Walking up a very steep hill
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Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 471
Walking up a very steep hill
The thought of next year feels overwhelming - like ive got a mountain to climb. So many things to tackle. There better be a good view from the top.
I'm finding the "magic of Christmas" and "most wonderful time of the year" ads on TV infuriating.
It's the end of a long, sad year.
I'm finding the "magic of Christmas" and "most wonderful time of the year" ads on TV infuriating.
It's the end of a long, sad year.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Yep, the holiday crap grates on me at the best of times, and the irritation factor goes up by an order of magnitude when I'm struggling particularly hard in my own life, that's for sure.
How much are you able to insulate yourself from all that? I really, really dislike almost all the common forms of "Christmas" that I see around me, so I do things like make sure I never turn the radio to the station that I know plays nothing but Christmas music. I mean, you can only put so many different spins on "Jingle Bells" or "Frosty the Snowman", right? If I listen to Christmas tunes, I look for classical or New Age types of music, finding them much more uplifting.
I do my best to avoid all forms of shopping other than grocery shopping from just before Thanksgiving until after Christmas, although the )&#%# Christmas stuff is in the stores before HALLOWEEN, these days.
I make sure to allow myself quiet time alone, both in my house and in nature. I light candles. I really don't decorate other than to bring in some evergreens, to honor life going on in the depths of darkness and cold. You might find meaning in a ceremony along those lines this year.
And most of all, I remind myself that MY Christmas does not have to be defined by Hallmark, family members, friends, or anyone other than me.
I truly don't know if any of this will be helpful to you; I'm 59, no kids, and the family has not bought gifts for each other in many years, so it's not all that difficult for me to do as I please. Plus I'm someone who enjoys time spent alone. If you're someone who really likes the traditions as well as spending time with others--cookie exchange, maybe church, lots of get-togethers with family and friends--it might be harder for you to carve out a new way of having Christmas.
The holidays are hard when our lives don't seem to measure up, no doubt about it. However, dandy and I have both said that to us, it seems that there is something healing about making it through that first year. Once the circle has come around, once you're past that "first Christmas w/o the A", once you've gone through all of the "first this" and "first that", big and small, w/o the A, it seems that things become much more manageable. Closing the circle is a big thing.
Maybe, if you don't have one yet, pick up or make a wreath to remind yourself of that. Make it as traditional or alternative as you like. Each day is a circle, the seasons are a cycle, and the circle of the year will bring you to a new and better place, with new ways of seeing and understanding.
How much are you able to insulate yourself from all that? I really, really dislike almost all the common forms of "Christmas" that I see around me, so I do things like make sure I never turn the radio to the station that I know plays nothing but Christmas music. I mean, you can only put so many different spins on "Jingle Bells" or "Frosty the Snowman", right? If I listen to Christmas tunes, I look for classical or New Age types of music, finding them much more uplifting.
I do my best to avoid all forms of shopping other than grocery shopping from just before Thanksgiving until after Christmas, although the )&#%# Christmas stuff is in the stores before HALLOWEEN, these days.
I make sure to allow myself quiet time alone, both in my house and in nature. I light candles. I really don't decorate other than to bring in some evergreens, to honor life going on in the depths of darkness and cold. You might find meaning in a ceremony along those lines this year.
And most of all, I remind myself that MY Christmas does not have to be defined by Hallmark, family members, friends, or anyone other than me.
I truly don't know if any of this will be helpful to you; I'm 59, no kids, and the family has not bought gifts for each other in many years, so it's not all that difficult for me to do as I please. Plus I'm someone who enjoys time spent alone. If you're someone who really likes the traditions as well as spending time with others--cookie exchange, maybe church, lots of get-togethers with family and friends--it might be harder for you to carve out a new way of having Christmas.
