Theresa74

Hi everyone, glad you're here!
I'm not new to recovery/sobriety but I'm new here.
I was mandated into AA almost 3 1/2 years ago and haven't had a drink since but find myself wanting to move on from AA. I've gone so long out of fear of not going, and that's not what I want to base my recovery on anymore. I find myself holding my tongue in meetings and even with my sponsor, because my true self and my beliefs simply don't align with the AA program.
I came to appreciate AA and have mad respect for so many in the rooms, I just know it's not for me.
So that's why I'm here. Hoping to connect with others like myself, and hopefully offer some support too.
Have a great weekend everyone!
T

least

Welcome to the family. Congrats on three and a half years sober! If you want to move on, do so. You sound like you've got this sobriety thing down pat.

SoberLeigh

Welcome, Theresa. I am very glad you found this very understanding and supportive forum.

Huge congrats on 3-1/2 years of sobriety.

Look forward to seeing you around the site.

Anna

Congratulations on your recovery!

You will find lots of support here.

Callas

Well done on your sobriety.

Surrendered19

I'm very new to sobriety and appreciate that people with years of sober experience are willing to talk to us newbies and give of their time like that. Thank you Theresa.

PhoenixJ

Welcome Theresa. Scope the numerous threads in the Newcomers forum (and all the other ones) - get involved. I am at SR every morning as an integral part of what little routine I do have, daily. Lots of places to learn, share, get and offer support. Support to you.

Hevyn

It's wonderful to have you join us, Theresa. Many of us have not used AA to become or stay sober. You'll find us to be an encouraging & friendly group.

JustTony

Welcome Theresa - there are lots of people in SR that have found many ways to be sober for very long periods. I'm sure you'll find all the different methods and contributions interesting.

Over 3 years is mind boggling to me by the way! Awesome.

saoutchik

Welcome Theresa and congratulations on 3 and a half years of sobriety.

Dee74

Welcome to SR Therese

D

tomls

Welcome!

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

I went to AA on my own to get sober almost 10 years ago. I got a sponsor, did the steps, and got sober. After I was sober for a couple of years the urgency of going to AA meetings decreased. My attendance has dropped off over the years, and frankly I haven't been to a meeting in several months.

I think that's ok. I am pretty comfortable in my sobriety and will hit the 10 year mark in a few months. I met some great people in AA, and still see a couple of them around, but I just don't feel much need to go to meetings anymore.

I should add however, that if I felt my sobriety was in trouble (and the death of my wife or one of my kids is something that would rock my world) I would have my butt back in an AA meeting very quickly.

DriGuy

I stayed in AA for a long time out of fear that I would drink. At three years, I felt I didn't need meetings anymore, but I continued because I actually enjoyed the evening get-together, and I had made friends there. Also, it was commonly stated that people who quit going to meetings were going to drink. In fact, when people in my group went back out and then came back, when asked why they drank, they would say, "Because I quit going to meetings." This seemed to be a stock answer that always met with the approval of the group. I doubt that it was true most of the time. It's also likely they quit going to meetings because they were drinking. People who go back out are hardly likely to show up at meetings. It's also likely that "Because I quit going to meetings," was less embarrassing than "Because I was an idiot," or something that was even harder to own.

I don't drink because I love sobriety. This is strong motivator for me. Fear is useful early on, but good Lord, I don't want to carry that around forever.

Do you need AA? I think you probably know whether you still do or not. Of course, we humans are experts at lying to ourselves, so take a close look at this. I haven't been to a meeting for 10 years, and attended rarely for 10 years before that. Drinking never crossed my mind, but then everyone is different. I did not want AA to become my life. And after so many years, I wasn't getting much more out of it. If I started having cravings, I'd be back there in a heart beat, but I can't imagine that happening.

Verdantia

Welcome, Theresa--and congratulations on 3 1/2 sober years. I have nearly 4 years and don't attend AA anymore, but I respect the program; it was a big help to me in early sobriety. I use SR as my main support and check in several times a day; there are wonderful, caring people here and it has been a vital part of my recovery. I hope you continue to post and to offer support.

Tetrax

Ah the rooms! Gotta love 'em! But yeah I mostly just use this, maybe one meeting a week.

fini

welcome, Theresa.
no, i do not want a fear-based sobriety, either. and it is not what i have.

wondering what your thoughts are on the concept of “giving it away in order to keep it” ?
trying and wanting to be of use has worked well for me so far.

good to see you here.

Ghostlight1

Hey Theresa,
I took what I needed from AA, which was a lot, and stopped attending meetings.
I believe in it's principles. I believe for the most part it works for those of us willing to commit to it.
I wouldn't be sober without AA, and that will be eleven years in ten days.
I haven't been to a meeting in probably seven years.
But as someone said, I kind of enjoyed them. I just couldn't jibe with the dogma attached to the whole principles of the 'program'.

I don't know if I'll ever go back. Who's to say. I may need it again, I may not.
I still quote from AA on here, and I still believe it has saved countless lives.
I dunno. I took what I needed and left.
I understand what you're saying.

Surlyredhead

Hi Theresa,

Congratulations on 3 1/2 years, that is amazing. I also stopped AA after the first few years, I live by it's basic principals still, but I have found various recovery ways that I have kind of blended into my own recovery plan. Mostly, don't drink (LOL) . This Recovery board is a great tool with great people sharing their experience, strength and hope. I have found it to be a safe place to be.

Welcome...Cathy

GiftsOfSobriety

Congratulations on your sobriety Theresa. I also tried AA off and on for several years. I know it works for many people but it never felt right for me. SR has been extremely valuable in my recovery. I mostly read. I do so virtually everyday and I always take away something positive to keep my on my journey. Welcome.