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My mum

Old 12-14-2019, 02:43 PM
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My mum

Hi I’m new here, i just wanted an outlet, my mum is an alcoholic and she doesn’t think she is, she doesn’t want help, I’m pretty sure she’s alcohol dependent now. It breaks my heart this isn’t my mum, it reached an all time low today when she urinated in the kitchen because she couldn’t get to the toilet. I’m at the end of my tether
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Old 12-14-2019, 03:06 PM
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I'm really sorry for what brings you here Naz, but this is a place of great support and understanding.

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

D
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Old 12-14-2019, 03:33 PM
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I'm so sorry Naz. Us addicts can spread so much misery. I never did what your poor Mum did, but I did a million other versions of that because of my drinking. I don't know if you can get away from the situation. Find some way to keep yourself sane. If you are old enough, just get away from it because only your Mum can stop the insanity.
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Old 12-14-2019, 03:44 PM
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I'm sorry for your situation, Naz. Do you live at home with your mother or are you able to leave and get away?
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Old 12-14-2019, 05:01 PM
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I'm sorry for what brings you here, but welcome to the SR family.
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:01 PM
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Thanks

Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I'm really sorry for what brings you here Naz, but this is a place of great support and understanding.

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

D
Thanks, I’m 31 I know I sound like a child complaining but she makes me feel like one
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Anna View Post
I'm sorry for your situation, Naz. Do you live at home with your mother or are you able to leave and get away?
I’m trapped I’m a single mother of two and we live in the family home together, I can’t afford to move out, I work full time and she is built in childcare I don’t want to leave her I want my mum back
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:09 PM
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Welcome back Naz - thanks for replying I understand your situation a little better now.

is she ok to look after the kids?

D
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Naz88 View Post

I’m trapped I’m a single mother of two and we live in the family home together, I can’t afford to move out, I work full time and she is built in childcare I don’t want to leave her I want my mum back
Id be very cautious with leaving my kid(s) in the care of an alcoholic.

Just know there's nothing you can do about her drinking. She has to be the one to want help
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:12 PM
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Hello Naz. So much love. That is so hard....you need your mum and love her, but how do we help our parents when they are ill and can't help themselves? s

Does you mum have a regular doctor, or perhaps do you? That would be my first step...I would call a medical person and get advice. I think there is more help now that is way more readily available.

Just a thought. s xx ❤️
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:13 PM
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Love the addict hate the disease. All you can do is pray for her. Its all on her. ✌
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Welcome back Naz - thanks for replying I understand your situation a little better now.

is she ok to look after the kids?

D
she’s never hurt the kids, she says she’s ok to watch them, she said if I take them away she’ll kill herself
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:17 PM
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Originally Posted by DontRemember View Post
Id be very cautious with leaving my kid(s) in the care of an alcoholic.

Just know there's nothing you can do about her drinking. She has to be the one to want help
she flip flops, she has an appointment with the local drug and alcohol service, when she’s sober she says she’ll go, then she says I’m forcing her and that she doesn’t want to she wants help but doesn’t want it
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Naz88 View Post

she’s never hurt the kids, she says she’s ok to watch them, she said if I take them away she’ll kill herself

This woman should not be watching children.

Wish there was a kinder, softer way to say it. You sound like a very sweet person.

Shes a manipulative addict.

Please dont subject your kids to that unhealthy dynamic.
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:22 PM
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Originally Posted by venuscat View Post
Hello Naz. So much love. That is so hard....you need your mum and love her, but how do we help our parents when they are ill and can't help themselves? s

Does you mum have a regular doctor, or perhaps do you? That would be my first step...I would call a medical person and get advice. I think there is more help now that is way more readily available.

Just a thought. s xx ❤️
I love her and hate her at the same time, I’m a mental health nurse and my family expect me to fix this but there’s nothing I can do unless she helps herself. Why won’t she help herself
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:24 PM
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Originally Posted by ShiftHappens View Post
This woman should not be watching children.

Wish there was a kinder, softer way to say it. You sound like a very sweet person.

Shes a manipulative addict.

Please dont subject your kids to that unhealthy dynamic.
I know you are right

I can’t afford child care, I’d have to quit my job 😪
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:24 PM
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We need to accept that that is no longer the current medical point of view.....that unless she is willing there is nothing you can do.

But I hear you. xx
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:48 PM
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Even though she's your mum, I wouldn't be leaving children alone with her. It must be having some impact on them. I grew up with an alcoholic parent. It's impossible to fix them. They make promises to change and break them. I would try to get children out of that situation.
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Mary88 View Post
Even though she's your mum, I wouldn't be leaving children alone with her. It must be having some impact on them. I grew up with an alcoholic parent. It's impossible to fix them. They make promises to change and break them. I would try to get children out of that situation.
my dad was an abusive alcoholic and it had an impact I know my kids are suffering and it’s not good for their mental health, I’m getting a lot of backlash for exposing them to her but I’m not in a position financially to leave
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Old 01-04-2020, 02:55 PM
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But you could talk to a doctor who has the power to help and maybe intervene.
I know it's horrendously hard, but I feel that reaching out is a way forward for you here. s
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