Street Racers, Feuding Neighbors and Sirens
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Street Racers, Feuding Neighbors and Sirens
Good morning everyone!
My reason for starting this thread, is to ask you all for some perspective on "geographic cures."
I have bought two different houses here within the past two months and had to pull both out of escrow. The second house was burglarized the week after I opened escrow. I found out from a neighbor it was the second burglary in 30 days.
I am still living in a rented place I have had just over two years. The landlord is an advanced alcoholic with PTSD from a war in the middle east. He started a feud with the lady across the alley over items left behind by a homeless person. Every day they were moving back and forth between his side of the alley and hers. He told me last night he called the police after she threatened to have her ex-convict son pay him a visit to teach him a lesson. I went out last night after dark and moved the items into my trash bin.
I hear sirens and street racers all the time. Our town has an abysmal crime rate, even in the best areas.
I find myself at a unique place where I could easily move. I have no connections tying me to this place. I could transfer with my company.
My cousin is a real estate agent in Florida, and I told her yesterday I am considering moving back there.
I am asking you folks if this would be considered a "geographic cure" from a twelve-step perspective?
Many thanks!!!
My reason for starting this thread, is to ask you all for some perspective on "geographic cures."
I have bought two different houses here within the past two months and had to pull both out of escrow. The second house was burglarized the week after I opened escrow. I found out from a neighbor it was the second burglary in 30 days.
I am still living in a rented place I have had just over two years. The landlord is an advanced alcoholic with PTSD from a war in the middle east. He started a feud with the lady across the alley over items left behind by a homeless person. Every day they were moving back and forth between his side of the alley and hers. He told me last night he called the police after she threatened to have her ex-convict son pay him a visit to teach him a lesson. I went out last night after dark and moved the items into my trash bin.
I hear sirens and street racers all the time. Our town has an abysmal crime rate, even in the best areas.
I find myself at a unique place where I could easily move. I have no connections tying me to this place. I could transfer with my company.
My cousin is a real estate agent in Florida, and I told her yesterday I am considering moving back there.
I am asking you folks if this would be considered a "geographic cure" from a twelve-step perspective?
Many thanks!!!
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: The Beach
Posts: 1,106
While it's true we take ourselves everywhere we go... I do think it's a good plan to move away from a place that is crime ridden! ...And it's never a bad idea to remove yourself from an alcoholic's antics.
I moved very far away from where I was born and raised, which happened to be where I also raised my own children. I had real human ties there. Still do. But I moved 3K miles away and it has been the healthiest thing I have ever done for myself.
Change is good. I'm all for uprooting and trying new things. If you move and you don't like it, move again! We aren't trees, we don't have actual roots holding us in place. That's the beautiful thing about living on such vast continent, our options are endless!
If I was you I'd give Florida a try. I did and I LOVE it!
I moved very far away from where I was born and raised, which happened to be where I also raised my own children. I had real human ties there. Still do. But I moved 3K miles away and it has been the healthiest thing I have ever done for myself.
Change is good. I'm all for uprooting and trying new things. If you move and you don't like it, move again! We aren't trees, we don't have actual roots holding us in place. That's the beautiful thing about living on such vast continent, our options are endless!
If I was you I'd give Florida a try. I did and I LOVE it!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Eauch…..I don't know about the twelve steps...but, I, personally, would be already packing...…
Moving away from crime and harm's way, when you have an opportunity falls under one of the things that you CAN control...as per the Serenity Prayer.....
Moving away from crime and harm's way, when you have an opportunity falls under one of the things that you CAN control...as per the Serenity Prayer.....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2019
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 52
Hi Euachiche-
From what you've said it doesn't sound like you are running from anything. It sounds like a logical decision based on the two houses you pulled out of escrow.
The only thing I wish I had sussed out better was the job market before I moved from the Midwest to Texas. I am having a heck of a time finding employment. 4 months and counting!
If it's an internal transfer or you can work remotely, that sounds optimal. Moving, then looking for work is stressful.
The weather was another biggie for me, when I first got here it was in the 100 degree range. That was really hard to adjust to, and I'm worrying about next year when the temperature climbs again.
I am happy for you, change is good, adjustments can be made, it just takes time. Always longer than we think.
E
From what you've said it doesn't sound like you are running from anything. It sounds like a logical decision based on the two houses you pulled out of escrow.
The only thing I wish I had sussed out better was the job market before I moved from the Midwest to Texas. I am having a heck of a time finding employment. 4 months and counting!
If it's an internal transfer or you can work remotely, that sounds optimal. Moving, then looking for work is stressful.
The weather was another biggie for me, when I first got here it was in the 100 degree range. That was really hard to adjust to, and I'm worrying about next year when the temperature climbs again.
I am happy for you, change is good, adjustments can be made, it just takes time. Always longer than we think.