The holidays are hard when our lives don't seem to measure up, no doubt about it. However, dandy and I have both said that to us, it seems that there is something healing about making it through that first year. Once the circle has come around, once you're past that "first Christmas w/o the A", once you've gone through all of the "first this" and "first that", big and small, w/o the A, it seems that things become much more manageable. Closing the circle is a big thing.
Maybe, if you don't have one yet, pick up or make a wreath to remind yourself of that. Make it as traditional or alternative as you like. Each day is a circle, the seasons are a cycle, and the circle of the year will bring you to a new and better place, with new ways of seeing and understanding.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Good morning, everyone!!!
So much truth in your posts. "Climbing the Mountain" is SO true on so many levels.
All the Christmas !#*$&%$ used to bug me too. I am pretty much oblivious to it now.
I called a cousin in Florida the other day and had a nice chat. She is the only family member I exchange gifts with every year. I am planning to go see her in late April.
So much truth in your posts. "Climbing the Mountain" is SO true on so many levels.
All the Christmas !#*$&%$ used to bug me too. I am pretty much oblivious to it now.
I called a cousin in Florida the other day and had a nice chat. She is the only family member I exchange gifts with every year. I am planning to go see her in late April.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: The Beach
Posts: 1,106
Originally Posted by Wombaticus 
There better be a good view from the top.
You can count me among those of us feeling "bah humbug" about all the Christmas hype. It has been years since I enjoyed a happy holiday season. My AXH ruined our last few Christmases together, then my Dad died in Dec 2015, then I moved far away from my family... I just can't get into Christmas anymore.
Hang in there!
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Wombaticus,
What help and support do you have right now? Our recovery happens one day at a time.
What help are you willing to be open to receiving?
Are you working with a doctor for your own health goals? Wellness includes happiness and feeling well in all ways. Vitamin D deficiency can create extra problems that are fairly simple to address. Hormone or mineral imbalance? Ditto that!
What is your home life like right now? Is there unrecognized or unreleased anger and frustration that could use some recognition, honoring and healthy releases?
What help and support do you have right now? Our recovery happens one day at a time.
What help are you willing to be open to receiving?
Are you working with a doctor for your own health goals? Wellness includes happiness and feeling well in all ways. Vitamin D deficiency can create extra problems that are fairly simple to address. Hormone or mineral imbalance? Ditto that!
What is your home life like right now? Is there unrecognized or unreleased anger and frustration that could use some recognition, honoring and healthy releases?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
I use to hate Christmas time. Property taxes, end of year taxes, spending like crazy. All my savings gone. I believed that life should always be fair, easy and painless and I should always get what I want. I made money and feeling good, false idols. I was ungrateful for what I had. I drank and did drugs to regain control over how I felt.
Fast forward: God changed my thinking and changed my life. I now value faith, family and friends. I am empowered with values and purpose.
When your values trump your addiction, there is no addiction! When circumstances in life leave you feeling emotionally overwhelmed, helpless, trapped, powerless and out of control, transform your thinking, surrender control to Christ and he will send you a Helper that will empower you to regain control with new values and you will be a new person. No rocket science here, just behavior science and scripture.
2 Corinthians 5:17 if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
Fast forward: God changed my thinking and changed my life. I now value faith, family and friends. I am empowered with values and purpose.
When your values trump your addiction, there is no addiction! When circumstances in life leave you feeling emotionally overwhelmed, helpless, trapped, powerless and out of control, transform your thinking, surrender control to Christ and he will send you a Helper that will empower you to regain control with new values and you will be a new person. No rocket science here, just behavior science and scripture.
2 Corinthians 5:17 if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 980
For me this will be Christmas # 2 being apart from her.
Last shared one was 2017. It was very nice time - but seems like ages ago or maybe it was just a dream.
Last year I remember got the song Holy Joly Christmas stuck in my head for some reason. LOL Went on for weeks & was driving me crazy.
I have zero Christmas spirit. I don't like feeling that way.
