Started work today by returning the bottle of wine the office managers gave me for Christmas. Very kindly they replaced it with a box of Christmas biscuits.

I am much better than yesterday, I saw a YouTube video which explained as alcohol slows your brain down when you withdraw the reverse happens and they brain speeds up resulting in severe anxiety/panic attacks.

Today in UK is known as Black Friday where a lot of people go out to get drunk it being the Friday before Christmas. Suppose they call it black because of all the trouble and it is the busiest day of the year for the police. I saw some trouble outside a pub this evening when waiting for the bus.

i three all the alcohol left in my flat down the sink yesterday and returned the bottle of wine/poison today so there is now no alcohol in my flat.

I will be so happy and relieved to wake up tomorrow sober with no hangover and no regrets.

As my mental health worker told me today drinking alcohol badly effects my mood and behaviour. That’s the reality to me. For me drinking = drunk = adverse consequences and bad mental and physical health and it’s as simple as that.

I pray everyone is doing well tonight and remain sober.

Well for me AA is difficult in that I don’t want to go to meeting for the rest of my life and would find the service rolls possibly not good for my mental health.

I will be getting one to one alcohol counselling from the NHS. It’s my preference to deal with professionals who are accountable than anonymous people I do not know.

I am not knocking AA they really do help a lot of alcoholics get permanent sobriety and are a free service available 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

Someone from AA is going to call me tomorrow so I don’t know how I am going to deal with that.