E
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,609
I totally agree - pack up the truck!
I actually DID move to Florida for 16 months once, tired of the winters and I thought, why not!
Well the 16 months is a hint I guess, I'm not from the U.S. and I found it to be too much lol (long story I won't bore you with).
It is hot in the summer (too hot in my opinion) and can be pretty chilly in the winter, but if employment is not an issue, why not go for it?
However, Florida is a beautiful place. If you are looking for some peace and quiet I would recommend looking at Lake Mary. It's a small town about 17 miles from Orlando. Pretty, calm, walkable and friendly people that keep to themselves.
I actually DID move to Florida for 16 months once, tired of the winters and I thought, why not!
Well the 16 months is a hint I guess, I'm not from the U.S. and I found it to be too much lol (long story I won't bore you with).
It is hot in the summer (too hot in my opinion) and can be pretty chilly in the winter, but if employment is not an issue, why not go for it?
However, Florida is a beautiful place. If you are looking for some peace and quiet I would recommend looking at Lake Mary. It's a small town about 17 miles from Orlando. Pretty, calm, walkable and friendly people that keep to themselves.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
doin a geographic is about trying to escape oneself.
moving house for a hopefully less chaotic, crime ridden environment is about self-preservation.
however we have to be careful of the expectation that future home/location will not have ANY issues, unless we move to an island where we are the only inhabitants.
moving house for a hopefully less chaotic, crime ridden environment is about self-preservation.
however we have to be careful of the expectation that future home/location will not have ANY issues, unless we move to an island where we are the only inhabitants.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
As always, you folks with your collective wisdom and experiences, never disappoint.
I also called an ecclesiastical group I trust in Florida and asked advice from a religious perspective. I got the administrative assistant to one of the founders!!!
She explained that God will sometimes make us uncomfortable in a locale so we become willing to move. Her input dovetailed with you guys.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I wish there was a way to repay you. I will update you as this unfolds.
I also called an ecclesiastical group I trust in Florida and asked advice from a religious perspective. I got the administrative assistant to one of the founders!!!
She explained that God will sometimes make us uncomfortable in a locale so we become willing to move. Her input dovetailed with you guys.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I wish there was a way to repay you. I will update you as this unfolds.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,609
It's funny that you say that, as I was reading your post (although I am not a religious person) this came to mind, which I'm sure you are familiar with.
"A faithful Christian man heard the warning and decided to stay, saying to himself, “I will trust God and if I am in danger, then God will send a divine miracle to save me.”
The neighbors came by his house and said to him, “We’re leaving and there is room for you in our car, please come with us!” But the man declined. “I have faith that God will save me.”
As the man stood on his porch watching the water rise up the steps, a man in a canoe paddled by and called to him, “Hurry and come into my canoe, the waters are rising quickly!” But the man again said, “No thanks, God will save me.”
The floodwaters rose higher pouring water into his living room and the man had to retreat to the second floor. A police motorboat came by and saw him at the window. “We will come up and rescue you!” they shouted. But the man refused, waving them off saying, “Use your time to save someone else! I have faith that God will save me!”
The flood waters rose higher and higher and the man had to climb up to his rooftop.
A helicopter spotted him and dropped a rope ladder. A rescue officer came down the ladder and pleaded with the man, "Grab my hand and I will pull you up!" But the man STILL refused, folding his arms tightly to his body. “No thank you! God will save me!”
Shortly after, the house broke up and the floodwaters swept the man away and he drowned.
When in Heaven, the man stood before God and asked, “I put all of my faith in You. Why didn’t You come and save me?”
And God said, “Son, I sent you a warning. I sent you a car. I sent you a canoe. I sent you a motorboat. I sent you a helicopter. What more were you looking for?”
"A faithful Christian man heard the warning and decided to stay, saying to himself, “I will trust God and if I am in danger, then God will send a divine miracle to save me.”
The neighbors came by his house and said to him, “We’re leaving and there is room for you in our car, please come with us!” But the man declined. “I have faith that God will save me.”
As the man stood on his porch watching the water rise up the steps, a man in a canoe paddled by and called to him, “Hurry and come into my canoe, the waters are rising quickly!” But the man again said, “No thanks, God will save me.”
The floodwaters rose higher pouring water into his living room and the man had to retreat to the second floor. A police motorboat came by and saw him at the window. “We will come up and rescue you!” they shouted. But the man refused, waving them off saying, “Use your time to save someone else! I have faith that God will save me!”
The flood waters rose higher and higher and the man had to climb up to his rooftop.
A helicopter spotted him and dropped a rope ladder. A rescue officer came down the ladder and pleaded with the man, "Grab my hand and I will pull you up!" But the man STILL refused, folding his arms tightly to his body. “No thank you! God will save me!”
Shortly after, the house broke up and the floodwaters swept the man away and he drowned.