The long journey up for me is really just one step at a time. I have reached some much needed plateaus but honestly cant imagine reaching or what the view from the top will look like.
2017 & 2018 were rough years for me. 2019 was somewhat better. Hard to even think about 2020. Have no clue what the new year will bring.
Last shared one was 2017. It was very nice time - but seems like ages ago or maybe it was just a dream.
Last year I remember got the song Holy Joly Christmas stuck in my head for some reason. LOL Went on for weeks & was driving me crazy.
I have zero Christmas spirit. I don't like feeling that way.
The long journey up for me is really just one step at a time. I have reached some much needed plateaus but honestly cant imagine reaching or what the view from the top will look like.
2017 & 2018 were rough years for me. 2019 was somewhat better. Hard to even think about 2020. Have no clue what the new year will bring.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,617
Good stuff I hope Hardlessons!
Wombaticus, it has certainly been a tough year for you. Better things are around the corner. You are going to be ok, it's going to take time and lots of care of yourself, I just know you are up for the task.
Well I'm relieved to see there is a bah humbug brigade, because that is where i'm at and have been for several years now. I have zero "Christmas spirit". Like honeypig, I find the xmas stuff annoying, well I did, now I just avoid it. I also don't do any shopping in stores at this time of year, except food of course!
I just don't care. Is that bad?? If it is, I don't care!!
Happy December everyone!
Wombaticus, it has certainly been a tough year for you. Better things are around the corner. You are going to be ok, it's going to take time and lots of care of yourself, I just know you are up for the task.
Well I'm relieved to see there is a bah humbug brigade, because that is where i'm at and have been for several years now. I have zero "Christmas spirit". Like honeypig, I find the xmas stuff annoying, well I did, now I just avoid it. I also don't do any shopping in stores at this time of year, except food of course!
I just don't care. Is that bad?? If it is, I don't care!!
Happy December everyone!
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
Christmas sucks. Its suckiness has nothing to do with the religious content of the holiday and everything to do with the imperative to be HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! And to create special magical memories with your family and post them all over social media, hashtag #blessed!
I’m a conscientious objector. This Christmas Kid and I are taking a cheap flight to a warm place where we don’t know anybody, and will just soak up the sun and desert. I’ve wanted to do this for ages, but when her father was alive he always withheld his permission for her to travel with me. I don’t need that permission anymore.
I’m a conscientious objector. This Christmas Kid and I are taking a cheap flight to a warm place where we don’t know anybody, and will just soak up the sun and desert. I’ve wanted to do this for ages, but when her father was alive he always withheld his permission for her to travel with me. I don’t need that permission anymore.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
this year it is particularly difficult for me to get IN to the holiday thing. oh i had no problem ordering presents, taking advantage of sales, etc. but a few weeks ago we received some immeasurably sad news about one of our dogs and it sucked my soul right out of me.
my husband went to a union event recently and at the end they told everyone to grab a centerpiece poinsettia to take home. for days i thought, hmmm, that serves as a tree AND decorations - good enough!
on saturday i had to go to our garage to hunt something down and managed to lug one box of decorations in with me. i now have a two boxes of decorations IN the house and consider this progress.
we will be having my (adult) daughter over for christmas dinner and presents and by then i WILL have some tinsel flung at the wall. as this will be our last holiday with one of our dogs (Della Rose for those who remember), I'm going to suck it up - because this isn't JUST about me and my feelings, altho they most certainly DO matter. and everyone would be fine if it ended up as JUST a plant with the red leaves that are starting curl a bit. so i'm not operating under someone else's DEMANDS.
my husband went to a union event recently and at the end they told everyone to grab a centerpiece poinsettia to take home. for days i thought, hmmm, that serves as a tree AND decorations - good enough!
on saturday i had to go to our garage to hunt something down and managed to lug one box of decorations in with me. i now have a two boxes of decorations IN the house and consider this progress.
