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The Dangers of Complacency

Old 12-16-2019, 11:07 PM
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The Dangers of Complacency

Well, I relapsed. I have 30 days now, but this one almost killed me. AfterI was woken up from a two day blackout by a seizure, I got my neighbor to get me beer to start tapering. I had friends staying with me the whole time to make sure I didn’t die, but the damage done in the first two days was too much to overcome with a beer taper. On the fourth day of the taper, I couldn’t drink fast enough to keep the withdrawal at bay, so I consented to my friend taking me to the hospital. But, he tried to help me use the bathroom on the way out of the house and I fell and broke the toilet with my head. When he dragged me into the car, I was afraid that it was too late for help.

He had to drag me out of the car and hold me upright in the wheel chair as all physical coordination was gone. My blood test indicated a BAC of .556, and I was still showing signs of withdrawal. They were just as shocked as I was that they got me stabilized enough to walk out under my own power a few hours later. I had my friends take me directly to a withdrawal management detox center. I spent the night and checked out the next afternoon.

I had severe shakes for three weeks, but my nervous system finally regulated on its own.

In hindsight, there were numerous red flags that I ignored, and they are all written down for me to reflect on every time I feel stressed or overwhelmed. But mostly, I just feel extremely fortunate to be alive with minimal long-term damage.

Time to re-prioritize what’s important for my recovery and get back to the business of living.
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Old 12-16-2019, 11:48 PM
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thank you for sharing, it reminded me I can't let myself go through relapse.
I hope you get better soon, take care buddy.
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Old 12-16-2019, 11:50 PM
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Man I am really sorry you had to go through all that Sweaty Hands.
I am really glad you made it back tho.

so what does 're-prioritizing what’s important for my recovery' look like for you?

D
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Old 12-16-2019, 11:54 PM
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That is scary stuff. So glad you're ok.
Congrats on 30 days.
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Old 12-17-2019, 01:23 AM
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I'm glad you survived, SweatyHands, you were fortunate to have your friend take you to hospital. Congratulations on Day 30.

Maybe keep a copy of your post as a reminder of where alcohol leads to, for reading when a drinking thought arises.
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Old 12-17-2019, 01:59 AM
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Very similar happened to me, you get to a stage in alcoholism where hospital detox is the only safe way. Don't do what I did and relapse yet again a bit later because once you withdraw like that it stays and it's lethal. I'm so glad you made it and hope everything goes well for you.
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Old 12-17-2019, 04:23 AM
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Welcome back and congratulations on your 30 days Sweatyhands!
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Old 12-17-2019, 04:33 AM
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Indeed a reminder to us all! So glad you are ok. Stay close.
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Old 12-17-2019, 04:34 AM
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I’m glad you made it back after that chilling account. Congrats on having a month sober now. Please stick around and post more.
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Old 12-17-2019, 05:35 AM
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Jeez man, that is indeed chilling. Glad you made it out of there unscathed.
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Old 12-17-2019, 05:39 AM
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My blood test indicated a BAC of .556, and I was still showing signs of withdrawal.

Wow! Glad you made it back.

Make sure this is the "last time," the next time could very well kill you.
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Old 12-17-2019, 06:04 AM
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So sorry this happened to you Sweatyhands.

I've been close myself. Fell off a ferry once. Between the wharf and the boat. Fell off a train. Don't ask me how I survived.

Once, finished up on a drunken/ridiculous train trip to the Blue Mountains late at night. On my own. No-one around. A car stopped and 'watched' me. I had to run to the overhead bridge so that I could at least have a vantage point. I watched him, as he watched me.

If not for a garbage truck (oh, the irony) using the road late at night don't know know what would have happened. Dead in the Blue Mountains, never to be found. All alcohol related. Always putting myself in unsafe situations. Insane.

I am totally committed to sobriety now Sweatyhands. I'm too old for it too.

Feel embarressed disclosing this to people, but it IS my truth. A cautionary tale. Particularly for women. It was so scary.

Glad you have seen the light, just as I, and will never have to endure this bs ever again. This stuff really is life and death.

I choose Life. So glad you have too.

Sipping hot milk with nutmeg and hitting the sack. Sober.

So glad you made it.
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Old 12-17-2019, 06:28 AM
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Wow man thats hardcore. Glad you made it tho. Id say its time to put that fire out. Quit playing with it feel me.
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Old 12-17-2019, 06:44 AM
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Hi,

I am very sorry you had to go through such an ordeal.
I have been there. Its healthy for you to write it out and me to read it.
So grateful you are blessed with wonderful friends and 30 days sober.
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Old 12-17-2019, 06:46 AM
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Welcome back SweatyHands. Glad you are still with us and have another chance at this, hope we can help you re-prioritize and move forward.
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Old 12-17-2019, 06:55 AM
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That is one of the more chilling stories I have read here. I'm pretty amazed you are here to tell us about it.

I think the universe has sent you a huge sign that you are meant to be here, SweatyHands.

Keep those written-down warning signs close by. They could save your life. I think you fully realize what can happen if you get complacent and drink again.

Thank you so much for sharing your story here. You may have stopped someone from relapsing today, you never know.
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Old 12-17-2019, 07:02 AM
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Holy s*** you are lucky to still be here. I'm thankful for that. Please learn from this because obviously the first drink for you could turn fatal. I wish you well.
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Old 12-17-2019, 08:44 AM
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Wow, what luck you had friends around to help get you to the hospital.

I had a similar rock bottom story and a few more after that. The last trip to the hospital in late 2014 I made a decision to end the madness.

I hope this is your last trip as well.
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Old 12-17-2019, 08:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Man I am really sorry you had to go through all that Sweaty Hands.
I am really glad you made it back tho.

so what does 're-prioritizing what’s important for my recovery' look like for you?

D
Thanks for asking Dee. The most important thing for me in re-prioritizing is making self-care mandatory. White-knuckling through stressful periods has always led me directly to a relapse. For me, self-care can look like anything; going to bed early instead of staying up to watch tv, asking for help when I have too much on my plate, logging into an online meeting, calling a friend in recovery, telling my wife that I’m having a bad day, walking my dog, taking a bath, basically anything I can do to slow down when I’m overwhelmed.

I’m also trying to write down every time I think about drinking and every time I catch myself trying to hide my behavior during the day. Seeing this all in writing helps me to see that these thoughts are always going to be with me, but I don’t have to do anything with them when they come up.

I’ve put a lot of effort into getting my nutrition regulated to keep my body as physically resourced as possible. I consulted with a nutritionalist about diet for recovery, and I’m getting back to being on the keto diet.

And for me, setting solid boundaries with people is extremely important. My habit of saying “yes” to everyone to keep people happy just leads to resentment and self-pity, and that is a shortcut to self medicating. Being disappointed with myself is far more dangerous than any imaginary disappointment I think others feel towards me.

And of course, keeping up with my regular therapy sessions is important to every part of my life.
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Old 12-17-2019, 08:52 AM
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Wow that is an amazing turn of events. I am really glad you are here with us and made it through that. I think that might be your last shot at that, right? Stay here and let's stay sober. We don't drink anymore. Thank you for sharing that powerful story. There go all of us if we drink.
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