When in Heaven, the man stood before God and asked, “I put all of my faith in You. Why didn’t You come and save me?”
And God said, “Son, I sent you a warning. I sent you a car. I sent you a canoe. I sent you a motorboat. I sent you a helicopter. What more were you looking for?”
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
I would absolutely move. Your day to day surroundings have a huge impact on your baseline state of mental health.
I think the "geographic cure" is when you move because you think that moving will solve everything and all you need is a change of scene. It's a way of minimizing your problems. Getting out of a crime-ridden noisy neighbourhood in favour of somewhere more peaceful is just good sense.
I think the "geographic cure" is when you move because you think that moving will solve everything and all you need is a change of scene. It's a way of minimizing your problems. Getting out of a crime-ridden noisy neighbourhood in favour of somewhere more peaceful is just good sense.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: maine
Posts: 1,545
I guess I'll be the odd man out.
After getting burned with House #1, it looks as if you did no more research on the neighborhood of House #2. I live in a rural state, in a suburb of a small city. Late Husband and I looked for a house with a couple acres, but one in an area where neighbors could see the house, the front door, and would notice if, say, the cars didn't move for days on end, and might call the police to check. The other thing we looked for was silly, but it worked for us: tire tracks on the road, especially where the side roads entered onto main roads. We called it the 'ya-hoo quotient.' We went with a neighborhood with a zero ya-hoo quotient.
Almost 17 years later, there are still no tire tracks in the road. That's just lucky, I guess, or maybe no drunk Dads or older brothers taught 16 and 17 year olds that screeching tires and laying rubber was cool.
I'd consider a move south, myself. I'd probably rent a year or two to get a feel for the town or city before putting a down payment on a house. And these days (unlike when Late Husband and I moved) many cities and even smallish towns have Facebook pages. You can always join a page and ask what living there is like. I have answered questions from people like that on local municipal pages.
Understand that some towns have an insular mentality, and you will never, ever, ever be 'one of them:' no matter what you do, how nice you are, how long you live there. (When Late and I pulled out of Home #1, all our friends, *every single one,* were other people who had moved to Tinytown. Not one local person would be counted, not one.) Here in Town #2, strangers have plowed my driveway, free of charge.
There are a lot of old people in Florida, and a lot of them are alcoholics. I had one date with a guy (came up from Fla to meet me) and was dismayed to discover he was at least 20 years older than I. His excuse for avoiding telling me this and continuing to engage with me was that most of the women down there whom he would consider his peers were retired alcoholics or women who had had themselves defined as 'disabled' so they could sit around and drink all day.
Just sayin'.
After getting burned with House #1, it looks as if you did no more research on the neighborhood of House #2. I live in a rural state, in a suburb of a small city. Late Husband and I looked for a house with a couple acres, but one in an area where neighbors could see the house, the front door, and would notice if, say, the cars didn't move for days on end, and might call the police to check. The other thing we looked for was silly, but it worked for us: tire tracks on the road, especially where the side roads entered onto main roads. We called it the 'ya-hoo quotient.' We went with a neighborhood with a zero ya-hoo quotient.
Almost 17 years later, there are still no tire tracks in the road. That's just lucky, I guess, or maybe no drunk Dads or older brothers taught 16 and 17 year olds that screeching tires and laying rubber was cool.
I'd consider a move south, myself. I'd probably rent a year or two to get a feel for the town or city before putting a down payment on a house. And these days (unlike when Late Husband and I moved) many cities and even smallish towns have Facebook pages. You can always join a page and ask what living there is like. I have answered questions from people like that on local municipal pages.
Understand that some towns have an insular mentality, and you will never, ever, ever be 'one of them:' no matter what you do, how nice you are, how long you live there. (When Late and I pulled out of Home #1, all our friends, *every single one,* were other people who had moved to Tinytown. Not one local person would be counted, not one.) Here in Town #2, strangers have plowed my driveway, free of charge.
There are a lot of old people in Florida, and a lot of them are alcoholics. I had one date with a guy (came up from Fla to meet me) and was dismayed to discover he was at least 20 years older than I. His excuse for avoiding telling me this and continuing to engage with me was that most of the women down there whom he would consider his peers were retired alcoholics or women who had had themselves defined as 'disabled' so they could sit around and drink all day.
Just sayin'.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
Originally Posted by velma929 
Understand that some towns have an insular mentality, and you will never, ever, ever be 'one of them:' no matter what you do, how nice you are, how long you live there.
There are a lot of old people in Florida, and a lot of them are alcoholics.......
There are a lot of old people in Florida, and a lot of them are alcoholics.......
We also have one of the highest addiction rates in the country.
I was born in Miami, but will not look there. The housing market and drugs are out of sight. My former home town in the 'glades is too far away from my company.
Your input is well taken. Thanks so much!!!
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