Needing help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 15
Needing help
I have been drinking every day for 18 years and am now up to 2 bottles of red wine, 20 units, I start drinking in the morning when I have the house to myself and drink about 14 units 4pm. Stop until hubby crashes on the sofa around 7.30 then drink the other 6 units. I so desperately want a realistic taper plan and encouragement please.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Welcome to the family Katy! 
You'll get lots of encouragement here, but we can't give you a tapering schedule, as that would amount to medical advice, and we can't give that.
Here in the US doctors often prescribe a few days of a benzo to get you thru the acute withdrawal phase lasting 3 to 5 days, usually. I hope you can get the support you need to get sober for good, both here and in real life.
You'll get lots of encouragement here, but we can't give you a tapering schedule, as that would amount to medical advice, and we can't give that. Here in the US doctors often prescribe a few days of a benzo to get you thru the acute withdrawal phase lasting 3 to 5 days, usually. I hope you can get the support you need to get sober for good, both here and in real life.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
Hi Katy!
Welcome to SoberRecovery! I hope this is the beginning of a permanent sobriety! Tapering instructions are a sensitive topic here. For one thing, we can't give medical advice--what is safe for one person may be dangerous for another. Also, as an alcoholic, tapering was not possible for me due to my lack of self control when it comes to alcohol.
The best advice we can give is to see a doctor. For me, this meant a trip to the ER followed by an in-patient detox program.
Keep reading and posting here. We support you!
Welcome to SoberRecovery! I hope this is the beginning of a permanent sobriety! Tapering instructions are a sensitive topic here. For one thing, we can't give medical advice--what is safe for one person may be dangerous for another. Also, as an alcoholic, tapering was not possible for me due to my lack of self control when it comes to alcohol.
The best advice we can give is to see a doctor. For me, this meant a trip to the ER followed by an in-patient detox program.
Keep reading and posting here. We support you!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 308
Welcome Katy! I just joined a week ago and haven’t had a drink since. And believe me, I was drinking waaaaaay more than you. I ended up going to the ER to deal with the withdrawals. They send me home with a benzo (Librium). I have not even sniffed a craving for booze and am now down to only one pill a day and am on track to be completely off of them next week. That process worked wonders for me. Might be something to think about for yourself.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,473
Welcome, Katy and I'm glad you've decided to stop drinking. Tapering is almost impossible for alcoholics. I tried countless times to try to make it work, and failed. In the end, stopping completely is really far easier. But, it's always a good idea to talk to your doctor because withdrawing from alcohol can be unpredictable and dangerous.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 726
Welcome Katy! Please post here every day and check in. I am on day 60. I feel so much better. You can do this. Reaching out is wonderful. This is a new beginning for you. Can you get to the ER? Become alcohol free and you will find much support and help here.
xo
xo
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
i needed a reason to quit, otherwise i rationalized i was partying every night while others were missing out.
it cost me a lot of respect at my job that I will never recover from, but i don't care. i didn't care about what other people thought when i was drinking and i don't care what they think now.
i care about me and my family. mainly my son and wife.
my reason to quit was because i was in training for a grappling tournament when i nearly crashed my car several times due to a sugar issue or something.
since i quit nearly 5 years ago, i have not been very sick etc. that alone is a reason to never drink again.
i was not a daily drinker, but more like a 4 days a week drinker. my wife used to ask me why i drank all the time. i told her i had a problem.
quitting hurt like hell and i use that pain to remind me why i never need to get addicted again. i am a drug addict for life. i will crave the buzz.
these days my doc are coffee, moringa, exercise, good deeds, projects, and healthy food. basically, normal stuff.
i unlearned drinking. i hate booze. i am a proud non drinker.
i don't look down on active addicts because i know a bit about what they feel.
everyone is different.
Thanks.
it cost me a lot of respect at my job that I will never recover from, but i don't care. i didn't care about what other people thought when i was drinking and i don't care what they think now.
i care about me and my family. mainly my son and wife.
my reason to quit was because i was in training for a grappling tournament when i nearly crashed my car several times due to a sugar issue or something.
since i quit nearly 5 years ago, i have not been very sick etc. that alone is a reason to never drink again.
i was not a daily drinker, but more like a 4 days a week drinker. my wife used to ask me why i drank all the time. i told her i had a problem.
quitting hurt like hell and i use that pain to remind me why i never need to get addicted again. i am a drug addict for life. i will crave the buzz.
these days my doc are coffee, moringa, exercise, good deeds, projects, and healthy food. basically, normal stuff.
i unlearned drinking. i hate booze. i am a proud non drinker.
i don't look down on active addicts because i know a bit about what they feel.
everyone is different.
Thanks.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Hi Katy. SR does indeed "frown" on tapering because most people aren't able to do it effectively, but based on your use of the term units, I suspect you may be in the UK where it seems that the general medical recommendation is to taper? Have you spoken with your physician? Of course, that's the first stop. Believe me, there's nothing they haven't heard, so there's no need for hesitation there (if you're feeling any).
I actually have successfully tapered any number of times. The problem for me is that I was never able to successfully stay stopped. That's a whole other story, though. As far as stopping methods go, medically supervised detox wins hands-down in my book. That still leaves the dilemma of staying stopped... Which really is the harder road. Well worth it once you figure it out.
Hope you stick around - this is a wonderful supportive place chock full of people who understand just where you are.
O
I actually have successfully tapered any number of times. The problem for me is that I was never able to successfully stay stopped. That's a whole other story, though. As far as stopping methods go, medically supervised detox wins hands-down in my book. That still leaves the dilemma of staying stopped... Which really is the harder road. Well worth it once you figure it out.
Hope you stick around - this is a wonderful supportive place chock full of people who understand just where you are.
