trailmix

So I was thinking, if you are here during the "holidays" and do not feel like celebrating this year (like me!) or even if you do and want to post some ramblings or stories or whatever you feel like posting, be that a rant about xmas or about alcoholism or whatever you like, this can be the place!

trailmix

So for me, I don't feel like celebrating xmas soooo I'm going to cook a butterball turkey (the kind with the stuffing and it's just a turkey breast) tomorrow and have a turkey sandwich for dinner! Maybe a hot turkey sandwich if I'm feeling adventurous haha.

What are your non-plans?

NYCDoglvr

Spending Christmas with my brother and sis-in-law plus her 98 year old mother. The elderly lady declined quite a bit but has rallied and we can eat at brother's house instead of assisted living facility. It shows that none of us can predict the future! Very grateful this year. Happy holidays everyone.

suki44883

I'm making a pot of chili and some homemade bread. I never did get in the spirit last year...didn't even put out my tree. This year I'm feeling better.

Abandoned80

ElizabethReed

Thanks trailmix! I've been feeling kind of down about the holidays...I have a lot to be grateful for, and I'm trying to focus on the positive, but it's sad to be without family again at Christmas. I've been no-contact with my parents and youngest brother for nearly two years now and intend to remain so while they're still active in their addictions, to protect myself from the insanity. But over the past few months, it's as though my other family members (grandparents, aunt) finally realized that I am truly serious about no-contact...and in response, they became hostile and started in with big-time guilt-tripping ("...but how can you give up on your brother like that!" etc.). So I gradually stopped speaking to them, as well, and now the only member of my FOO that I talk to at all is my middle brother (who is healthy and sane). He is also the only one from my family who knows that my husband and I have a baby coming in two months. I've gotten past the initial debilitating sadness of no-contact, but it creeps up on me at times...especially holidays...even though I know with absolute certainty that I am much, much better off staying away. I vividly recall Christmas with my FOO two years ago, and it was hideous. Drinking and lying and drama. No thanks.

As far as plans for tomorrow...none really. Maybe go for a walk...the weather here is really beautiful right now. Planning to prepare a nice dinner for the two of us. Going to try making chocolate pots de creme for the first time, so that should be interesting!

I feel like my husband and I need to come up with some new holiday traditions for ourselves, to replace what I've lost, but I just couldn't get psych myself up for anything this year. We didn't bother to get a tree or anything, which makes me sad.

BellaBlue

XAH passed on over 25 years ago. Though I remarried, I had to shepherd bruised and broken kids (and myself) through all the losses. There is still pain, even after all these years, for all of us. Holidays are still tinged with sadness, although I keep things simple and focus on the blessings in my life - there are many.

Merry Christmas to all. May you find the peace of God through this season.

FarmhouseGal

trailmix

suki, I just made chili as well, just finished doing that and made a shephard's pie as well without the potatoes though as I'm going to freeze it for another time!

No decorations for me this year either, I like it that way I think haha - for now anyway.

trailmix

Yes, that is a tough one Elizabeth, now next year, new baby, it will all be so very different!

LifeChangeNYC

hearthealth

I am not to excited this year either. I'm preparing for parties and husband is sitting at the bar. What family festivities?

SmallButMighty

Just call me Ebinezer Grinch.

I was up very early, before 5am, annoyed and b*tchy for no REAL reason. I manufactured a bunch of "good" reasons, then realized I was being dumb so I climbed in the shower and cried it out. Now I'm laying on the couch waiting for it to be light enough outside I can go on a walk and breathe.,,and probably cry some more.

I'm dreading the day. I miss my (grown) kids. I saw pics of them at their Dad's house last night. (Used to be my house too.... so....ouch) I was supposed to be in their area for Xmas this year but it didn't pan out. Next year I WILL be, unless extremely dire circumstances keep me away.

My eldest stepson will be over today after a years absence. He has problems and is a problem.... and ... it's just going to make the day even more awkward and upsetting. If he brings his girlfriend, it will be even more awkward and upsetting. It makes my husband happy he will be here though so I'm happy for him. I know how much I wish I could be with my kids so I get it. *SIGH*

My sister in law and her husband are staying here with us. I do enjoy their company so that is something positive. We were at my father in law's house last night for Xmas eve, they may come over today as well, I hope so. The more people we have here the less weird it will be with the"kid" here. ( At 26yrs old I shouldn't think of him like a child but he acts 15 so it's hard not to!) Youngest step son will be by as well and I am grateful for that. Even though I am not a "mom" to him we are on very good terms.

2019 was actually a very good year for us but for some reason I am feeling glad to have it be gone and behind us.

Thanks for giving us a place to vent our non-touchy-feely feelings about the season Trailmix! It's light enough now I can lace up my shoes and go grind up some pavement.

BAH HUMBUG!

(I truly do hope other people are feeling joy this holiday season)

trailmix

I do too and enough about them haha!

Ok the whole pictures at your former house thing, that's terrible (for you).

I hope your walk was a breeze and you are feeling much better now.

Luckily xmas is only one day right!? We can do this!

trailmix

So if nothing else, this is a day off from work! That makes me happy, day to relax mid-week.

It's really cold where I am, well cold-ish, lots of snow on the ground (I don't like snow either lol).

On the flipside, no real snow in the forecast and it's warming up a bit!

I guess I will put that turkey breast in the oven soon and that's it for cooking today woooooo.

I think I will do my nails and look around at the sales online as well, watch some (non-xmas) tv.

Amaranth

Every time there's a stressful moment brought on by kids on phone to their dad, my sister acting out, etc I just think of my mum's best quote ever, talking about my dad yesterday ....
i've spent the last 50 years trying to change him, now I just ignore him ......

Humour is the only way to survive here

​​​​​​

SmallButMighty

Just got to Skype with my mum. While we were talking my kids called her from their Dad's house to say merry Xmas. *sigh*

My walk was good. My step counter still counts my mileage in KM instead of miles, so I walked to the beach, sat on a log and cried for a bit then walked home, 11km round trip. The tops of my baby toes have blisters.

I spent so many years being miserable all the time due to the codie/alkie marriage to AXH but I always tried (and mostly succeeded) in making wonderful Christmases. NOW I have a wonderful life most of the year and have miserable Christmases. I know if I get to choose (and I guess I did exactly that) this is a much better way to have things. I hope one day I can have the holidays not feel like torture, it would be lovely to feel that Christmas spirit again. But until then... Bleh. Just a few more hours to go.....

trailmix

It is just a few more hours, then xmas 2019 is done and dusted. We keep moving forward to better things.

Food should be ready in an hour, at least theoretically! I'll probably cook it an additional hour lol

That's a LOT of walking SBM.

hearthealth

I spent the day cleaning and cooking. In laws came over and stated they told husband just snacks. Do you think that was important to discuss with wife, ugh.

HardLessons

Yesterday was the third Christmas being apart from her (out of respect for Christmas will call her a her & not an addict)

Her & I haven't contacted each other on any of these Christmas. However in 2017 & 2018 her daughter contacted me on each Christmas day. I was so glad to hear from her. Shes a wonderful kid.

I wondered in the days leading up to yesterday if I would hear from her again. Yesterday came & went but I didn't hear from her. This teen girl is really an innocent casualty of her mother's & my destructive relationship. I was very close with the daughter. I always made sure she was well taken care of on Christmas.

I think its best that she doesn't remember me. I haven't seen her in a long time now. I cant contact her she is only a teen. I have no ones permission to contact her. I hope she is busy & happy in her life.

Its a heartbreaking situation for me. Can only hope & pray the daughter is doing well.