My last post
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: US
Posts: 264
My last post
My last post was 5/2017. I had stopped drinking for 4 months that post told everyone that I had been drinking that day. Well let me tell you how it continued until now.
I continued to drink every day .. My depression from my drinking became so bad that I was close to suicide I had a plan and a place just not the guts to pull it off. I drank all the time and was very aware of everything. I knew when I was drunk, I heard every comment people made about me as I was drunk. (don’t always believe someone won’t remember in the morning.) This made me even more depressed because my mom was a heavy drinker and I use to be so mean to her thinking she wouldn’t remember in the morning anyway. God how I wish I could take that back now that I know how she must have felt every day. I really need to forgive myself for that. She passed away 20 years ago this May. I was also very aware that I did nothing but sit around watching tv, surfing the net while drinking, not wanting to go anywhere, not picking up the phone, not cleaning my house, looking out the window and knowing it was such a beautiful day and I was doing nothing. I cried so hard every night from 3 in the morning until it was time to get up and go to work. I made an appointment with my doctor to get bloodwork and a checkup and decided to open up about my drinking but not about the depression. I did not get the reaction I was looking for; I got the third degree about how bad it was for me to be drinking like that a that I needed to stop (no kidding). When I left the office, I felt worse about myself and now it was stamped all over my health record. I looked online for anything to help and found web-site called Excel at Life and it has saved my life! It said that
it was okay to thrive for change but if that change didn’t happen “so what” no need to depress yourself about it. I have been going to this site everyday for a year now. Today I am happy to say that I have pulled myself out of that deep hole that I was in and have not had a drink for 14 days. I will never touch alcohol again ever, I found day 1 again and I will never let it go it is to hard to catch.
Sorry for the long post.
I continued to drink every day .. My depression from my drinking became so bad that I was close to suicide I had a plan and a place just not the guts to pull it off. I drank all the time and was very aware of everything. I knew when I was drunk, I heard every comment people made about me as I was drunk. (don’t always believe someone won’t remember in the morning.) This made me even more depressed because my mom was a heavy drinker and I use to be so mean to her thinking she wouldn’t remember in the morning anyway. God how I wish I could take that back now that I know how she must have felt every day. I really need to forgive myself for that. She passed away 20 years ago this May. I was also very aware that I did nothing but sit around watching tv, surfing the net while drinking, not wanting to go anywhere, not picking up the phone, not cleaning my house, looking out the window and knowing it was such a beautiful day and I was doing nothing. I cried so hard every night from 3 in the morning until it was time to get up and go to work. I made an appointment with my doctor to get bloodwork and a checkup and decided to open up about my drinking but not about the depression. I did not get the reaction I was looking for; I got the third degree about how bad it was for me to be drinking like that a that I needed to stop (no kidding). When I left the office, I felt worse about myself and now it was stamped all over my health record. I looked online for anything to help and found web-site called Excel at Life and it has saved my life! It said that
it was okay to thrive for change but if that change didn’t happen “so what” no need to depress yourself about it. I have been going to this site everyday for a year now. Today I am happy to say that I have pulled myself out of that deep hole that I was in and have not had a drink for 14 days. I will never touch alcohol again ever, I found day 1 again and I will never let it go it is to hard to catch.
Sorry for the long post.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Welcome back Sammy. That is an incredible story. I am so happy you made it back to being sober and SR. I am living in Day 36 right now after decades of insanity. Being sober is so much easier, simpler, better. We just don't drink anymore, ever again. Simple as that. 2 weeks is amazing Sammy. Let's keep on the road together.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 547
Congratulations on 14 days, Take it 1 day at a time and please be kind to yourself. You have found something that works for you and you now have a solid foundation to build on. I found so much help and support at SR that was my foundation, read and post often it truly helps. Have a happy sober Holiday and New Year Sammy1980.
glad your here
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
I’m glad you found your way back here. Well done on your 2 weeks sober. I hope you stick around and continue to post as I’m sure your story will help some people and you’ll find the support you need.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 308
Glad to hear Sammy! Sounds like you found the source to your drinking and that’s something a lot of people fail to find.
As for that doctor, maybe send a review of your experience to the hospital. The higher ups don’t take those reviews lightly. If he/she blew you off, how many other people walked our feeling the way you did?
Anyway, glad to hear you are on a great path!
As for that doctor, maybe send a review of your experience to the hospital. The higher ups don’t take those reviews lightly. If he/she blew you off, how many other people walked our feeling the way you did?
Anyway, glad to hear you are on a great path!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: US
Posts: 264
Glad to hear Sammy! Sounds like you found the source to your drinking and that’s something a lot of people fail to find.
As for that doctor, maybe send a review of your experience to the hospital. The higher ups don’t take those reviews lightly. If he/she blew you off, how many other people walked our feeling the way you did?
Anyway, glad to hear you are on a great path!
Not sure I found the source I just needed to find me and I have but now I just need to feel like me again. Everyday sober I am finding a little bit more of myself.
Thank you
As for that doctor, maybe send a review of your experience to the hospital. The higher ups don’t take those reviews lightly. If he/she blew you off, how many other people walked our feeling the way you did?
Anyway, glad to hear you are on a great path!
Not sure I found the source I just needed to find me and I have but now I just need to feel like me again. Everyday sober I am finding a little bit more of myself.
Thank you
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