we will be having my (adult) daughter over for christmas dinner and presents and by then i WILL have some tinsel flung at the wall. as this will be our last holiday with one of our dogs (Della Rose for those who remember), I'm going to suck it up - because this isn't JUST about me and my feelings, altho they most certainly DO matter. and everyone would be fine if it ended up as JUST a plant with the red leaves that are starting curl a bit. so i'm not operating under someone else's DEMANDS.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 471
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
this year it is particularly difficult for me to get IN to the holiday thing. oh i had no problem ordering presents, taking advantage of sales, etc. but a few weeks ago we received some immeasurably sad news about one of our dogs and it sucked my soul right out of me.
my husband went to a union event recently and at the end they told everyone to grab a centerpiece poinsettia to take home. for days i thought, hmmm, that serves as a tree AND decorations - good enough!
on saturday i had to go to our garage to hunt something down and managed to lug one box of decorations in with me. i now have a two boxes of decorations IN the house and consider this progress.
we will be having my (adult) daughter over for christmas dinner and presents and by then i WILL have some tinsel flung at the wall. as this will be our last holiday with one of our dogs (Della Rose for those who remember), I'm going to suck it up - because this isn't JUST about me and my feelings, altho they most certainly DO matter. and everyone would be fine if it ended up as JUST a plant with the red leaves that are starting curl a bit. so i'm not operating under someone else's DEMANDS.
my husband went to a union event recently and at the end they told everyone to grab a centerpiece poinsettia to take home. for days i thought, hmmm, that serves as a tree AND decorations - good enough!
on saturday i had to go to our garage to hunt something down and managed to lug one box of decorations in with me. i now have a two boxes of decorations IN the house and consider this progress.
we will be having my (adult) daughter over for christmas dinner and presents and by then i WILL have some tinsel flung at the wall. as this will be our last holiday with one of our dogs (Della Rose for those who remember), I'm going to suck it up - because this isn't JUST about me and my feelings, altho they most certainly DO matter. and everyone would be fine if it ended up as JUST a plant with the red leaves that are starting curl a bit. so i'm not operating under someone else's DEMANDS.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,617
I won't even comment, it's too sad, but I know.
As for getting two boxes of decorations in to the house, that's a win! My decorations are in the room next to my office here. I haven't decorated in hmm, say 5 years? Now if I had someone else to consider, coming over, that would be a different kettle of fish.
I do have a miniature pink tree. Might plug it in lol
As for getting two boxes of decorations in to the house, that's a win! My decorations are in the room next to my office here. I haven't decorated in hmm, say 5 years? Now if I had someone else to consider, coming over, that would be a different kettle of fish.
I do have a miniature pink tree. Might plug it in lol
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Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by Wombaticus
The thought of next year feels overwhelming - like ive got a mountain to climb. So many things to tackle. There better be a good view from the top.
I'm finding the "magic of Christmas" and "most wonderful time of the year" ads on TV infuriating.
It's the end of a long, sad year.
I'm finding the "magic of Christmas" and "most wonderful time of the year" ads on TV infuriating.
It's the end of a long, sad year.
Today was completely unproductive for me because I was worrying about 5 different things.
Tomorrow I'm only going to worry about 1 thing.
Maybe then I will actually get something done. That's my journey!
Hang in there Wombaticus, it can't get worse, can it?
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Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 471
Originally Posted by Emmalyn
Have you heard the saying that it's the journey not the destination? It's a nice thought, but there are times when "the journey" is so overwhelming.
Today was completely unproductive for me because I was worrying about 5 different things.
Tomorrow I'm only going to worry about 1 thing.
Maybe then I will actually get something done. That's my journey!
Hang in there Wombaticus, it can't get worse, can it?
Today was completely unproductive for me because I was worrying about 5 different things.
Tomorrow I'm only going to worry about 1 thing.
Maybe then I will actually get something done. That's my journey!
Hang in there Wombaticus, it can't get worse, can it?
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