and think that you can be immune. It builds over time. Basically, you are training your brain to think differently. Remember this is new you. If you go down the easy path which you have trained your brain, you will exactly land where you started. Having said all of that I am vigilant all the time...regardless how many days sober I am. Hope that helps.....

Snufkin

Hello tornrealization! So glad you posted. I'm also going to be one year sober next month and I'm going through something a little similar. I'm not tempted when I'm around alcohol and I can usually have a good time at parties with my friends IF I'm leaving early. When I decide to stay longer than two hours, I become incredibly annoyed, grumpy and passive aggressive.

My boyfriend's old friend who now lives abroad is back in town with his girlfriend. Yesterday they invited us to a local bar and we all went together. Turned out they are heavy drinkers, but I had a good time for the first hour. For some reason I decided to stay with them until the end, and of course I became mean, irritated and sooo angry, especially at my poor boyfriend. Yeah, they got stupid drunk and the guy kept asking me if I'm sure I don't want to drink with them, but I'm still feeling ashamed of my grumpiness and I'm a little sad today.

I plan to avoid being around heavy drinkers, but I still hope I can have more control over my emotions.

DriGuy

It varies from person to person, and probably varies with the intensity of the boozing you will be around. At around 5 months it was my turn to host the monthly poker party, and there would be alcohol there, but it was more poker than drinking. I was the biggest drinker in the group. I worried about this for a month until someone in AA brought up the escape plan, the value of which I immediately saw, and I adopted it right away. My first concern was having an escape plan from my own house. How do you do that? I decided I would just leave, with or without an explanation, but hopefully with one, while insisting that no one else leave on my account. The parties seldom went beyond 1:00 AM.

As it turned out, I didn't need to escape, and even mentioned to the group that I hadn't had a drink in 5 months. No one made jokes about it, and one guy said, "You know, sometimes a guy just needs to quit." The escape plan did two things for me 1. It gave me confidence to know that I was committed to escape if I had to, and 1. It allowed me to be around moderate drinking, although I did and still would consider that a high risk environment at 5 months.

A heavy two fisted drinking party held no interest for me at that time, and even today I would not attend, not because I would be tempted to drink, but because I would be bored out of my skull.

Some people may not be comfortable attending a moderate drinking situation for a year or more. It's easy enough measuring your comfort level to use as a guide. But what you really need to do is be able to measure your resistance to drinking in a risk situation, and that's much harder to do. I don't know how you do that. About the only thing I can think of is if you have the slightest doubt, don't go. Always err on the side of safety.

Callas

I doubt if I ever will feel comfortable at parties again. It is easier to just consider that part of my life done. In all honesty, I really have had enough parties.

Surrendered19

I'm still working that one out. I was around some drinking over Christmas and it didn't really bother me but I definitely thought about it some. I'm living in Day 37 here so I am new at this. Coming to terms with how pervasive alcohol is will be a long term project for me. It is everywhere. At all social occasions, all over television, every restaurant, every sporting event, on every corner. I can drive 5 minutes in any direction and be drinking just that fast. My thinking about the difference between having booze in the house and having booze available in all of the other ways it is, as I said, still a work in progress in my amateur sober brain. Right now I just avoid it like the plague. A tough issue.

Paperbag

I'm with you on that. I have still been attending bike rallies with my motorbike club where I'm the only sober one. Pretty much the only puropse of these rallies is to get really drunk, and that's it. I don't enjoy them and have just put it down to a part of my life that I no longer participate in. I suppose it's not to far away from someone who was a runner for most of their lives then lost their legs in a car accident. Not as fun turning up and watching everyone else doing it.

Kaneda8888

At least 12 months before I could bear being inside a bar and probably the same with being surrounded by alcohol. But as said previously, it varies a lot for each person. Even after 3+ years sobriety, my wife once left a bottle of vodka in the kitchen. After a few days, I had to remove it as it made me edgy. Nowadays, I am thankful that I am indifferent to any alcohol.

ciowa

I used to go to the bars until closing and that was where most of my "social drinking" happened. While there I would often end up chatting up strangers, taking pics with the regulars, singing along in groups to the jukebox, dancing with all kind of people and stuff like that. I can't imagine how or why I would end up doing that stuff while sober so I don't see any reason to be back in those situations, and like you, I figure it was time to move on. Plus Im getting older and even if, by magic, I was to return to being a normal drinker (which is impossible), do I really want to be the old guy at the bar dancing around with much younger people and carrying on? Its time for me to move on now.

SoberRican

For me its just I dont drink anymore. I'll still go to places. Even though I have been to them. Now I'm actually into the places I go. Because before as long as there was booze I could care less about the rest. If that makes sense. Its like my first time there. I'm actually checking the places out.

Atlast9999

Dee74

I didn't really put myself in the line of fire again until my second year.
By then I knew I would not drink no matter what so that was no longer an issue.

Initially I had a fairly low threshold for drunks, but I got over that pretty quickly - what other people do is really none of my business...unless they're being obnoxious. Then I leave.

I spent Xmas with my family - made my excuses after lunch when people were starting to get messy drunk. Still had a good time overall..

I was/am fine with friends and family in small groups, but larger groups are tougher.

I felt uneasy in social occasions where I didn't know many people - I still do but thats the real me...that social awkwardness was one of the things that pushed me into drinking in the first place.

Now? its me - I'm over 50 and comfortable with myself - people can like it or lump it.

I don't break out into cold sweats or feel sick meeting new people anymore - I get people talking bout themselves - usually works a treat

D

Abraham

I would say about a month or so.

HeadEast

Not for me.

tornrealization

Wow thanks for all the insights shared! I’m hoping I’ll do better with this next year. I have and still avoid pure drinking events with friends and family. I skipped several 40th birthday ragers this year. I even didn’t go to mine which was a beer fest ... planned before I went sober, so I didn’t go. Christmas was trickier because it wasn’t parties but family gatherings...with lots of booze. Those I cut out early. Those I’d like to be more comfortable with next year. I imagine I should be more at ease the more sobriety time I have.

tornrealization

This is absolutely spot on!

Abraham

yea, we are all different so times will vary. All we can do is answer with the time frame we believe to be true based on our experience. Really I was already used to being around around it when I quit. But after about 3 weeks to a month I was fine with it. I could say "not for me" to all the other replies but I feel a direct answer is more helpful. Hopefully your time frame was much less than mine.

ClarkGrizwold

congrats on the almost a year... I am only on day 138 and i feel grumpy and moody almost every day. The cravings are not as frequent and yes if i am around it i think about drinking. its engrained into us. For me, i just get away from it. i am still early in my recovery and i don't want anything to do with it or be around it, hell i sometimes change the TV channel when a commercial comes on

VinnyMcM

I can relate to this. There is no book to tell you when you are ready. Everyone is different. I’m only 11 days in and being around alcohol just doesn’t bother or trigger me. I know that’s controversial but that’s just how my brain is functioning. I think the main reason I feel like that is due to my ER trip, I now have a voice in my head that says “if you have another drink, you will die.”

As for being around large parties, I avoid them just for the fact I despise small talk. Always have. Even when I was drinking.