Being replaced hurts...
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 296
Being replaced hurts...
It's Christmas and I'm just feeling 'replaced'. It's been over a year since our marriage ended, 6 months since he tried to reconcile and then went back to alcohol/enabler. KID1 told me about an activity he did with EXAH and enabler. EXAH went and bought duplicate rig for this activity and has simply replaced me. (rig is gathering dust in my garage).
It just hurts.. EXAH been fighting me on his additional Christmas holidays, fighting over next years school drop offs. I get that alcoholics replace, that they fight everybody and everything that rejects THEIR reality. It just sux.
It just hurts.. EXAH been fighting me on his additional Christmas holidays, fighting over next years school drop offs. I get that alcoholics replace, that they fight everybody and everything that rejects THEIR reality. It just sux.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,614
Yes it does. There is nothing good about any of that.
You know, you can't be replaced, you are not interchangeable for others or anything else! But I hear you.
The fact that he bought new gear instead of picking up what he already has is just silly.
There really shouldn't be any argument about visitation? You've got the rules laid out. I would take to answering with a yes or no or something vague.
Funny you would give me visitation on NYE, party night quack quack quack
Reply: Yeah. Funny.
You know, you can't be replaced, you are not interchangeable for others or anything else! But I hear you.
The fact that he bought new gear instead of picking up what he already has is just silly.
There really shouldn't be any argument about visitation? You've got the rules laid out. I would take to answering with a yes or no or something vague.
Funny you would give me visitation on NYE, party night quack quack quack
Reply: Yeah. Funny.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 267
Some aspects of being replaced suck. We have to not focus on those parts and try to focus on the parts of being replaced that rock...these parts are there! I have so much more emotional energy to be me and do what I need to do BECAUSE I've been replaced.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i don't see it so much as being replaced. it's more that they have limited creativity and mental energy, so it is the easier, softer way to try to reproduce what they had before.
when i left my last husband (i was the addict and i just wanted out - it just took seven years of planning to do so) he "found" a new gal in the program who had a young/pre-teen daughter and quickly had them move in. by the time i left my daughter (from a previous marriage) was in college. so he was really just trying to RE-create the scene.
and that didn't turn out so well. turns out the mom was bi-polar and went off her meds and the child was the spawn of satan. and once he moved them IN (i left him the house) he could not get them back out. so one night there was an argument and my ex started pitching her stuff out on the lawn. he did not harm her in anyway, but being a big man of 300+ pound man, angry can LOOK threatening. so she calls the cops and HE gets arrested.
while he was in jail, she slapped a restraining order on him so HE was not allowed back in HIS own house! (gotta give her props for THAT move, eh?). he had to go thru a series of anger management classes before he was allowed re-entry to his own home and she finally left.
he got smart and tried a NEW scenario next time.
when i left my last husband (i was the addict and i just wanted out - it just took seven years of planning to do so) he "found" a new gal in the program who had a young/pre-teen daughter and quickly had them move in. by the time i left my daughter (from a previous marriage) was in college. so he was really just trying to RE-create the scene.
and that didn't turn out so well. turns out the mom was bi-polar and went off her meds and the child was the spawn of satan. and once he moved them IN (i left him the house) he could not get them back out. so one night there was an argument and my ex started pitching her stuff out on the lawn. he did not harm her in anyway, but being a big man of 300+ pound man, angry can LOOK threatening. so she calls the cops and HE gets arrested.
while he was in jail, she slapped a restraining order on him so HE was not allowed back in HIS own house! (gotta give her props for THAT move, eh?). he had to go thru a series of anger management classes before he was allowed re-entry to his own home and she finally left.
he got smart and tried a NEW scenario next time.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 296
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII 
i don't see it so much as being replaced. it's more that they have limited creativity and mental energy, so it is the easier, softer way to try to reproduce what they had before.
when i left my last husband (i was the addict and i just wanted out - it just took seven years of planning to do so) he "found" a new gal in the program who had a young/pre-teen daughter and quickly had them move in. by the time i left my daughter (from a previous marriage) was in college. so he was really just trying to RE-create the scene.
and that didn't turn out so well. turns out the mom was bi-polar and went off her meds and the child was the spawn of satan. and once he moved them IN (i left him the house) he could not get them back out. so one night there was an argument and my ex started pitching her stuff out on the lawn. he did not harm her in anyway, but being a big man of 300+ pound man, angry can LOOK threatening. so she calls the cops and HE gets arrested.
while he was in jail, she slapped a restraining order on him so HE was not allowed back in HIS own house! (gotta give her props for THAT move, eh?). he had to go thru a series of anger management classes before he was allowed re-entry to his own home and she finally left.
he got smart and tried a NEW scenario next time.
when i left my last husband (i was the addict and i just wanted out - it just took seven years of planning to do so) he "found" a new gal in the program who had a young/pre-teen daughter and quickly had them move in. by the time i left my daughter (from a previous marriage) was in college. so he was really just trying to RE-create the scene.
and that didn't turn out so well. turns out the mom was bi-polar and went off her meds and the child was the spawn of satan. and once he moved them IN (i left him the house) he could not get them back out. so one night there was an argument and my ex started pitching her stuff out on the lawn. he did not harm her in anyway, but being a big man of 300+ pound man, angry can LOOK threatening. so she calls the cops and HE gets arrested.
while he was in jail, she slapped a restraining order on him so HE was not allowed back in HIS own house! (gotta give her props for THAT move, eh?). he had to go thru a series of anger management classes before he was allowed re-entry to his own home and she finally left.
he got smart and tried a NEW scenario next time.
For her sake I hope he's not replaying ALL of his old scenarios. He was poisionious drinking, sober and everything in between.
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 296
Originally Posted by Thlayli
Some aspects of being replaced suck. We have to not focus on those parts and try to focus on the parts of being replaced that rock...these parts are there! I have so much more emotional energy to be me and do what I need to do BECAUSE I've been replaced.
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