O
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Welcome Katy1. I'm living in Day 34 here. If you can get to a doc about quitting and get some medical support that would be best. You can do this. I am sober. That is proof beyond any doubt that you can be sober. The calm you will feel is indescribable. Calm and clear and healthy and feeling good. I drank hard for 30 years, the last 20 of those years more volume than you, and the last 10 years, WAY more than you. Your daily intake won't shock anyone around this site. You can quit and stay quit. Please keep posting on this thread and tell us how you are doing. Your Day 1 is coming up and you will be so grateful that you NEVER have to feel like that again.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 104
Hi Katy - Welcome, I can't really help with the taper, but one word leapt out - desperate. Give yourself the gift of desperation for Christmas. For me, it tipped the balance between wanting to drink and wanting to stop - and the rest followed... Best of luck ND
Mr
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: FRANCE
Posts: 5,230
Hi Katy and welcome,
Well done for joining. It's an important move.
Tapering doesnt work for an alcoholic.
My advice is go to your GP tell the truth and ask for an anxiolytic to help with the withdrawl.
Hope to see you posting again.
Happy hols
Vinny.
Well done for joining. It's an important move.
Tapering doesnt work for an alcoholic.
My advice is go to your GP tell the truth and ask for an anxiolytic to help with the withdrawl.
Hope to see you posting again.
Happy hols
Vinny.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Hi Katy, coincidentally, like Vinny, I also was just in the ER for alcohol withdrawal. Just last Thursday. I tried to taper but because I am an alcoholic, I can't control my intake after even one beer.
I was having severe symptoms like visual and auditory hallucinations. I went to the nearest ER and was treated quite promptly. The medication they give you allows you to safely detox. I have been just been chilling out on the sofa watching movies and stuff as my body adjusts to the absence of alcohol. The medication relaxes you and lets you sleep. I haven't had any cravings at all.
After about 2 weeks, you should be completely detoxed, sober, and clear-minded. I highly suggest you go the medical route. I am going into day 6 and feel pretty good already.
I was having severe symptoms like visual and auditory hallucinations. I went to the nearest ER and was treated quite promptly. The medication they give you allows you to safely detox. I have been just been chilling out on the sofa watching movies and stuff as my body adjusts to the absence of alcohol. The medication relaxes you and lets you sleep. I haven't had any cravings at all.
After about 2 weeks, you should be completely detoxed, sober, and clear-minded. I highly suggest you go the medical route. I am going into day 6 and feel pretty good already.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Tell us how this day is going for you Katy. Day 1 or not yet? No matter. Thinking about you on this Christmas morning and wishing a future of health and comfort and calm for you. A new decade coming up. The Roaring 20's. Let's hit it with a few sober days under our belts and never look back. Let us know how this new chapter is going for you. Living in Day 35 here. No difference at all between you and me. When you are at 1000 days sober and I am at 1035, nobody will consider that different. So it's not different now either. Let's do this. Lots of us newbies on here supporting each other, amazing long term people to talk you through ANYTHING, and I imagine in the new year, you and I will have to be among the crew supporting a whole new batch of new year resolutions. Let's do this together.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,159
Tapering is an intuitive idea that doesn't work very well. Most of us have experienced a slow progression into addiction. It happened without difficulty, so intuitively it would seem that we could change direction and reverse the progression back out of the addiction.
But the solution isn't just the reverse of the cure. The alcohol has changed you mentally and physically. It has made you a different person than the one you were when you started. For some reason you cannot unhook from an addiction gradually. It has to be stopped in it's tracks.
If you are into the mental set of tapering, you are still into drinking, and tapering is a great way to not getting around to stopping. Tapering off is what all of us have tried and failed at during some point in our addiction. We called it moderation, and we couldn't do it. We promised ourselves we would not drink as much tonight. We were being sincere too.
But the solution isn't just the reverse of the cure. The alcohol has changed you mentally and physically. It has made you a different person than the one you were when you started. For some reason you cannot unhook from an addiction gradually. It has to be stopped in it's tracks.
If you are into the mental set of tapering, you are still into drinking, and tapering is a great way to not getting around to stopping. Tapering off is what all of us have tried and failed at during some point in our addiction. We called it moderation, and we couldn't do it. We promised ourselves we would not drink as much tonight. We were being sincere too.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 25
Thank you Katy for having the strength to post the despair this diseases has caused us all. Sadly, this Christmas morning I am sad that my disease impacts my children too. Let's both try to make 2020 a year of change. You are not alone!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 742
Alcoholism is often described as an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind.
The trouble I forsee with tapering is once I pick up that first drink I am no longer me. I can't taper from 14 beers to six because when I get to 6 I'm not the same person that decided to taper in the first place. Maybe it's not technically an allergy, doesnt matter much to me what people call it. When I have any alchohol in me I am a different person. My body often responds to alchohol in ways that I do not want it to.
It gets more than complex than an allergy because of the obsession, which grows stronger from the allergy. If someone is allergic to shellfish they don't eat shellfish. They dont go to meetings, they dont fantasize about how wonderful a shrimp cocktail would be. That's where longer term recovery comes in. Learning how to handle the obsession.
The trouble I forsee with tapering is once I pick up that first drink I am no longer me. I can't taper from 14 beers to six because when I get to 6 I'm not the same person that decided to taper in the first place. Maybe it's not technically an allergy, doesnt matter much to me what people call it. When I have any alchohol in me I am a different person. My body often responds to alchohol in ways that I do not want it to.
It gets more than complex than an allergy because of the obsession, which grows stronger from the allergy. If someone is allergic to shellfish they don't eat shellfish. They dont go to meetings, they dont fantasize about how wonderful a shrimp cocktail would be. That's where longer term recovery comes in. Learning how to handle the obsession.
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